Dilemma - with self-serving interests

[Hardcore troubadour 12,556]

6 minutes ago, Hawkeye21 said:

I'm curious, how many of you are divorced or going through divorce?

Happily married. 

[Hawkeye21 1,848]

3 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

As far as I know, I am not going through a divorce.  Wife might say otherwise.

My parents were divorced and I have a ton of friends that have gone through this situation or are going through it now.  I have far too much second-hand experience here.

After spending some time on here the last few months it looks like there are quite a few members here who have gone through a divorce.

[Strike 3,934]

1 minute ago, Hawkeye21 said:

After spending some time on here the last few months it looks like there are quite a few members here who have gone through a divorce.

Just like you Newbie. 

[Hawkeye21 1,848]

Just now, Strike said:

Just like you Newbie. 

You must enjoy being wrong.  Happily married for 12 years now with two kids and I'm not even close to being Newbie.

[jerryskids 5,154]

3 minutes ago, Hawkeye21 said:

After spending some time on here the last few months it looks like there are quite a few members here who have gone through a divorce.

Why do you ask?  Can we not have an opinion if we haven't been divorced?

[MDC 5,875]

Just now, Hawkeye21 said:

After spending some time on here the last few months it looks like there are quite a few members here who have gone through a divorce.

Happily married going on 12 years.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

8 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Happily married. 

2 minutes ago, MDC said:

Happily married going on 12 years.

Unpossible!!!

You are either happy or you are married.  Can't be both. 

[Hawkeye21 1,848]

1 minute ago, jerryskids said:

Why do you ask?  Can we not have an opinion if we haven't been divorced?

I was curious.  How did you come to that conclusion?

[jerryskids 5,154]

21 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

I went to lunch with a pastor last week.  It was good bouncing things I am working through off someone else.  And I feel like I can work through them, and then a focking curveball like dbag wants to take my son to the AFC championship comes into play.  I'm trying here man.

I don't imagine that it is easy.  I like to give you shiot because you are SOOO crazy about all of your sports teams, and yet here she is kicking you in the nads with it.

Glad to hear that you are talking to someone. 

[TimmySmith 2,782]

This thread is degrading into bad advice.  The truth CMH is you are going to have to eat a sh1t sandwich for the next 5 years with your son, OR you can play the bitter assh0le.  Eat the sandwich.  

[Hardcore troubadour 12,556]

Just now, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

Unpossible!!!

You are either happy or you are married.  Can't be both. 

I reminded her the other day that I have been treated to exactly one super bowl/ World Series victory since she blessed me with her presence. She didn’t care. 

[jerryskids 5,154]

1 minute ago, Hawkeye21 said:

I was curious.  How did you come to that conclusion?

Well, you didn't say why you asked and I was curious so I figured I'd speculate.

You still haven't said why you asked. 

[jerryskids 5,154]

cmh needs to teach his son how a man should handle this situation...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

... find a hot young hardbody to replace the old model. 

[posty 2,295]

Do what you want cmh, but I would take the high road and let him go with them...  Like you said at the beginning, it is her weekend...  You push and somehow you win, your life with your ex-wife and getting time with your son until he is 18 will probably be hell...

[Hawkeye21 1,848]

Just now, jerryskids said:

Well, you didn't say why you asked and I was curious so I figured I'd speculate.

You still haven't said why you asked. 

Like I said, I was curious.  I feel like I've seen it mentioned a lot on here.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

4 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

I reminded her the other day that I have been treated to exactly one super bowl/ World Series victory since she blessed me with her presence. She didn’t care. 

I am 3 month's shy of 25 years.  We have had a few more than that during that time. 

[Bert 1,087]

2 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

cmh needs to teach his son how a man should handle this situation...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

... find a hot young hardbody to replace the old model. 

And bring her with you every time you go to pick up your son. 

[jerryskids 5,154]

Get your son a Chiefs jersey that says "I'd rather be with Dad" on the back. 

[Hardcore troubadour 12,556]

5 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

I am 3 month's shy of 25 years.  We have had a few more than that during that time. 

Here comes the Judge! 

[jerryskids 5,154]

7 minutes ago, Hawkeye21 said:

Like I said, I was curious.  I feel like I've seen it mentioned a lot on here.

That's not very conducive to conversation.  So let's presume that lots of people here have been divorced, since I doubt we are going to get an accurate recounting.  What is your point?

[nzoner 936]

29 minutes ago, Hawkeye21 said:

I'm curious, how many of you are divorced or going through divorce?

Married 34 years,although divorce was a hot topic a couple of times.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

2 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Here comes the Judge! 

I am not predicting any championships anytime soon in Boston. 

[vuduchile 1,940]

7 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

I'm thinking I can get a pair of these tickets for $500-600 if I play my cards right.  The superbowl would probably cost me like 10 times that.  I have cmh money, not nzoner money

What I'm saying is I understand the hype and the excitement right now.  But years from now, you and your son might have a completely different perspective.  As with most pro teams, these players are somewhat interchangeable, and many won't be there next year or the the year after, so you're mostly rooting for a uniform. 

I've only been to 3 big games.  Looking back, they were all sorta meh in the grand scheme.

Game 5 of the last Bulls championship season.  Big bucks for nosebleeds.  Jordan missed a buzzer beater that would have tied it.  They wrapped up the series in game 6 in Utah. 

2001 ALCS at Yankee Stadium.  Just after 9-11.  The crowd was amazing. There was a feeling of unity that I really can't describe.  

2001 WS at Yankee Stadium.  GW threw the first pitch, the Yankees won, but ended up losing the series. 

I'm glad I went to both those Yankees games, but when I told my kids about it, they only cared if the Yankees won the series.   They also asked me who I went with, and I had to tell them it was my kunty, cheating ex-wife. 

When I moved away from NY, and the Yankees  eventually bought ARoid for $275M, it put me off them for good. 

With enough time and distance, things can look much different.  

 

 

 

 

[cmh6476 748]

2 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

I am not predicting any championships anytime soon in Boston. 

It still feels to me like it's going to continue to be a QB dominant league.  And while most every SB of the last 2 decades either had Brady or Manning or Roethlisberger in them, I'm still trying to figure out in addition to Mahomes who I think the AFC dominant quarterbacks are going to be.  Part of me likes Watson but they need someone other than O'Brien in my opinion.  I'm not sure I'm completely sold on Lamar but I've been wrong countless times before.  There's some other young quarterbacks out there but it just seems like there is a gap between who we got and who everyone else has.  And I realize it's really damn early to start talking like this about Mahomes, but it just feels that way to me.

[Hawkeye21 1,848]

5 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

That's not very conducive to conversation.  So let's presume that lots of people here have been divorced, since I doubt we are going to get an accurate recounting.  What is your point?

I'm not sure what you're looking for here.  While I was reading this the thought popped in my head that it seemed like I've read about other saying they were divorced as well.  This made me curious to find out how many people posting are actually divorced here.  That's all.

[frank 2,143]

Look on the bright side. Maybe The Titans will win and the kid will have bad memories of the dude.

[DonS 3,063]

56 minutes ago, Hawkeye21 said:

I'm curious, how many of you are divorced or going through divorce?

Not divorced, been married 25 years, but I did live with a girlfriend while in college that ended up cheating on me.  What a focking wh0re but in hindsight the best thing that could've ever happened to me, as I probably would've stayed with her too long and God forbid married her. KVNT. 

[DonS 3,063]

Enjoy the memory of that incredible comeback.  That memory will probably be stronger than any "normal" victory in the AFC Championship. 

My future wife and I were in Orchard Park for the Bills 32 pt deficit comeback victory against the Oilers.  Will never ever forget, so don't let this bad situation take away from what you experienced together yesterday. 

[Cdub100 3,366]

Is there any way you can talk to your ex and stress how important this is for you? Tell her there will be times when important things come up for her too and that it would be best if the two of you can work together.

[cmh6476 748]

3 minutes ago, Cdub100 said:

Is there any way you can talk to your ex and stress how important this is for you? Tell her there will be times when important things come up for her too and that it would be best if the two of you can work together.

I did tell her if something happened that she wanted to take the kids to, even if it was my weekend that there is no way I would let this girl I'm seeing and my mom take them instead.  Perhaps not as nice as you seemed to lay it out here, but still relevant.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,556]

I bet the BF likes spicy beer. Seems like the type. 

[drobeski 3,061]

11 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

I bet the BF likes spicy beer. Seems like the type. 

Gross

[Hardcore troubadour 12,556]

Just now, drobeski said:

Gross

These are the same people that eat ass, so....

[Cdub100 3,366]

3 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

I did tell her if something happened that she wanted to take the kids to, even if it was my weekend that there is no way I would let this girl I'm seeing and my mom take them instead.  Perhaps not as nice as you seemed to lay it out here, but still relevant.

You're going to have to cool it with this jerk mode sh1t. I know it sucks, you're angry and yeah she probably deserves it. BUT.... what's done is done. By treating her like sh1t all that does is allow her to hurt you like this and not feel bad about it. You don't have to be friends, but you have to be respectful towards her and not sh1t talking her around the kids. She's still their mom and they still love her. When they grow up and learn what happened you'll come across as the winner in the long run if you play this right.

You've probably lost this battle. Don't apologize to her or use empty words just be a better man and start doing the right thing. Be nicer and if something comes up for her don't look for payback be the bigger man.

The best thing you can do is start working on you. Start working out, work on your career and find someone who makes you happy. I'm sure you've heard that before but it really is the best advice.

BTW the BF is a huge douche. Totally agree with you there.

[sderk 1,040]

18 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

I did tell her if something happened that she wanted to take the kids to, even if it was my weekend that there is no way I would let this girl I'm seeing and my mom take them instead.  Perhaps not as nice as you seemed to lay it out here, but still relevant.

Time to relax and take the time to yourself. You cannot at all force quality time. If your kid is not in harms way, and it's not your turn, then the best thing you can do for him is to participate in personal growth.

At this point, given all of your input, the best thing that can happen to your kid is the Chiefs lose to the Titans.

[Kanil 519]

3 hours ago, vuduchile said:

If they win, you can take him to the Super Bowl if you feel like spending that kind of money.  Alternately, watch the the Super Bowl with him on TV.  

 That will be Mom's weekend too.  He could always save a bunch of money and fly them both to the Pro Bowel. (typo'd bowl but then realized it fit better as bowel so left it)

[sderk 1,040]

45 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

I did tell her if something happened that she wanted to take the kids to, even if it was my weekend that there is no way I would let this girl I'm seeing and my mom take them instead.  Perhaps not as nice as you seemed to lay it out here, but still relevant.

You do realize that you are fighting for your dreams, not your kids.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,556]

Just now, sderk said:

You do realize that you are fighting for your dreams, not your kids.

Wrong. 

[cmh6476 748]

Just now, sderk said:

You do realize that you are fighting for your dreams, not your kids.

I also realize that I have a step-dad I love.  And a father I lost to a heart-attack when he was 49 and I was 29.  And as much as there are things I enjoy doing with my step-dad I also realize how much time and opportunity was lost with my dad because my parents divorced when I was a teenager.  You only get one life.  You only get one dad.  I can sit back and take the high road and that's probably the best option and what I should do.  But my son may not have many opportunities to share these kinds of experiences with his dad either.  And as much as it seems selfish, to me it kind of is worth fighting for too.

[Djgb13 2,338]

4 hours ago, cmh6476 said:

I have a different opinion on this than most people.  I know psychologists will tell you, and so will wimmen who leave men because they are unhappy that children should be protected and not put in the middle of the divorce.  My dad never did a good job at this, but looking back now I respect him more for standing up for himself because he got focked over too.  I'm not saying everything needs to run through the kids, and obviously using them as pawns is not acceptable.  But explaining to him that I want to take him, just as I have with just about every other Chiefs playoff game, and how I feel that I've been screwed over like most dads do with custody and child support, and that if anything we should have tried harder to work through issues and challenges and I shouldn't have to miss a chance for the Chiefs to hoist the Lamar Hunt trophy because of decisions I couldn't control is a problem?  The kid is smart as hell, just took the ACT as a 7th grader and got a 21 for a competition he is going to.  Perhaps it's not fair, but life isn't fair.  And my kids are smart enough to understand what's happening and make decisions for themselves.

He got a 21 On the ACT in 7th grade? Better not let vudouche know. He will call you a liar. Kid couldn’t possibly get a higher score as he gets older and studies for the test