Good Evening, Geeks. :furious: :furious:

[phillybear 364]

FOCK OFF. Seriously.

I have recently taken an interest in dating services, since no one can reveal their faces with the fraudulent masks that don’t do sh!t, and I am flummoxed as to why I am not getting any responses. First of all, the questionnaires do not focus on the correct questions.

Obviously, “what is your ideal date?” needs more attention. When you painstakingly provide details of ridiculing 5 year old losers in wheelchairs, beating a fast food worker hiding behind a plastic shield to death with a d!ldo, and a moonless night of grave robbing, 1000 words maximum simply is not sufficient.

Questions. I fockeed a family; what, do you also have a fear of trains? Are you allergic to duct tape; who cares? I’m a kleptomaniac, is there anything I can take for it? I set toilet paper on fire just to p!ss off everybody. And they just keep returning my letters. Rotten luck.

Look, I can get a woman wet at any time, by throwing acid at them. Some have a weight problem, but I don’t care about consent. Let’s face it, some women just don’t look right without a black eye, or three.

My new neighbor has a dog. A barking dog. A dog I can hear 5 miles away. Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark. I hate the mutt. Yet, if the dog killed somebody, I’d help the monstrosity hide the body. I don’t snitch. Respect.

My cousin once had sex with a fish. It was the nastiest thing I’ve ever seen. And by “cousin”, I mean me.

Hockkkkk!!!!!!

With all this extra time at home, I’m working on an upcoming Halloween costume. A dystopic potato costume with no pants. A d!!ck-tater.

Sigh. My greatest nightmare will probably come true, as I will continue to live.

:furious:

[Strike 3,958]

Take the cat out of your dating profile pic:

https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/22/world/cat-men-dating-study-scli-intl-scn-wellness/index.html

[Mookz 1,287]

Around here, we're more attracted to women in masks.  

Best of luck in your search.  

[phillybear 364]

2 hours ago, Strike said:

Take the cat out of your dating profile pic:

https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/22/world/cat-men-dating-study-scli-intl-scn-wellness/index.html

Cats. Pfft. I have a hard time thinking anything else about cats other than jamming a giant fork in their arsehole and using them like a Swiffer Duster.

[phillybear 364]

1 hour ago, Mookz said:

Around here, we're more attracted to women in masks.  

Best of luck in your search.  

I'm more attracted to women after I remove their faces. Tomato. Tomato.

[shorepatrol 1,737]

Was it a carp you face focked? If so, I'm not judging

[KayJay1971 238]

Who the fock are you again?

[phillybear 364]

20 hours ago, shorepatrol said:

Was it a carp you face focked? If so, I'm not judging

Carpe Jugulum.

Seize the throat.

[phillybear 364]

14 minutes ago, KayJay1971 said:

Who the fock are you again?

I'm the neighborhood guy protecting all the short orange statues from radical hoodlums and malcontents.

Some may call them fire hydrants.

I call them tributes to President Trump.

[Voltaire 4,556]

1 hour ago, phillybear said:

I'm the neighborhood guy protecting all the short orange statues from radical hoodlums and malcontents.

Some may call them fire hydrants.

I call them tributes to President Trump.

I call them garden gnomes.

I'm glad the insane asylums released murderous lunatics due to coronavirus concerns phillybear, you were missed.