Your Personal #Walkaway Moment

[FlyinHeadlock 459]

I was in a bar. Saw this gorgeous girl. I thought what the hell...to be the man you have to be the man. I strike up a conversation... knew within 5 min I was hitting paydirt in 48 hrs or less. After another 25 mins however, prospects went from solid gold to dull pewter. Blink of a fvcking eye. 

She told me she just got out of a meth rehab center! WTF? Why tell me this info. Do you not want to get laid or have a relationship with anyone ever again?

 

 

[tanatastic 2,061]

Mistake that’s a nice freak there with addictive tendencies. Who are you to judge her?

[TBayXXXVII 2,116]

4 minutes ago, FlyinHeadlock said:

I was in a bar. Saw this gorgeous girl. I thought what the hell...to be the man you have to be the man. I strike up a conversation... knew within 5 min I was hitting paydirt in 48 hrs or less. After another 25 mins however, prospects went from solid gold to dull pewter. Blink of a fvcking eye. 

She told me she just got out of a meth rehab center! WTF? Why tell me this info. Do you not want to get laid or have a relationship with anyone ever again?

 

 

I'm thinking your chances weren't as good as you thought they were.  She wanted to get rid of you without coming off as being a b!tch.  

[FlyinHeadlock 459]

Just now, TBayXXXVII said:

I'm thinking your chances weren't as good as you thought they were.  She wanted to get rid of you without coming off as being a b!tch.  

I would entertain that but she started balling out crying. No. I wasn't some below semi attractive guy. I know my range. B/T 7.4 and 8.7. She was maybe 8.4. Well withing striking distance.   

[tanatastic 2,061]

10 minutes ago, TBayXXXVII said:

I'm thinking your chances weren't as good as you thought they were.  She wanted to get rid of you without coming off as being a b!tch.  

Betting she has her side of the story she tells her friends or forum friends about that night. “So I’m at the bar going through my literally endless sea of options that messaged me that day on dating apps (multiple 9s+) and this 7 on his best day who thinks he’s an 8 starts chatting me up. He’s nice enough but I could tell he thought he had me in the bag lol. So anyway I told him I was in meth recovery and the look on his face was priceless. He stumbled off shortly after thinking HE was rejecting ME .”

[TBayXXXVII 2,116]

7 minutes ago, tanatastic said:

Betting she has her side of the story she tells her friends or forum friends about that night. “So I’m at the bar going through my literally endless sea of options that messaged me that day on dating apps (multiple 9s+) and this 7 on his best day who thinks he’s an 8 starts chatting me up. He’s nice enough but I could tell he thought he had me in the bag lol. So anyway I told him I was in meth recovery and the look on his face was priceless. He stumbled off shortly after thinking HE was rejecting ME .”

Yeah, I think that's the most likely scenario.  

[KSB2424 3,083]

Walk away?  Shit son, what the hell does that even mean? We had fat girl contests, all through money in the pot to the winner.  

[FlyinHeadlock 459]

Amusing but I have had much dirtier tricks played on me and I passed. One wanted to know why I didn't ask for her number. Well, I saw a ring on her finger. She admitted it was her grandmother's and she was not married. That girl was way hotter than this living Amy Whinehouse. Not buying it. 

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

46 minutes ago, tanatastic said:

Betting she has her side of the story she tells her friends or forum friends about that night. “So I’m at the bar going through my literally endless sea of options that messaged me that day on dating apps (multiple 9s+) and this 7 on his best day who thinks he’s an 8 starts chatting me up. He’s nice enough but I could tell he thought he had me in the bag lol. So anyway I told him I was in meth recovery and the look on his face was priceless. He stumbled off shortly after thinking HE was rejecting ME .”

Thats a risky play though. Many guys would just say the rehab thing changes her to the "still hit it, but give a fake number after" list. 

[FlyinHeadlock 459]

I probably would have pursued it but had a bad experience prior to and had to raise the bar. The chick before that, she opened the front door buck naked. Jacked up on something in broad daylight. Pretty sure we did it in her parents bed. It was the end of an era is all I can say.     

[Cdub100 3,380]

Any port in a storm.

[EternalShinyAndChrome 2,514]

6 minutes ago, Cdub100 said:

Any port in a storm.

Beggars can't be choosers.

[TBayXXXVII 2,116]

24 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

Thats a risky play though. Many guys would just say the rehab thing changes her to the "still hit it, but give a fake number after" list. 

Dude, we're having fun at his expense.  Stop acting like a Republican and using logic and common sense to derail comedy.

[FlyinHeadlock 459]

Please, do have fun at my expense. I am long done messing with pork chops. No point. I have organic filet mignon at the house.

[KSB2424 3,083]

2 minutes ago, FlyinHeadlock said:

Please, do have fun at my expense. 

Thanks for the permission but it wasn't needed.  

[Hardcore troubadour 12,631]

Great, another guy with the best life. The Newbie void has been filled. 

[Fireballer 2,381]

8 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

The Newbie void has been filled. 

Unpossible

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

I'll tell my best walkaway (albeit far too late) story. Those of you who were around here when it happened have heard most or all of it, but I can't recall how much detail I went into, and we have quite a bit of new blood around here since, so what the hell.

As you all know, I live in China. As most of you either know or surmised, that decision came, not surprisingly, after life back home became something of a train wreck. I was around 300 lbs. of crapper busting fatty, was coming off an 8 year marriage of which only the first three containted sex of any kind, was on antidepressent and antianxiety meds, and was pretty much your garden variety simp, as the red pill crew would call it.

So I arrived here, went off the meds cold turkey.

Anyway, about my third month here, we had our first holiday. A week off of work. I was planning to go see some of the sights of China. The great wall, the terracotta warriors, stuff like that. An old China hand told me I was an idiot, that I was about to have 5 months of absolutely horrible cold, rainy, apocalypticly polluted weather ahead, and that I should come with him and his friend to Hainan, the so called "Hawaii of China." They were renting a condo on the beach, it had a couch, I could have it for cheap. As I was fairly broke, having just moved across the globe and only recently begun getting paid, I agreed.

The first couple of days were cool. Mostly sleeping much of the day, then sitting on the beach drinking by night. There is little to no nightlife there, so it was mainly just chilling.

But we decided some poosay would be a nice addition. So we fired up the local social media app, hit the "people nearby" list, and filtered for female, and began chatting up the ladies.

Well. Most declined to meet up. They were with friends, see, and while Chinese chicks are quite easy alone, in packs it can be difficult. Had a legnthy negotiation with a hooker, who ultimately declined to come, because it bothered her that I couldn't speak chinese for some reason. Like what sort of discussion is required? Had one promising lead finally disclose that it was a dude, and he was extremely displeased that having a c0ck was a dealbreaker.

Finally met a local chick who seemed down, but alas, she had just flown out of town to a nearby city for work. Too bad.

The next day, she messages me back, and says she could fly back and hang out for a couple of days, then go back for her work. This should have been a massive red flag, but I hadn't had any in a long time, so what the hell. We agreed that I would pick her up at the airport.

I did, and we had lunch with two of her friends, both pretty attractive. They wanted to have a nice dinner, and then go to a KTV (karaoke bar where you have a private room) and sing. So I dragooned my two friends in, so as to have a pole for every hole.

We all get drunk, her friends leave, my friends are about to catch a taxi back to the condo. They ask me if I'm coming. I decide to escort the lady home, and see what happens. So we get in a cab.

Now she's a local, so I expect that we are going to her house. But we pull up at a hotel. She checks us in, and we go to a room with two beds. She gets in one, fully dressed, and tells me to sleep (you need to keep in mind throughout this story that she doesnt speak any english, I have no Chinese, and all communication is happening via translation app).

Now I may have been a simp, but even I knew that being in a hotel room the first day you meet a chick is game on. So I climb in bed with her, we promptly lose the clothes, and sexy time happens. Wake up in the morning, fock again. After, she looks at me and says "wo ai ni." After a moment of fumbling around with my app, this translates to "I love you." At this point, I have known her for about 16 hours. Red flag number 2.

So she decides she wants to show me her home village. So off we go. I meet her family (red flag number 3) who live on a duck farm in bfe. There is a quaint little ceremony at her fathers house involving incense and bowing to an altar. I will later be told by a chinese friend that this means we are married, but that was much later.

Anyway, the week ends with us in a hotel back in the city in a suite with her brother and his wife. By suite, I mean each bed is in a balcony about 20 feet apart, with no walls. She gets mad that I won't fock her with her brother 20 feet across the room, turns off her phone (and thus communication) and goes to sleep.

The next morning, I wisely, finally, am going to sneak out and go to the airport for my flight home. But she wakes up, blows me, and then gets all sad that she'll never see me again. I ask why not, and she says its too expensive for me to fly down. When I act surprised, she asks how much I make, and I, simp that I was, tell her. She now wants to be my girlfriend. Red flag No.4.

So over the next several months, we talk online. I visited her once down there, and went to her sister's wedding. She then decided to come visit me (on my dime of course). She flies up, and it being sh!tty winter, we spend most of the time in bed. I also notice, she is trying to prevent me from pulling out. I tell her to stop it, and she says she wants a blue eye baby. Red flag number 5. It is at this point that my roomate, who speaks chinese, informs me that she is telling people that I am her husband. Thats number 6 if youre keeping count.

So one night, she tells me she has to tell me something. I have noticed that no good conversation with a woman has ever begun that way, so I tense up.

Now I knew she had been a member of the Chinese Army. I'd seen her uniform. I knew she spoke fluent korean. But now she proceeds to tell me that she was an active member of army intelligence, that she had worked with North Korea, and was now working with Vietnam (the island her home is on is off the coast of vietnam, and also has top secret submarine bases or something). She tells me she knows kung fu and has a gun and has killed people. She tells me that a small scar she had is a knife wound from some james bond type sh!t.

Now, this is not good. It likely isn't true, and shes just a psycho. Or it is true, and thats really bad. Either way is not good.

She leaves. We have plans for me to go down there a month later. Ticket is already bought, and I'm an idiot, so I go.

On this trip, on my last night, she tells me that her superiors know all about me, they are cool with it, she wants to get married, blah blah. She also informs me she needs surgery, and it costs a lot of money, can I help her with it, and asks me for about $1k US a month, going forward. Then she tells me that she is going to her spy boss place to quit. I should go back to her plave and sleep. I do. So wake up at her place at 3am. She isnt there. I message her. Apparently, they wont let her leave until the boss comes. My flight is early, so I tell her that I'll get to the airport myself and talk to her later. Even my dumb ass has fully realized I have to get the hell out of this mess by now. And yes, I realized at this point that she was basically a hooker, and was probably at a clients house that night.

So I fly home. After consulting with the brain trust, we decide on a plan of action. Unfortunately, she is crazy and knows where I live, so ghosting is not an option. So I tell her that my mother is terminally ill, and I have to go home and care for her. I even send video I had on my phone of me in the airport back home. I only talk to her at times that I would be awake in America for a couple of days. Then I ghost her.

She stalked me for three years after that. Had to change my phone number and block her on social media. Once she called my office, and my assistant yelled at her in Chinese. Months later, my friend who was with me when I met her showed me a group chat of her and the other two girls. Apparently he was also in it, but they forgot he was there. In the group chat, it became clear that these chicks were more or less hookers who scammed tourists out of money.

But in my case, all told, I banged her dozens of times over months for basically the cost of flights and meals. I would have agreed to more than that up front on a straight up hooker scenario anyway.

And if I haven't made it clear, yes, I know I was pathetic and a moron. But it was good cheap fun in the end, so no harm done. I like to think I've learned since then.

[Brad GLuckman 518]

Titans, that is one hell of a story. Sure beats sitting in Tennessee with a wife that doesnt put out. Good on you for making the move to China.

[FlyinHeadlock 459]

It is really sideways? I always wondered. I did go out with a Chinese girl a few times. She was hot but I don't know, I just don't think they age well and she was a little older, maybe 5 years. If she was younger maybe but you could already tell in her late 20's and the tread was starting to wear  thin. 

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

3 hours ago, FlyinHeadlock said:

It is really sideways? I always wondered. I did go out with a Chinese girl a few times. She was hot but I don't know, I just don't think they age well and she was a little older, maybe 5 years. If she was younger maybe but you could already tell in her late 20's and the tread was starting to wear  thin. 

No, it isn't really sideways. Generally, you'd never be able to tell anyway, as it's hidden by dense black diaper bush. 

[KayJay1971 238]

12 hours ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

No, it isn't really sideways. Generally, you'd never be able to tell anyway, as it's hidden by dense black diaper bush. 

[The Elevator Killer 497]

I had a couple of stories, but none can compare to Titan marrying a spy hooker. 

[KayJay1971 238]

3 minutes ago, The Elevator Killer said:

I had a couple of stories, but none can compare to Titan marrying a spy hooker. 

NINJA spy hooker.