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jerryskids

I have Cancer :/ -- still doing well

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Update#@!~

After much analysis and deliberation, I've decided to move forward with the surgery.  Date is Tuesday 9/29, after which I won't have a voice box, I'll breathe through a hole in my neck, and I may have a flap of chest muscle stuffed up into my throat to patch the area they take out.  LOOK AT MEEEEEEE!!!!!!  Or don't, it doesn't sound very attractive.

Bottom line was twofold.  One, the survival rates are higher with the surgery.  Part of that is a better way to minimize metastasis throughout my body, which if that were to happen... no bueno.  I was looking for someone to tell me otherwise, but in the end, data is data.  Two, the amount of radiation required to get all of this thing would fry the shiot out of my throat including vocal cords, which might not survive and require similar surgery with a radiation-fried throat. It would also likely cause aspiration (food getting into my lungs) which could cause pneumonia, also no bueno.

I'll say more later but wanted to get this out there.

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Thinking positive thoughts Jerry.  Understand it's a tough one man.   Thinking of you, hope it all turns out as best as can be hoped for.

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Wow Jerry. You're making the right decision, as hard as it is to make. But time with your family is more important than what you will lose. And for anyone put off by the effects of the surgery, Fock them and everyone that looks like them. Thoughts and prayers. 

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Fuuuuuccccckkkkkk.  That's a b1tch of a call, but like you said the data is pointing you towards the course of action with the best results. 

I'm sure technology nowadays will allow you to use whatever electronic celebrity voice you want. That could be fun as you could fock with people over the phone.  Gotta look for that silver lining.

Best of luck!!! 

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God damn it man. I'm sitting here crying. It's really shity of you. Cancer-ridden bastard.

 

Fock I wish I was there with you. I hope it goes as well as it can.

 

Wiff

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43 minutes ago, Alias Detective said:

 No big deal.  You will rise above this.

Would you consider a support group for folks who had this procedure.  

You mean like Darth Vader and Ned from South Park?

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17 minutes ago, wiffleball said:

You mean like Darth Vader and Ned from South Park?

I know this is nowhere near the decision Jerry is making but I had to decide to have a dogs leg amputated or rehabilitated.  Had I seen dogs not only survive, but prosper as a tripod, my decision would have been a lot easier.

 

 

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Good luck buddy, sounds like you are making the right call for the long haul. Hang in there man you’ll beat this. 

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Thanks for all of the comments.  I can't reply to all but a few for now:

5 hours ago, The Elevator Killer said:

Wow Jerry. You're making the right decision, as hard as it is to make. But time with your family is more important than what you will lose. And for anyone put off by the effects of the surgery, Fock them and everyone that looks like them. Thoughts and prayers. 

I'm not exactly PLANNING to die yet, but yeah, I feel like I can rest easier knowing that I took the path that maximizes the odds of life with my family.  I feel oddly at peace with it at the moment, but the time leading up to the decision was quite stressful.  

Also, my daughter is quite creative and is studying fashion.  We've already got some ideas of clothing mods to modify the visual impact.  It could be quite a bonding experience with her.

5 hours ago, DonS said:

Fuuuuuccccckkkkkk.  That's a b1tch of a call, but like you said the data is pointing you towards the course of action with the best results. 

I'm sure technology nowadays will allow you to use whatever electronic celebrity voice you want. That could be fun as you could fock with people over the phone.  Gotta look for that silver lining.

Best of luck!!! 

They will insert something called a TEP (Trans-Esophageal Prosthetic) that is basically a diaphragm between my trachea and esophagus.  When I talk, air will push through it and through my mouth/nose.  It will be speaking, although not my voice.  Interestingly, videos I've seen indicate that people maintain their accents if they have them, so apparently that is dictated by the way your mouf forms words.  So I may sound a little like myself.

There is nothing electronic there, but as an electrical engineer I've started mulling on an invention that could modify the diaphragm opening (like your for real vocal cords).

I will also have one of those boxes that you put up against your throat to talk like a robot.  I'm told the TEP is imperfect and prone to clogging, so people carry it around as a backup.

3 hours ago, Alias Detective said:

 No big deal.  You will rise above this.

Would you consider a support group for folks who had this procedure.  

I will likely join such a group.  I expect to be the youngest or darn near, which might not be awesome.  I might not have folks to discuss topics like how did you continue work?  We'll see.

Speaking of work, my boss knows and continues to be supportive.  I'm going to play by ear how I feel after I recover from surgery, but the default is to hop back into it.  I don't want to just sit around if I feel OK.  :dunno:

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2 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

 

Also, my daughter is quite creative and is studying fashion.  We've already got some ideas of clothing mods to modify the visual impact.  It could be quite a bonding experience with her.

As a GC billionaire you should already have a large selection of ascots to choose from.  If you want to change things up then you could rock a pimp hat and feather boa.

Good to hear you're making plans.  Your journey makes my experience seem like child's play.  Punch that cancer wh0re right in her filthy wh0re mouf.

 

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I admire your attitude, Jerry. I wish i had your positivity and ability to cope. Definitely something I need to work on. We could all learn a thing or two from you. 

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I told Jerry earlier about my friend who smoked himself into throat cancer and out of his vocal chords. He holds a device up to his neck and pushes a button that allows him to speak. Like I said then, he sounds like a robotic Darth Vader when he speaks. When talking to someone new over the phone, they ask him all the time if they are speaking to an answering machine. 
 

This isn’t my friend but this is what that looks like:
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mynameisearl/images/7/7e/ElectrolarynxGuy.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20090403060421

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Damn, sorry to hear that man. :(

You made the right call for you and your family. Hoping for the best for all of you. 

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17 hours ago, Alias Detective said:

I know this is nowhere near the decision Jerry is making but I had to decide to have a dogs leg amputated or rehabilitated.  Had I seen dogs not only survive, but prosper as a tripod, my decision would have been a lot easier.

 

 

That's crazy. I had to get my dog a voicebox. Now every time someone walks By I hear 

MmmmNyark!  mmmmmNyark!

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11 hours ago, Brad GLuckman said:

I admire your attitude, Jerry. I wish i had your positivity and ability to cope. Definitely something I need to work on. We could all learn a thing or two from you. 

Ditto x 200

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Damn...wishing the best for you, jerry. Sounds like the right call - get every ounce of that sh!t out of your body as quickly and efficiently as possible. Good luck. Hope everything works out as well as possible.

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I have very little experience with empathy, but I wanted to give it a try.

I am sorry for what you are going through and I'm devastated that this is not happening to NewbieJr instead. Fock that guy. My prayers are with you. Not with NewbieJr, because, fock that guy. Also, I hope those idiots in Arizona don't force you to wear a second mask for your throat.

OK, rereading, I think that's a get well card worthy message. :thumbsup:

HTH. WWC29D? GFIAP. MKB4. Gutterboy on top of a cat. :dunno:

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Questions Jerry. 

- How are you feeling?

- What's your day to day like at this point?  Are you still working, bedridden, preparing for surgery, or other?

-  Any update, or do we wait until after surgery on 9/29? 

- Have you designated someone to update us after surgery since you probably won't be up to it? 

I realize we're just random dudes/chicks on a low rent FF message bored, but we care :)

 

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I was also wondering what type of plans if any he had this last week before the surgery.  I'm assuming he's drunk at some dive Chinese karaoke bar.  

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On 9/17/2020 at 2:01 PM, jerryskids said:

Update#@!~

After much analysis and deliberation, I've decided to move forward with the surgery.  Date is Tuesday 9/29, after which I won't have a voice box, I'll breathe through a hole in my neck, and I may have a flap of chest muscle stuffed up into my throat to patch the area they take out.  LOOK AT MEEEEEEE!!!!!!  Or don't, it doesn't sound very attractive.

Bottom line was twofold.  One, the survival rates are higher with the surgery.  Part of that is a better way to minimize metastasis throughout my body, which if that were to happen... no bueno.  I was looking for someone to tell me otherwise, but in the end, data is data.  Two, the amount of radiation required to get all of this thing would fry the shiot out of my throat including vocal cords, which might not survive and require similar surgery with a radiation-fried throat. It would also likely cause aspiration (food getting into my lungs) which could cause pneumonia, also no bueno.

I'll say more later but wanted to get this out there.

You're a smart guy Jerry and I am glad you went with the data. Survival rate is the most important stat and although this surgery may be life altering, you need to choose the option that gives you the best chance of surviving.  I kind of figured that you would come around to the surgery once you weighed the options. I'm sure your wife felt that way as well. 

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Just now, Strike said:

Questions Jerry. 

 

- How are you feeling? -- Physically, quite good.  Since they "debulked" it (took out the big ping pong ball) I'm getting better oxygen.  My biggest concern is the ever growing lymph nodes and possibility of metastasis.  No matter what happens, after surgery I'll feel good that those fockers are gone.

- What's your day to day like at this point?  Are you still working, bedridden, preparing for surgery, or other? -- I'm still working, although this week is just wrapping up loose ends.  Boss continues to be supportive, and yesterday offered again to get me an IPad which I accepted this time.  I told our Engineering Director my scoop yesterday; good guy who I've become good acquaintances with in the past few months.  As I expected, I will be the one consoling the people I tell, because they have no idea going into the conversation and it takes them by surprise.  I told my boss for sure I'll be out two weeks, but it is lining up to be more or less out until after the whole shebang (radiation etc.).  We had an educational meeting yesterday which hammered home some of the reality.  Seeing all of the equipment was sobering.  Also they probably won't let me even try to talk with the robot thing for weeks, to let everything heal.  And I doubt I'll sound like Frank Sinatra the first time I try.

Last Friday I spent with my 3 best friends from my taekwondo days; we still keep in touch and remain good friends but don't get together as a group that often.  Saturday and Sunday I went up to Prescott to meet up with my brother (drove from Vegas), we golfed, kayaked, and hiked.  Also ate delicious food at a place called El Gato Azul (The Blue Cat) which specializes in tapas.  Enjoying food has been one of my bigger "preparations" as I won't be eating at all for weeks, and food will never be quite the same I expect (I can't actively inhale any more, and smell is a big part of taste).  To that end, and being a father who wants quality time with his kids before surgery, I'm having a one on one daddy/son or daughter dinner each of W/Th/F this week. 

I'm not really as concerned about the surgery as I maybe should be; I'm more trying to experience things I won't be able to post surgery.  I'll swim some this week for instance.  Also play my trumpet one last time (I don't really play it except maybe once a year to embarrass my kids at this point, but that won't happen again).  I need to find a landscaper to scalp my grass and plant winter rye.  Stuff like that.

-  Any update, or do we wait until after surgery on 9/29? -- Nothing else I can think of.  I've got a meeting with the speech pathologist tomorrow.  She looks kinda cute from her Mayo pic, will advise on can size.  Otherwise it is one week from today.

- Have you designated someone to update us after surgery since you probably won't be up to it? -- My wife will do it, but we need to figure out the logistics.  Surgery day will be long so she probably won't prioritize posting here.  I may give her @Bier Meister's number as the three of us met in Napa, if he gets this bat signal and is up for being the messenger.  I asked her this morning and she jokingly said she could sign up for her own account, and I said a loving NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  :D  Which leads me to...

I realize we're just random dudes/chicks on a low rent FF message bored, but we care :) -- ... I know you do and I appreciate it.  I cannot tell you how cathartic it has been to have you misfit toys available to dump all of this on and discuss things with.  :cheers:

 

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7 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

 

I realize we're just random dudes/chicks on a low rent FF message bored, but we care :) -- ... I know you do and I appreciate it.  I cannot tell you how cathartic it has been to have you misfit toys available to dump all of this on and discuss things with.  :cheers:

 

It is quite amazing how we can use this bored just to sound off on at times like these.  :cheers:

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33 minutes ago, fandandy said:

I was also wondering what type of plans if any he had this last week before the surgery.  I'm assuming he's drunk at some dive Chinese karaoke bar.  

I love sushi, and two of my three kids meals I mentioned will be sushi.  Son will be a steak place.  I forgot to mention that my wife and I are celebrating our anniversary early on Saturday (actual day is 10/9 but I probably won't be in a position to celebrate.  Best case I'll be able to drink a slushy on my own.)  We are going to a French place we've wanted to try, which is also a wine bar.  We haven't had a drop since August started but my wife said yesterday that she won't mind if I want to have wine with the dinner.  I honestly haven't decided at this point.  Typing this though, and realizing that my taste may never be quite the same, I may have some, since wine is one of my larger life enjoyments.  :cheers:

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5 minutes ago, Bier Meister said:

:(  it's not going there dammit!

The plan would be to tell you I'm out of surgery and doing OK.  :mellow:

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4 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

I love sushi, and two of my three kids meals I mentioned will be sushi.  Son will be a steak place.  I forgot to mention that my wife and I are celebrating our anniversary early on Saturday (actual day is 10/9 but I probably won't be in a position to celebrate.  Best case I'll be able to drink a slushy on my own.)  We are going to a French place we've wanted to try, which is also a wine bar.  We haven't had a drop since August started but my wife said yesterday that she won't mind if I want to have wine with the dinner.  I honestly haven't decided at this point.  Typing this though, and realizing that my taste may never be quite the same, I may have some, since wine is one of my larger life enjoyments.  :cheers:

DRINK THE WINE!!!!  Enjoy it while you can. 

Probably goes without saying but you'll most likely need to avoid spicy and acidic food for awhile afterwards.  Not sure if pure surgery will do as much damage, but after radiation it took me a long time before I could use hot sauce again. 

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1 minute ago, DonS said:

DRINK THE WINE!!!!  Enjoy it while you can.

Agree with this 100 percent, especially if you're not sure the experience will ever be the same again after surgery.

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3 hours ago, jerryskids said:

The plan would be to tell you I'm out of surgery and doing OK.  :mellow:

Awaiting this.  Thinking of you, friend. 

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Jerry I appreciate the updates man.  I genuinely, totally and sincerely wish you all the best and hope you pull out of this with as much good as can be expected, more would be better.

Good luck dude.  

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Don't have the words man. Just wishing you the very best.

 

 

But I can't I help wondering, didn't you get divorced?

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11 hours ago, wiffleball said:

Don't have the words man. Just wishing you the very best.

 

 

But I can't I help wondering, didn't you get divorced?

Nope, happily married, you must be thinking of somebody else.  :dunno:  

BTW to all, I decided to enjoy the alcohol while I can, so last night I had one of my favorite drinks:  an old fashioned with a local bourbon (well, Prescott) called Thumb Butte.  I expect to have good wine or good whiskey every night until Monday.  Although I should work in a Negroni which I really like, except we don't have any gin at the moment, so we'll see.  :cheers:

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