Joke inside...caution

[Cloaca du jour 2,064]

what was george floyds favorite color?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Neon

[Mike Isles 583]

That’s gold Jerry. Gold. 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

I was looking for Craig Ferguson doing the joke dance on youtube but couldn't find it. You will have to settle for hot girls dancing in kilts and guys rocking out on guitars.

 

[Djgb13 2,338]

 

[Utilit99 4,099]

George Floyd who?

[fricker66 91]

Hate the joke, but love the hot Scots.

[MTSkiBum 1,593]

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.

[JustinCharge 2,397]

I heard this one recently:

I like my covid like I like my women.  19 and easily spread.

[Gladiators 1,904]

2 minutes ago, riversco said:

I heard this one recently:

I like my covid like I like my women.  19 and easily spread.

[Cdub100 3,379]

30 minutes ago, MTSkiBum said:

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.

There's no punchline 

[Mike Isles 583]

2 hours ago, MTSkiBum said:

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.

This should be expanded into The Aristocrats !!!

[JustinCharge 2,397]

WARNING:  the following is 18+ content.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

++++++++++++++++++

[Cloaca du jour 2,064]

26 minutes ago, riversco said:

WARNING:  the following is 18+ content.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

++++++++++++++++++

Truth in advertising!!

[easilyscan 558]

Here's one of the most twisted jokes I ever heard.

 

Johnny is a sophomore in high school. He's always been reserved/shy & rarely smiles.

One day he comes home from school grinning/smiling ear to ear. His mother, who’s in the kitchen preparing dinner, immediately notices.

So nice to see you smiling Johnny, what's the good news ? I don't know if I should tell you Mom ?

Go ahead Johnny, I'm dying to know.

 

Well mom, I had sex with my English teacher today!

The mother is so shocked she has to hold onto the counter with both hands to steady herself.

 

When the wave of shock dissipates, she starts yelling at the top of her lungs, this is wrong Johnny, you're only a sophomore in high school

how could you let this happen ? How could your teacher let this happen ?

Get up to your room right now! Just wait till your father gets home!

 

About an hour later, Johnny hears his dad's car pull into the driveway.

A couple minutes later he hears his mother yelling like she did earlier. Surprisingly, his father isn't yelling ?

Five minutes later, as he hears his father's footsteps on the stairs, he literally starts to tremble.

The door swings open & his father says….I heard you had an interesting day at school Johnny……..

Johnny starts to apologize saying I didn't know it was wrong Dad, I'm so sorry.

 

His father moves in closer, & suddenly his stern face relaxes into a huge smile.

Give me a high 5 Johnny, you become a man today, & with your English teacher no less!

 

All the tension & fear oozes out of Johnny in an instant. Oh Dad, I'm so glad you approve. I thought you were going to kill me!

You have nothing to worry about Johnny, we’ll get through this.

Thanks dad!

 

As a matter of fact son, after dinner, I'm going to take you over to Walmart & buy you that mountain bike you’ve wanted for over a year now.

That's great dad, & I really appreciate it, but could I get the Tom Brady autographed football instead, my ass is killing me!

[Mike Isles 583]

Long story short. 
 

chick comes home and mom sees rice in her daughters hair. She asks honey did you get married ? Daughter replies - no I was blowing a chink and he puked when he blew his load.