How do I get killer abs?

[t.j. booker 206]

My new year’s resolution is to get killer abs and swole “guns” but I don’t know where to start. I’m not much for exercise except occasionally walking to the Chuck-a-Rama and lifting my dumbbell. I can’t do much more on account of my glandular problem.

You Geeks are all in peak physical condition. How do I get started on being buff?  

[edjr 5,547]

 

[jerryskids 5,169]

I find that motivation can be very helpful with exercise.  In your case, I would hang a double quarter pounder with cheese just above your reach on the floor.  Then lay flat, sit up, and reach for it.  Do 3 sets of 10.  When you are done reward yourself by engulfing the sammich.  You’ll still be a crapper busting fatty, but under all of that fat you will be on your way to developing a 6-pack.   

[IGotWorms 3,302]

You hold Gloria up while she gets DP’d from the “standing” position

[TBayXXXVII 2,107]

1 hour ago, t.j. booker said:

My new year’s resolution is to get killer abs and swole “guns” but I don’t know where to start. I’m not much for exercise except occasionally walking to the Chuck-a-Rama and lifting my dumbbell. I can’t do much more on account of my glandular problem.

You Geeks are all in peak physical condition. How do I get started on being buff?  

What's your starting point... age, height, weight, BMI (if you know it)?  If you're not in "good" shape or over 40, I wouldn't recommend shooting for "killer abs".  It'll probably do more harm than good.

[t.j. booker 206]

34 minutes ago, TBayXXXVII said:

What's your starting point... age, height, weight, BMI (if you know it)?  If you're not in "good" shape or over 40, I wouldn't recommend shooting for "killer abs".  It'll probably do more harm than good.

42 years old, 5’6, 320 lbs. I’m not sure about BMI but my doctor said I could lose a few pounds.

 

[tubby_mcgee 686]

Low body fat. (toughest part, probably requires drugs depending on your age)

Work the fock out of your abs (easiest part).

Done.

[Fireballer 2,369]

Squats, deadlifts, get to 10% BF.  Don't waste time on actually abdominal isolation exercises.  If you can squat 350+ and deadlift 405, you have abs.

[MDC 5,877]

27 minutes ago, Fireballer said:

Squats, deadlifts, get to 10% BF.  Don't waste time on actually abdominal isolation exercises.  If you can't squat 350+ and deadlift 405, you have abs.

I can’t squat 350+ or deadlift 405, and I don’t have abs.  

[Fireballer 2,369]

2 minutes ago, MDC said:

I can’t squat 350+ or deadlift 405, and I don’t have abs.  

[Strike 3,949]

Get trained by these guys:

 

[Mookz 1,287]

t.j., there's only one scientifically-proven way to get the body you desire, and that's with the Prancercise series of VHS tapes:

 

[TBayXXXVII 2,107]

46 minutes ago, t.j. booker said:

42 years old, 5’6, 320 lbs. I’m not sure about BMI but my doctor said I could lose a few pounds.

 

In order to start seeing muscular definition, you'll need to be around 10% bodyfat.  As a frame of reference, athletes at their peak, are generally between 6-13%.  At your height and weight, you're probably sitting around 50% bodyfat.  A healthy rate to drop bodyfat is approximately 1 to 2% per month.  You need to drop 40%, so you're talking about anywhere from 26 to 40 months.  That's a LOT of dedication.  For someone of your size, you should probably take the slow route because you're first goal should be cardiovascular and diet to get you down to a more manageable weight.  You don't want to do any heavy lifting / high impact exercising at your current size, you'll only end up hurting yourself and taking even longer to get to where you want to be... and end up not even getting there.

The one thing you absolutely need to avoid is the yo-yo effect.  Once people lose weight, they start cheating.  You need to make a true lifestyle change on how you eat and exercise and you have to stick to it.  That's why I say to take the long term approach.  I'd also recommend NOT trying to get "Killer abs", but a healthier and slimmer body.  Like I said, start with eliminating saturated fat from your diet as well as simple sugars.  Your doctor knows more about your health, check with him/her about what foods you should eat more and less of.  The most important thing you have to maintain during body transformation attempts, is healthy bones and joints.  Your back and legs will have a much easier time helping you achieve your goals if you're not putting undue stress on them.

Before you do any real weight training, get down to about 30% bodyfat.  Start with a manageable diet to ease you in to a healthier lifestyle and walk on soft surfaces like grass.  My suggestion is to find a park and look for soccer fields and walk a couple of laps.  You should start with a low intensity cardio program.  Do thinks like yoga and Pilates that get your heart pumping, but not overly aggressively as well as training your body at it's core, which is the area you're really targeting.  Stick with this until you get around 40% body fat.  Take your time and get there.  Set small short term goals as it's easier to go up the hill in front of you if don't stare at the mountain behind it.

[Strike 3,949]

I love it when people take these threads seriously

[TBayXXXVII 2,107]

1 minute ago, Strike said:

I love it when people take these threads seriously

Just trying to help.

[Kopy 489]

2 hours ago, t.j. booker said:

42 years old, 5’6, 320 lbs. I’m not sure about BMI but my doctor said I could lose a few pounds.

 

You're closer to Jabba the Hutt than 6 pack ab man.

I'd just go the other way.

 

[jerryskids 5,169]

5 hours ago, IGotWorms said:

You hold Gloria up while she gets DP’d from the “standing” position

You are onto something here.  Maybe TB can put together some isometric exercises where he supports Gloria in various positions while other guys satisfy her.  Seeing that smile on her face should motivate him.

[Reality 2,710]

2 hours ago, Strike said:

I love it when people take these threads seriously

Right...

[t.j 35]

7 hours ago, t.j. booker said:

My new year’s resolution is to get killer abs and swole “guns” but I don’t know where to start. I’m not much for exercise except occasionally walking to the Chuck-a-Rama and lifting my dumbbell. I can’t do much more on account of my glandular problem.

You Geeks are all in peak physical condition. How do I get started on being buff?  

I'ma sue you for handle copyright infringement.

[stonewall 647]

7 hours ago, t.j. booker said:

42 years old, 5’6, 320 lbs

I'd kindly recommend a different resolution.

Any good Sumo wrestling instructors in your area?

An honorable pursuit, and you could set your sights on winning your first hon-basho before 2021 expires.

[Big Guy 1,400]

you'd have to alter the cake to exercise ratio

[BeenHereBefore 1,329]

My close friend is 52 and has decent abs. He works out but don't train them much and he is probably at 10% body fat. That is basically it get your body fat down and don't even need to train them much, besides other exercises work them like triceps push downs and etc.

[Mookz 1,287]

Technically you could have killer abs if you were to roll over onto, and smother, an infant.  

[tubby_mcgee 686]

1 hour ago, Big Guy said:

you'd have to alter the cake to exercise ratio

[peenie 1,690]

17 hours ago, Mookz said:

Technically you could have killer abs if you were to roll over onto, and smother, an infant.  

I am at work and laughed at loud at this! 

[OldMaid 1,838]

Die and hope you get reincarnated as Chris Hemsworth. 

[IGotWorms 3,302]

On 12/28/2020 at 3:48 PM, BeenHereBefore said:

My close friend is 52 and has decent abs. He works out but don't train them much and he is probably at 10% body fat. That is basically it get your body fat down and don't even need to train them much, besides other exercises work them like triceps push downs and etc.

Your friend is taking testosterone. Lots and lots of it

[BeenHereBefore 1,329]

5 hours ago, IGotWorms said:

Your friend is taking testosterone. Lots and lots of it

He has and it help him get them but he's been off it for a few years and kept them. He just keeps up with the gym now.

[EternalShinyAndChrome 2,493]

On 12/28/2020 at 9:22 AM, t.j. booker said:

My new year’s resolution is to get killer abs and swole “guns” but I don’t know where to start. I’m not much for exercise except occasionally walking to the Chuck-a-Rama and lifting my dumbbell. I can’t do much more on account of my glandular problem.

You Geeks are all in peak physical condition. How do I get started on being buff?  

You can get it on amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Jillian-Michaels-Killer-Abs/dp/B008BRLZEO