Life/College advice for teens

[Fireballer 2,367]

My oldest is a 10th grader right now.  She gets great grades, no sports, and does some extracurricular clubs and stuff.  I need some help giving her some life/school advice.  I know that we have alot of professional and HR geeks here that can give better advice than me.  My wife and I are both blue collar, and finished our degrees while working.

I just don't know what to tell her about college.  Really, how important is it what school someone goes to nowadays? We've got college costs pretty well in hand if she goes in state, but obviously out of state won't be cheap. I hear so many stories about kids not getting jobs in their respective areas of study and end up with a trade or work in retail, real estate, or something else you could actually do without a degree. Knowing what you know as a professional and through life experience, what advice would you give teens facing college decisions?  To me, at the end of the day, everyone has to back up their education with work ethic to be successful no matter what school you attended.

 

[Mike Honcho 4,000]

No matter what...always wear comfortable shoes.  

[Bier Meister 1,512]

We are in a similar position.... freshman daughter, straight A’s, cheer squad, community service.
 

she initially wanted to go towards photo journalism.  Recently thinking more about kinesiology, medicine. We are encouraging other  clubs, internships, a sport. We also do not want to burn her out 

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Avoid liberal arts.

School won’t matter after 5 years from graduation. Getting honors will matter more. Some schools have great networking opportunities for jobs with alumni and classmates. 

She needs to decide what she likes, and choose a good school for that. However, kids change their majors many times and it is no big deal. 
 

It can be a good idea to have kids take out some loans so they have some skin in the game.

My youngest is just getting acceptances now and he isn’t going far enough away for my liking.  

[Strike 3,934]

1)   What do you want to do after high school?  It doesn't have to be college and not all careers require an expensive college degree.  So that's first.

2)  Don't get in to massive debt.  Even if you expect to make a lot of money off the degree having massive debt creates a lot of stress, and that high paying job isn't guaranteed.

The biggest thing is figuring out what you want to do before committing to something that costs a lot of money.  One of my brother's best friend's didn't know what he wanted to do after high school so he went to the local junior college.  Took care of his GE and took classes in a number of areas he thought he might be interested in.  Once he figured out what he wanted to do he transferred to a 4 year school to finish out his degree. 

And lastly.....

 

[Cdub100 3,366]

Where you go to college doesn't really matter.

The people you meet there can shape your life though. 

Tell her not to lose herself there. Many kids go off to college only to come back brainwashed.

Don't be afraid to take risks.

Start a Roth IRA and put money into it every paycheck. If she's working

Don't worry about picking the perfect major. Unless she wants to be a teacher or some other specialized field.

Take internships seriously and do as many as she can.

Professors are not Gods. Most of them have never left school or have old work experiences. Take what they say about the outside world with a grain of salt.

Enjoy the time you are in school

DO NOT skip classes or leave early. You are paying a lot of money to be there.

ALWAYS read the syllabus and follow it.

 

 

[Fireballer 2,367]

2 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

 

School won’t matter after 5 years from graduation. 

Thats what I'm worried about.  I've worked hard and have been lucky to be promoted a few times.  Here I am, a guy with a patchwork degree, and I'm supervising some guys with Master's and they still have crazy debt.

[posty 2,295]

What does she want to do in life?

[MTSkiBum 1,593]

My wife and I both went to crappy, cheap schools and have been promoted ahead of people from more prestigious universities.

 

The school does not matter at all, the degree does though. With a chemical engineering degree I can work in many fields. It was no issue moving into software. Where as someone with a computer science degree cannot move into chemical engineering.

[Fireballer 2,367]

8 minutes ago, posty said:

What does she want to do in life?

She has no idea.  She loves music and plays piano and guitar really well.  Other than that, its up in the air.

[RLLD 3,455]

My kids have been through it a bit, the eldest was the athlete and recruited by over 36 schools, but there is very little money for kids who are not. Our chip football or basketball stars.

the big money is in scholarships, and there is tons of it out there, start research now, go after everything, it’s amazing just how much you can capture.

do not go to the big popular schools, complete waste of money, find something inexpensive and just get that undergrad, he’ll even if it’s in general studies that is fine, then specialize with the masters degree. There are a small set of labor categories that want the undergrad to be technical if the masters is, but that’s not the norm

Staying on campus is ok, so long as it’s not some liberal school with sjw focus, stay far away from that sh1t

[Rusty Syringes 478]

My sons getting jobs was huge for them.

Rusty II is autistic, and a few years ago Temple Grandin, who advocates for those with autism, came to speak at our community. She is autistic herself and invented some kind of cattle chute that made her rich and famous. Claire Danes portrayed her in a movie years ago, which isn't all that accurate because Grandin looks like the Wicked Witch of the West without the green.

Anyway, we get to the event early, and Grandin is by herself and setting up books to sell later. I walked Rusty II up to her, and without so much as a hello, she somehow knew immediately that he was autistic. She walked up to him, stuck her bony finger in his face and said, "YOU NEED TO GET A JOB. YOU NEED TO PUT DOWN THE VIDEO GAMES AND GET A JOB. "

Rusty II just stood there going: 

Meanwhile, I was laughing my ass off.

He was 15 at the time, and the only place that would hire a 15-year-old was Chic-Fil-A, and he managed to get a job there.

It was one of the best things ever for him. The work ethic he learned there was applied to the house, where he'd do dishes, take out the trash clean floors and other chores without being asked.

StepRusty, who was 16 at the time, didn't want to get a job. I stayed on him about it until I'd had enough and said I was cutting off his phone and turning off the Internet for huge chunks of the day. A few days later he got a job at a grocery store as a checker, and he absolutely focking loved it. He'd come home and tell funny stories about stuff at work and customers. And he learned that making money is pretty cool as well. He's in his second year of college and loves having a job where he is.

Once Rusty III turned 16, he didn't need to be asked to get a job. He just went out and got one at a restaurant, where the managers were asshats. But he stuck it out through the summer and learned about work ethic and good managers vs. bad ones. A real life lesson there. 

So working and being involved in school stuff is the best medicine for teenagers. And them talking about the stuff opens the door for me to talk about my experiences and pass along some life lessons, stuff I wish I had known at their age, like not putting up with soul-sucking jerks like I did all too often in the media.

[Gladiators 1,900]

You hit the nail on the head. Being smart and having strong work ethic is number 1. Top school with top grades will likely lead to the highest paying job in the respective field, but she probably won’t be happy. Most companies that pay top dollar for the top talent put you through the ringer.

If she’s smart and works hard, she can do whatever she wants and can make a good living. I’d recommend after college that she find a company with high employee retention.

I hate the hiring process. If I find someone who is smart, works hard, fits in, and does a good job, I will pay them more than market value. We have excellent employee retention.

[frank 2,143]

“This song is very good advice for the adolescent of today. Stay out of jail.”

 

 

[Hardcore troubadour 12,556]

Dont be a who-re. 

[Bert 1,087]

2 hours ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

Avoid liberal arts.

School won’t matter after 5 years from graduation. Getting honors will matter more. Some schools have great networking opportunities for jobs with alumni and classmates. 

She needs to decide what she likes, and choose a good school for that. However, kids change their majors many times and it is no big deal. 
 

It can be a good idea to have kids take out some loans so they have some skin in the game.

My youngest is just getting acceptances now and he isn’t going far enough away for my liking.  

I agree with this.

Also, the notion of doing what you love is a pipe dream in most cases if you also want to make money.  Find something you can tolerate that pays well.  I wanted to be a chef but working at the Houston Country Club in college taught me those guys work way to hard for what they make and the competition is insane.  

[jerryskids 5,154]

As others have said, stick with your state schools, they are more than good enough.  

STEM including health care are where all of the opportunities are.  I disagree with @MTSkiBum — Chemical Engineering is arguably the hardest major at a university; computer science is (relatively) much easier and you can work, well, just about anywhere.

[JustinCharge 2,397]

I don't know anything about her except she doesn't know what to do with her life. 

The general rule is whatever a child is exposed to around age 12, that becomes their passion for their entire life.   She is past that age now, so whatever it was is very likely set in stone.  Do you know what that is?  Hopefully not piano and guitar.

[bandrus1 413]

Attend a research university over a college at all costs. 

Life experiences like "I need the full college experience" is never worth the money.

Take summer classes to lighten the load during the semester

Work a part time job at school

 

 

 

 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

You'll also need to figure out if she would prefer working for someone else or starting her own business.

[frank 2,143]

3 hours ago, Fireballer said:

She has no idea.  She loves music and plays piano and guitar really well.  Other than that, its up in the air.

It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll. 

[frank 2,143]

3 hours ago, posty said:

What does she want to do in life?

I wanna rock.

 

[jerryskids 5,154]

1 hour ago, bandrus1 said:

Attend a research university over a college at all costs. 

Life experiences like "I need the full college experience" is never worth the money.

Take summer classes to lighten the load during the semester

Work a part time job at school

 

 

 

 

Interesting; while I mostly agree, I meant to mention that if you attend a local in-state university, I would still have her live away from home if financially possible.  I think kids learn a lot living on their own in a relatively low-risk environment.  

I also agree with the job, within reason.  If the kid has a tough STEM semester, it may be best to focus on school.  Definitely work in the summer, take out some loans, and contribute to the funding.  Another excellent life lessons.  Suddenly some of those less-valuable degrees don’t seem so interesting if you are footing part of the bill and don’t see a path to recouping the money.

Research university is great advice, again depending on the major.  Although there are excellent jobs for technicians in STEM including health care.  During my cancer journey I have been amazed at how many jobs are available in healthcare.  But those tech jobs tend to be more “jobs” than “careers.”

I don’t mean to disparage trades, those are fantastic pursuits.  But if his daughter has great grades, at least in AZ, that gets you pretty much a free (tuition) ride at ASU/UofA/NAU.  So I would look into that first.

[GutterBoy 2,277]

In the same boat.  My high school senior is attending a state school.  She already chose her major, business admin, HR Mgmt.  It's a degree where she can learn a lot about, how the business world works, learn about managing people which will apply to her whole life, and there are lots of HR jobs out there.  She is living on campus to get that full grown up experience.  She didn't get awesome grades, wasn't an athlete, but had a well rounded of application of community service, work experience and good letters of recommendation.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

8 minutes ago, GutterBoy said:

In the same boat.  My high school senior is attending a state school.  She already chose her major, business admin, HR Mgmt.  It's a degree where she can learn a lot about, how the business world works, learn about managing people which will apply to her whole life, and there are lots of HR jobs out there.  She is living on campus to get that full grown up experience.  She didn't get awesome grades, wasn't an athlete, but had a well rounded of application of community service, work experience and good letters of recommendation.

HR is a good field. Have her understand data and how HR information is tracked and she will be very valuable. People that just have the soft skills are a dime-a-dozen, but those who can get things done with using data (government reporting, workflows, integrations with other systems, etc.) are in high demand.

[Drizzay 643]

Droz : Want some advice?

Tom : Well, yeah.

Droz : Well, here's all you need to know. Classes: nothing before eleven. Beer: it's your best friend, you drink a lot. Women? You're a freshman, so it's pretty much out of the question. Will you have a car?

Tom : Uh, no.

Droz : Someone on your floor will. Find them and make friends with them on the first day.

[GutterBoy 2,277]

And yes I agree that the big name schools only exist for 2 reasons, so you can boast that you went there, and so your parents can boast to their friends that you went there.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Just now, GutterBoy said:

And yes I agree that the big name schools only exist for 2 reasons, so you can boast that you went there, and so your parents can boast to their friends that you went there.

The football games and all weekend tailgating can be pretty cool too. Once you are out of school, doesn't mean much, though (unless you go back for the tailgating).  

[Hardcore troubadour 12,556]

1 minute ago, GutterBoy said:

And yes I agree that the big name schools only exist for 2 reasons, so you can boast that you went there, and so your parents can boast to their friends that you went there.

3. Networking. 

[GutterBoy 2,277]

There are football games and networking at smaller state schools as well.

[porkbutt 860]

my son has said he wanted to do a trade since he was 10 years old. he's at a tech high school now. i always ask him if he's sure about not going to college. he says 100%. i tell he has to work his a$$ off then. he's kinda an idiot but knows what he wants.

daughter is different story. awesome grades, activities, etc. hope she doesn't wanna go to some expensive liberals arts bs college. im trying to steer her into teaching. that's a racket!

HR is a good field because everyone is a lil b;tch nowadays. but you better be able to listen to everyone's bs and whining.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

1 minute ago, GutterBoy said:

There are football games and networking at smaller state schools as well.

Not the same. I did both. Started at an ACC school. Went to our games and some SEC games. Lots of fun. All sorts of parties. 

Went to state school and it was not even close. Plenty of fun, but not on the same scale. Not saying big schools are better from an education standpoint, but the social aspects can be quite a bit better.

Doesn't make me feel good as a parent, though, which is one of the reasons my kid is going to a state school.  

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

3 minutes ago, porkbutt said:

my son has said he wanted to do a trade since he was 10 years old. he's at a tech high school now. i always ask him if he's sure about not going to college. he says 100%. i tell he has to work his a$$ off then. he's kinda an idiot but knows what he wants.

daughter is different story. awesome grades, activities, etc. hope she doesn't wanna go to some expensive liberals arts bs college. im trying to steer her into teaching. that's a racket!

HR is a good field because everyone is a lil b;tch nowadays. but you better be able to listen to everyone's bs and whining.

My oldest did a trade. In the union now at 19 and he is pretty well set, so long as he doesn't fock it up. They train you, you make good money and he is doing what he always wanted to do. Trades are awesome for many people and there are lots of kids going to college who should have done a trade instead. 

[Hawkeye21 1,848]

If she's ambitious and willing to put in the work, tell her to go after scholarships.  There are usually a lot of scholarships available to students and most have no idea they exist because they don't get promoted.  Not only are kids not aware of them but a lot of kids are not willing to put in the work to earn them.  If she's willing do put the in the work then she won't have to worry much about the cost of school.

Make sure she knows that going to college is not a must in order to succeed in life.  Depending on the career she's after, experience usually trumps education.  Networking can be very important.  It's amazing how true the saying, "It's not what you know, but who you know" is.  College can be a great place to make a lot of connections for finding a career.

[GutterBoy 2,277]

13 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

Not the same. I did both. Started at an ACC school. Went to our games and some SEC games. Lots of fun. All sorts of parties. 

Went to state school and it was not even close. Plenty of fun, but not on the same scale. Not saying big schools are better from an education standpoint, but the social aspects can be quite a bit better.

Doesn't make me feel good as a parent, though, which is one of the reasons my kid is going to a state school.  

Big Name different than enrollment.

There are state schools with 20K students that offer many social opportunities.

I'm talking about ivy league schools or private schools that have prestigious reputations don't necessarily offer better education than non prestigious schools.

[NorthernVike 2,079]

Don't do the hard drugs.   

[MTSkiBum 1,593]

Our HR people all have engineering degrees. Pretty much everyone in the company I work for except for basic AR clerks, etc have engineering degrees.

 

There are other companies out there like ours as well. You can go into any career path with an engineering degree. Although some degrees like a chemical or mechanical are probably better than a civil.

 

Not that chem e's are better than civil engineers, but there is more flexibility to where you can work in the future i mean.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

1 hour ago, MTSkiBum said:

Our HR people all have engineering degrees. Pretty much everyone in the company I work for except for basic AR clerks, etc have engineering degrees.

 

There are other companies out there like ours as well. You can go into any career path with an engineering degree. Although some degrees like a chemical or mechanical are probably better than a civil.

 

Not that chem e's are better than civil engineers, but there is more flexibility to where you can work in the future i mean.

Lots of engineering companies put people in jobs that might not be the best for them. For example:

- hey, you are good with computers, you are the new IT Director

- hey, you are good with people, you are the new HR Director

- hey, you have good ideas, you are the new Chief Technology Officer

I work for an engineering company and I see lots of peer firms doing it. Not always a good idea. 

[tubby_mcgee 686]

16 is too early to decide what you wanna be/do, imo.

 

Buuuuuut....unfortunately, its kinda what has to be done. 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

16 minutes ago, tubby_mcgee said:

16 is too early to decide what you wanna be/do, imo.

Buuuuuut....unfortunately, its kinda what has to be done. 

Idle hands are the devil's workshop.

Its important to keep people busy because when they have a lot of free time they tend to start turning evil and/or subversive.  To ensure you have a stable and healthy nation, children should have plenty of work to do (schooling, learning, chores, a job, etc.) 

On the other hand, if you want to destroy a nation from within, one of the first things you need to do is pass child labor laws and instill a new moral code where children should have plenty of free time "to have fun".  That retards their growth to adulthood and generates lots of subversives.  You want young people age 16, 20, 25 with no direction in life, lost, feeling hopeless so that they turn into rebels and destroy their own nation.  Make it so anyone who disagrees with child labor laws are ostracized from society.

China and Russia have child labor laws.  But they don't enforce them.  Again, the laws are just for show.  They understand what actually is needed to keep their nation stable and healthy.  Its helping them pull ahead of the US as a world power.

The modern American method of getting around child labor laws is lots of extracurricular activities, which is a poor substitute from actually working because they aren't as exposed to real life working skills and situation to figure out what they want to do.