An old lady just comes in the store...

[fandandy 3,311]

Trying to find her sister's house.  She can't remember the address so she asks if I have a phonebook.  All I have is yellow pages so I tell her I'll just google it.  I ask her sister's first and last name and type it in the search bar and wouldn't you know it, google auto-fills obituary.

You should have seen that lady's face.  

[IGotWorms 3,315]

[Gladiators 1,904]

Can size?

[DonS 3,067]

Was she wearing a MAGA hat?  Did you go chest to chest with her? 

[Strike 3,974]

2 minutes ago, Gladiators said:

Can size?

The dead chick?

[Gladiators 1,904]

6 minutes ago, Strike said:

The dead chick?

Both.

[Mookz 1,287]

Hopefully she wasn't too overcome with grief to buy something.  This ain't a library, lady.  

[wiffleball 4,640]

That's awful. Poor Lady. 

[DonS 3,067]

Did you need to explain what "death from choking on too much BBC jizz" meant? 

[KayJay1971 238]

From the title I was hoping you nailed this old lady in the store and sent her away with a smile on her old wrinkled face. 

[Voltaire 4,558]

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

So here's a good story... in wasn't there that day, but I heard it from numerous people who were.

So it's 7am at the waffle house in Manchester Tennessee (where Bonnaroo is held).

Car pulls up. Old lady comes in and asks if they have a phone book. They don't, but offer to look up a number. She asks for the coffee county coroner.

Mystified, someone looks up the number. She calls.

Apparently the coroner was out fishing or some sh!t, and wouldn't be back for a couple hours.

Lady says ok, and leaves. Gets in her car. Passenger door opens, and a guy falls out into the parking lot. She drives away...

Someone goes out... he's dead. Now there is a corpse in the parking lot, and breakfast rush is about to start.

So the manager calls the regional manager and asks what to do. He rushes over.

The solution they come up with is to put a tarp over the guy, and have all the employees park their cars around the body to hide it.

Body lays there until about 9am, when the coroner shows up and deals with it.

Turns out it was the old lady's husband. He had a heart attack and died, and that was her solution. 

[Voltaire 4,558]

11 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

So here's a good story... in wasn't there that day, but I heard it from numerous people who were.

So it's 7am at the waffle house in Manchester Tennessee (where Bonnaroo is held).

Car pulls up. Old lady comes in and asks if they have a phone book. They don't, but offer to look up a number. She asks for the coffee county coroner.

Mystified, someone looks up the number. She calls.

Apparently the coroner was out fishing or some sh!t, and wouldn't be back for a couple hours.

Lady says ok, and leaves. Gets in her car. Passenger door opens, and a guy falls out into the parking lot. She drives away...

Someone goes out... he's dead. Now there is a corpse in the parking lot, and breakfast rush is about to start.

So the manager calls the regional manager and asks what to do. He rushes over.

The solution they come up with is to put a tarp over the guy, and have all the employees park their cars around the body to hide it.

Body lays there until about 9am, when the coroner shows up and deals with it.

Turns out it was the old lady's husband. He had a heart attack and died, and that was her solution. 

It’s similar to what Raider Hater’s ex-wife had planned for him.  

[Mike Isles 583]

36 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

So here's a good story... in wasn't there that day, but I heard it from numerous people who were.

So it's 7am at the waffle house in Manchester Tennessee (where Bonnaroo is held).

Car pulls up. Old lady comes in and asks if they have a phone book. They don't, but offer to look up a number. She asks for the coffee county coroner.

Mystified, someone looks up the number. She calls.

Apparently the coroner was out fishing or some sh!t, and wouldn't be back for a couple hours.

Lady says ok, and leaves. Gets in her car. Passenger door opens, and a guy falls out into the parking lot. She drives away...

Someone goes out... he's dead. Now there is a corpse in the parking lot, and breakfast rush is about to start.

So the manager calls the regional manager and asks what to do. He rushes over.

The solution they come up with is to put a tarp over the guy, and have all the employees park their cars around the body to hide it.

Body lays there until about 9am, when the coroner shows up and deals with it.

Turns out it was the old lady's husband. He had a heart attack and died, and that was her solution. 

I hope last meal was 

World Famous Golden Delicious Hashbrowns with Grilled Onions, Melted American Cheese, Hickory Smoked Ham, Diced Tomatoes, Jalapeno Peppers & Grilled Mushrooms, then topped with Bert's Chili™ and Sausage Gravy

 

 

[Mike Isles 583]

Just now, Mike Isles said:

I hope last meal was 

World Famous Golden Delicious Hashbrowns with Grilled Onions, Melted American Cheese, Hickory Smoked Ham, Diced Tomatoes, Jalapeno Peppers & Grilled Mushrooms, then topped with Bert's Chili™ and Sausage Gravy

 

 

I do not think this is the original recipe. 
I remember diced sliced covered smothered chunked and ???

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

3 minutes ago, Mike Isles said:

I hope last meal was 

World Famous Golden Delicious Hashbrowns with Grilled Onions, Melted American Cheese, Hickory Smoked Ham, Diced Tomatoes, Jalapeno Peppers & Grilled Mushrooms, then topped with Bert's Chili™ and Sausage Gravy

 

 

Ugh. God I hated that focking place.

I have thought that one could write a good book from it though. Go around the country at night and ask waffle house lifers for their most focked up stories.

Drugs, prostitution, dead people, explosive diarrhea, ghetto fights, employees beating down a drug dealer in uniform and even a mass shooting... I saw all that myself.

(Except the mass shooting. That happened at a store I managed a few months after I left.)

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

5 minutes ago, Mike Isles said:

I do not think this is the original recipe. 
I remember diced sliced covered smothered chunked and ???

He's right. That would be hash Browns all the way. Or slutty hash as I called it. They asked me to stop saying that on the line though.

Scattered, Smothered, covered, peppered, chunked, Diced... I forget the call for mushrooms.

ETA - Capped. Mushrooms is capped. 

[Old School 360]

1 hour ago, Mike Isles said:

I hope last meal was 

World Famous Golden Delicious Hashbrowns with Grilled Onions, Melted American Cheese, Hickory Smoked Ham, Diced Tomatoes, Jalapeno Peppers & Grilled Mushrooms, then topped with Bert's Chili™ and Sausage Gravy

 

 

Come on Titans- give us the how do they call this one?

Browns w onions, cheese, ham, diced, peppered, shrooms, chili & gravy?
I’m not even close.
The awful waffle has its own language when the servers bark the orders.
It’s actually quite amazing.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

9 minutes ago, Old School said:

Come on Titans- give us the how do they call this one?

Browns w onions, cheese, ham, diced, peppered, shrooms, chili & gravy?
I’m not even close.
The awful waffle has its own language when the servers bark the orders.
It’s actually quite amazing.

I just did...

Drop one hash brown, scattered smothered covered chunked and diced.

If it's everything, you just say drop one hasbrown scattered all the way.

On weekends, the servers don't call the orders. The “expiditer” does. That was the manager, or me. So I'd stand there for 9 hours calling order after order. Usually had to help wash dishes while I do it. 

It's called the pull drop mark system. At high volume periods, you have three cooks.

The first cook is on the meat grill. “pull” is talking to him. Pull one bacon, two sausage, one chicken, for example.

The middle cook is the egg guy. That's really all he does.

The right cook is the hardest. He does the hashbrowns (the drop part of the call) but mostly he has to “mark the plates.” he pulls down a plate, and marks it. For example, a jelly packet vertically at the bottom is scrambled. Vertically in the middle is over medium. At the top is over well. Horizontally is an omlette. Etc.

So the whole thing goes...

Pull one bacon, one sausage, drop 2, one in the ring, one scattered all the way, mark order over medium scattered all the way, order scrambled.

If you have a good crew, it works well. If you don't, it can really really suck. And it takes longer to learn than you'd think.

Most weekdays I'd have to cook all three stations alone. That gets really challenging when it's busy at all. 

[Old School 360]

Titans- would you believe they built a Waffle House in Cool Springs?
Right over by Bonefish Grill, the Acura dealership. Right there in the midst of the Franklin $$$

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

12 minutes ago, Old School said:

Titans- would you believe they built a Waffle House in Cool Springs?
Right over by Bonefish Grill, the Acura dealership. Right there in the midst of the Franklin $$$

Sure. Rich kids get drunk too. I'm sure they do a great weekend third shift. And I'm sure the church crowd on Sunday is the most obnoxious bunch of cvnts on God's earth.

I spent most of my time there in murfreeboro, although I ran the Laverne store for a year or so (hellhole) and filled in at the Charlotte pike in Antioch store for a while (wretched ghetto hell hole, and the one that got shot up.)

In Atlanta they literally have waffle houses directly across the street from one another. When I was there for waffle house university (yes that exists, it lasts 3 days) We went to one to eat, as it was free. We were in uniform, but had coats on, so the staff didn't know we were management. We were supposed to audit their performance as well.

It was like 5pm. One server, one cook. A bus pulled up, fully loaded. The poor cook was about to sh!t himself. We all took off our coats, and six managers suddenly appeared, and we dealt with the rush. I've never seen anyone so grateful.

Bonnaroo week was always the best. All management had to do turns doing third shift down there. Always saw some crazy stuff. I have been offered a bj for a waffle more than once. And no, I did not accept... the kind of chick that blows you for a waffle is not one you want, trust me. I may or may not have traded food for a joint before though. 

[fandandy 3,311]

5 hours ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

I have been offered a bj for a waffle more than once. And no, I did not accept.

My sugar was low!!