Things you will say on the last day of work...

[Mike Honcho 4,015]

To especially frustrating client,  "You are the reason why I drink".  

[cyclone24 1,814]

On the last day that’s the best you’re going to come up with? I’m doing a full desk sweep with one arm on somebody’s ass. 

[MTSkiBum 1,594]

Has anyone seen my red stapler?

[Mike Honcho 4,015]

1 minute ago, cyclone24 said:

On the last day that’s the best you’re going to come up with? I’m doing a full desk sweep with one arm on somebody’s ass. 

I maybe be venting about 1 particular person right now.    

[IGotWorms 3,310]

 

[Bert 1,089]

I would love to go with a little Five Finger Death Punch:

C'est la vie... adiós... good riddance... fock you!

 

I still want my pension so will probably only say; Good luck!

[edjr 5,556]

I love my job and the people I work with. Not a bad thing.  3 1/2 years in

[Pimpadeaux 2,259]

I've always just disappeared without a word.

[Mike Honcho 4,015]

5 minutes ago, Pimpadeaux said:

I've always just disappeared without a word.

Like Keyser Sose. 

[porkbutt 861]

6 minutes ago, Pimpadeaux said:

I've always just disappeared without a word.

prove it

[Pimpadeaux 2,259]

1 minute ago, porkbutt said:

prove it

That's nothing that can be proved, but I can share a story.

Once I've given my two-week notice, my objective is to fly under the radar as much as possible. No goodbye lunches. No walking around saying goodbye to people.

My experience at one place was no less than hellish. Toxic management. Two home-wrecking hurricanes. All I wanted was to run away and leave behind that place and never again live near the coast.

After I gave notice, I spent two weeks emptying my office like the Johnny Cash song "One Piece at a Time," so there was nothing to carry out by my last day.

Usually I stayed working until 7 p.m. and beyond, but on my last day, at exactly 5 p.m., I quietly got up, made my way to the back door and started to slip out. I didn't even turn out my office light or shut the office door. I just left any keys on the desk.

The only one who saw me was this long-haired party-animal dude who worked on the desk. He was like a skinnier, Cajun version of Lawrence in "Office Space." Fun dude to party with.

We made eye contact, he gave me a knowing nod and then I slipped out, and I never again saw him or that place.

[TheNewGirl 1,022]

"Screw you guys, I am going home." 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

You guys dont own your own company?

[posty 2,296]

Goodbye cruel world
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye

Goodbye all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change
My mind
Goodbye

[porkbutt 861]

5 minutes ago, Pimpadeaux said:

That's nothing that can be proved, but I can share a story.

Once I've given my two-week notice, my objective is to fly under the radar as much as possible. No goodbye lunches. No walking around saying goodbye to people.

My experience at one place was no less than hellish. Toxic management. Two home-wrecking hurricanes. All I wanted was to run away and leave behind that place and never again live near the coast.

After I gave notice, I spent two weeks emptying my office like the Johnny Cash song "One Piece at a Time," so there was nothing to carry out by my last day.

Usually I stayed working until 7 p.m. and beyond, but on my last day, at exactly 5 p.m., I quietly got up, made my way to the back door and started to slip out. I didn't even turn out my office light or shut the office door. I just left any keys on the desk.

The only one who saw me was this long-haired party-animal dude who worked on the desk. He was like a skinnier, Cajun version of Lawrence in "Office Space." Fun dude to party with.

We made eye contact, he gave me a knowing nod and then I slipped out, and I never again saw him or that place.

cool story bro. i meant show us how you disappear quietly by leaving this forum. hth.

[Pimpadeaux 2,259]

1 minute ago, JustinCharge said:

You guys dont own your own company?

I do now.

I work under the umbrella of a Fortune 100 company but run my little chunk of it, kind of like a franchise. 

[Pimpadeaux 2,259]

Just now, porkbutt said:

cool story bro. i meant show us how you disappear quietly by leaving this forum. hth.

Y'all don't really want me to leave. Without conflict, it's just a bunch of incestuous posters locked in the same menstrual cycle.

 

[porkbutt 861]

4 minutes ago, Pimpadeaux said:

I do now.

I work under the umbrella of a Fortune 100 company but run my little chunk of it, kind of like a franchise. 

is that how they are marketing jobs like fry cook nowadays??? gotta hand it to them.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

8 minutes ago, Pimpadeaux said:

Y'all don't really want me to leave. Without conflict, it's just a bunch of incestuous posters locked in the same menstrual cycle.

 

Does that make you the douche?

[JustinCharge 2,397]

18 minutes ago, porkbutt said:

is that how they are marketing jobs like fry cook nowadays??? gotta hand it to them.

I dont know if he runs his chunk but he runs his mouth for sure.

[Pimpadeaux 2,259]

4 minutes ago, TimmySmith said:

Does that make you the douche?

Why, because I bring conflict?

This board has been all about conflict for more than two decades, but certain posters take themselves way too focking seriously.

Which makes it all that much more fun to be a troll, which I've freely admitted, yet I still pizz off people, which is amusing as hell.

[Pimpadeaux 2,259]

2 minutes ago, JustinCharge said:

I dont know if he runs his chunk but he runs his mouth for sure.

You provide more material than I can get to in a lifetime of posting.

And I thank you for that.

[Utilit99 4,099]

16 minutes ago, Pimpadeaux said:

Why, because I bring conflict?

This board has been all about conflict for more than two decades, but certain posters take themselves way too focking seriously.

Which makes it all that much more fun to be a troll, which I've freely admitted, yet I still pizz off people, which is amusing as hell.

 More like dogshlt. 

[Utilit99 4,099]

I would probably say, see ya tonight. Drinks on you all! 

[TommyGavin 788]

I’ll share a story. It does end in me telling them to go fock themselves. 
 

When I gave 2 weeks notice I had all intentions of completing the full 2 weeks. Then I found out from the new (and current) company that I had to start April 1 if I wanted health insurance to kick in right away otherwise I had to wait until May 1. 
April 1 was a Friday - the last day of my 2 week notice so Thursday would have to be my last day. They said no and that I was being unprofessional Bla Bla Bla 

I said Fock you and left. Then I had to fight for money owed to me for months. Found out the $$ they were deducting for 401k was never deposited- Bastards. 
 

(I was only there 3 months)

[wiffleball 4,638]

When I worked for an energy trading firm, they had a policy that if you didn't tell them where you were going to work on your next job? They had to pay you out 2 weeks and March you out the door.

 

So I told anybody who asked that I was joining the priesthood.

 

A few days later, the boss thought she was being sneaky and was going to surprise me into telling her where I was going. I had already cleaned all my s*** out , wiped my hard drive, I showed up to work in sandals and a Hawaiian shirt.  Bert was there for that. 

I showed up to my goodbye lunch about 45 minutes before anybody else did. I was half lit on tequila. I just let the company pick up the tab.

 

"Oh no! You mean you're going to pay me for 2 weeks to do nothing? Oh perish the thought!"

 

Dumbass. 

[Pimpadeaux 2,259]

21 minutes ago, wiffleball said:

When I worked for an energy trading firm, they had a policy that if you didn't tell them where you were going to work on your next job? They had to pay you out 2 weeks and March you out the door.

 

So I told anybody who asked that I was joining the priesthood.

 

A few days later, the boss thought she was being sneaky and was going to surprise me into telling her where I was going. I had already cleaned all my s*** out , wiped my hard drive, I showed up to work in sandals and a Hawaiian shirt.  Bert was there for that. 

I showed up to my goodbye lunch about 45 minutes before anybody else did. I was half lit on tequila. I just let the company pick up the tab.

 

"Oh no! You mean you're going to pay me for 2 weeks to do nothing? Oh perish the thought!"

 

Dumbass. 

[Hardcore troubadour 12,624]

“Energy trading firm”. Lol. My grandfather worked for the Jewish placement service for Germany in the 1940’s. 

[DonS 3,067]

IT WAS CONSENSUAL!!!!! 

[huskyhater75 242]

I told them 5 years ago "nice knowing you". I've never been back, I don't even look at the place when I drive by.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,624]

13 minutes ago, huskyhater75 said:

I told them 5 years ago "nice knowing you". I've never been back, I don't even look at the place when I drive by.

Do you tell your mailman war stories about your time on the job? Tell him how easy he has it compared to when you were humping a sack? 

[huskyhater75 242]

1 minute ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Do you tell your mailman war stories about your time on the job? Tell him how easy he has it compared to when you were humping a sack? 

WTF are you spewing about now, you dumb LOSER yank fan? I can't even decipher what you mean, are you drunk again?

[Hardcore troubadour 12,624]

Just now, huskyhater75 said:

WTF are you spewing about now, you dumb LOSER yank fan? I can't even decipher what you mean, are you drunk again?

You said you were a federal employee.  Mailman, right? 

[huskyhater75 242]

!!!!!

[Hardcore troubadour 12,624]

3 minutes ago, huskyhater75 said:

!!!!!

Hello, Newman 

[huskyhater75 242]

A mailman........................HAHAHAHAHA! So assuming, you're stupid!

[kutulu 1,545]

 

[BunnysBastatrds 1,913]

 I banged all of your fat wives/girlfriends at the Christmas parties over the years. Appreciate the business. I sure got into theirs. 

[NorthernVike 2,080]

I peenied my hard drive.   Good luck fockers.

[Kopy 489]

I'm going with the old Irish exit. Never to be seen again.