Cooking this...

[fandandy 3,311]

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Bear-Creek-Country-Kitchens-Minestrone-Soup-Mix-9-3-OZ-Pouch/10448683

I'll let you know.

[Big Guy 1,400]

thanks for letting us know 

I'll tell my friends

[fandandy 3,311]

You need to wait until it's done and I eat it.  And, like you have friends.

[Bert 1,087]

You’re not cooking anything.  You are heating up prepackaged crap. 

[wiffleball 4,631]

Stick a straw in it like an oversized juice box.

[fandandy 3,311]

Can we all just accept the fact that none of us have friends in real life?  That is how I always know that a story posted here is untrue, if it begins, I was out with my buddies the other day...

No, you weren't.  

[fandandy 3,311]

It doesn't look bad.  I am amazed at how big the carrots got.  They look like giant orange frisbees now.  I think I may need to add some broth.  It is starting to look a bit pasty.

[Fireballer 2,369]

1 hour ago, fandandy said:

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Bear-Creek-Country-Kitchens-Minestrone-Soup-Mix-9-3-OZ-Pouch/10448683

I'll let you know.

That should get your Pioneer Woman nice and riled up

[fandandy 3,311]

I don't have any broth here though nor bouillon but I need to go back to the store soon so I will grab some broth.  I may doctor this up a bit.  Maybe add some onions and some pork or something.  It currently looks like something I may have prepared after the rapture that I purchased years ago from Jim Bakker.

[Bert 1,087]

4 minutes ago, fandandy said:

Can we all just accept the fact that none of us have friends in real life?  That is how I always know that a story posted here is untrue, if it begins, I was out with my buddies the other day...

No, you weren't.  

Don’t project your short comings and life failures on the rest of us.  
 

Enjoy that “gourmet meal” you “cooked”!

[wiffleball 4,631]

Okay, I've put a lot of thought into this. Hard pass. I would much rather eat a can of those little mini raviolis. Those are really good.

[fandandy 3,311]

2 minutes ago, Bert said:

Don’t project your short comings and life failures on the rest of us.  
 

Enjoy that “gourmet meal” you “cooked”!

This sh1t is gonna be good.  Have fun starving to death after God comes back.

[Bert 1,087]

6 minutes ago, fandandy said:

This sh1t is gonna be good.  Have fun starving to death after God comes back.

WTF?  Come back? Did God run away like a little puzzy or Is God on vacation or something?

[fandandy 3,311]

Father, forgive Bert, for he does not know what he is doing.

[wiffleball 4,631]

4 minutes ago, Bert said:

WTF?  Come back? Did God run away like a little puzzy or Is God on vacation or something?

Paternity leave. 

 

Poor guy has one kid in his whole life. And a billion Catholics munch on him like a box of triscuits.

 

That's why they call him Cheez Wiz Christ. 

[fandandy 3,311]

I'm getting a bit of the aftertaste now though.  The pre-fabricated aftertaste and I am not going to lie.  I'm not digging it.  This will not become a pantry staple.  I have yet though to add add the broth.  I did just add some marinated pork steak and some marinated onions.  I hope my girlfriend doesn't have a hankering for a cold pork salad when she gets home and is instead presented with a bowl of rapture chili.

[Bert 1,087]

1 minute ago, wiffleball said:

Paternity leave. 

 

Poor guy has one kid in his whole life. And a billion Catholics munch on him like a box of triscuits.

 

That's why they call him Cheez Wiz Christ. 

  You focker….I just shot beer out of my nose!   

[wiffleball 4,631]

Just now, fandandy said:

I'm getting a bit of the aftertaste now though.  The pre-fabricated aftertaste and I am not going to lie.  I'm not digging it.  This will not become a pantry staple.  I have yet though to add add the broth.  I did just add some marinated pork steak and some marinated onions.  I hope my girlfriend doesn't have a hankering for a cold pork salad when she gets home and is instead presented with a bowl of rapture chili.

Sounds more like rupture chili.

[wiffleball 4,631]

Just now, Bert said:

  You focker….I just shot beer out of my nose!   

[Gepetto 979]

I had country fried chicken and gravy, mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli and carrots and fresh baked rolls with whipped butter from a restaurant tonight.  

[Bier Meister 1,512]

Were the pizza rolls served as an appetizer or entree?

[wiffleball 4,631]

2 minutes ago, Gepetto said:

I had country fried chicken and gravy, mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli and carrots and fresh baked rolls with whipped butter from a restaurant tonight.  

And cracker barrel thanks you.

[wiffleball 4,631]

So I had a new girl walk up to me today. I was having my usual breakfast. Which is you know beer and a shot. 

 

The regular hardcore bartender had taken a smoke break. I knew that. 

 

"Is there anything I can get you?"

 

Well yeah, I'd like a shot snd a beer and I ordered a breakfast burrito like half an hour ago. And I'm not trying to be a jerk but....

 

Her eyes got all big. She disappears I swear to God for like 7 minutes.

Head BT comes back because she knows this game. She's just furious.

 

God dammit jacinda! We don't have breakfast burritos!  

 

Looks at me; I will cut you off,! !

 

Me?

 

I may not be remembered fondly.

But I'm pretty sure I'll be remembered.

 

[Gepetto 979]

13 minutes ago, wiffleball said:

And cracker barrel thanks you.

Texas Roadhouse

I like Cracker Barrel though.

[fandandy 3,311]

2 hours ago, Bier Meister said:

Were the pizza rolls served as an appetizer or entree?

Really?  This hurts.  When have I ever focked with you?  This genuinely stings.  

And not to step on your toes but in future, I would go with an entree.  

[shorepatrol 1,736]

Throw some Ritz crackers and tears in it.