Cdub100 3,379 Posted May 18, 2022 It's a beautiful day out so I decided to ride my motorcycle. Most of the time I don't have a problem because most people are working but I always like to let them know when I'm walking around their house. Anyway I had a bad feeling as I was getting off my bike and I see this weird dude peaking between his blinds as if I couldn't see him. So I grab my equipment and head to the door. Before I can even knock this guy opens his door and starts freaking out on me. Guy - " Stay right there you might have the covids. I don't know you. Who sent you! Was it Trump?" Me - from 20 feet back the smell of cat ammonia hits me like a tsunami. He's wearing clothes that are clearly stained from cat feces and p1ss. It was bad but I'm a professional "Hello sir my name is Cdub and I work with your insurance XYZ company Guy - "How do you know that? Was it the Russians who told you!?" Me - "No sir, your insurance sent me out to take a few photos of the property to update their records" Guy - "Well you ain't taking no photos of my house! My neighbors are gun loving Jesus fearing Trumpers and they'll shoot you if you don't get off my property!" Me - "I say I only need a few photos of the outside is it okay if I go around back." Guy - He screams "Get out!!!" I turn to leave and he says Guy - "Hey riding motorcycles is dangerous do you have full life term bonus plus plus for your family if something was to happen to you" Me - no thank you I have all the insurance I need. Guy - "YOU CAN NEVER EVER EVAH HAVE TOO MUCH INSURANCE! IT'S A GREAT INVESTMENT AND SAFTEY NET! YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING TRUMPER! GO BACK TO YOUR ULTRA MAGA TOWN AND GET OUT OF HERE! Oh look what you did now you let mr. Whiskers out...." At this point the smell was so bad I had to get out of there. Anyway the insurance company usually calls these loonies but I guess they didn't get through. I ain't heading back to that house. That's for d@mn sure 1 14 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,636 Posted May 18, 2022 Okay, not that the bar was set really high, but this is your best post ever. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BeenHereBefore 1,332 Posted May 18, 2022 That is comedy gold. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,636 Posted May 18, 2022 The weird thing about Rusty's house? The cats smell like human piss. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,913 Posted May 18, 2022 46 minutes ago, Cdub100 said: It's a beautiful day out so I decided to ride my motorcycle. Most of the time I don't have a problem because most people are working but I always like to let them know when I'm walking around their house. Anyway I had a bad feeling as I was getting off my bike and I see this weird dude peaking between his blinds as if I couldn't see him. So I grab my equipment and head to the door. Before I can even knock this guy opens his door and starts freaking out on me. Guy - " Stay right there you might have the covids. I don't know you. Who sent you! Was it Trump?" Me - from 20 feet back the smell of cat ammonia hits me like a tsunami. He's wearing clothes that are clearly stained from cat feces and p1ss. It was bad but I'm a professional "Hello sir my name is Cdub and I work with your insurance XYZ company Guy - "How do you know that? Was it the Russians who told you!?" Me - "No sir, your insurance sent me out to take a few photos of the property to update their records" Guy - "Well you ain't taking no photos of my house! My neighbors are gun loving Jesus fearing Trumpers and they'll shoot you if you don't get off my property!" Me - "I say I only need a few photos of the outside is it okay if I go around back." Guy - He screams "Get out!!!" I turn to leave and he says Guy - "Hey riding motorcycles is dangerous do you have full life term bonus plus plus for your family if something was to happen to you" Me - no thank you I have all the insurance I need. Guy - "YOU CAN NEVER EVER EVAH HAVE TOO MUCH INSURANCE! IT'S A GREAT INVESTMENT AND SAFTEY NET! YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING TRUMPER! GO BACK TO YOUR ULTRA MAGA TOWN AND GET OUT OF HERE! Oh look what you did now you let mr. Whiskers out...." At this point the smell was so bad I had to get out of there. Anyway the insurance company usually calls these loonies but I guess they didn't get through. I ain't heading back to that house. That's for d@mn sure Been there brother. Peoples are weird going into their lives homes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big Guy 1,400 Posted May 18, 2022 wtf? is this for real? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peenie 1,690 Posted May 18, 2022 That story makes no sense. It’s filled with contradictions. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brad GLuckman 518 Posted May 18, 2022 You actually made me laugh out loud. Well done Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nomad99 403 Posted May 18, 2022 1 hour ago, Cdub100 said: It's a beautiful day out so I decided to ride my motorcycle. Most of the time I don't have a problem because most people are working but I always like to let them know when I'm walking around their house. Anyway I had a bad feeling as I was getting off my bike and I see this weird dude peaking between his blinds as if I couldn't see him. So I grab my equipment and head to the door. Before I can even knock this guy opens his door and starts freaking out on me. Guy - " Stay right there you might have the covids. I don't know you. Who sent you! Was it Trump?" Me - from 20 feet back the smell of cat ammonia hits me like a tsunami. He's wearing clothes that are clearly stained from cat feces and p1ss. It was bad but I'm a professional "Hello sir my name is Cdub and I work with your insurance XYZ company Guy - "How do you know that? Was it the Russians who told you!?" Me - "No sir, your insurance sent me out to take a few photos of the property to update their records" Guy - "Well you ain't taking no photos of my house! My neighbors are gun loving Jesus fearing Trumpers and they'll shoot you if you don't get off my property!" Me - "I say I only need a few photos of the outside is it okay if I go around back." Guy - He screams "Get out!!!" I turn to leave and he says Guy - "Hey riding motorcycles is dangerous do you have full life term bonus plus plus for your family if something was to happen to you" Me - no thank you I have all the insurance I need. Guy - "YOU CAN NEVER EVER EVAH HAVE TOO MUCH INSURANCE! IT'S A GREAT INVESTMENT AND SAFTEY NET! YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING TRUMPER! GO BACK TO YOUR ULTRA MAGA TOWN AND GET OUT OF HERE! Oh look what you did now you let mr. Whiskers out...." At this point the smell was so bad I had to get out of there. Anyway the insurance company usually calls these loonies but I guess they didn't get through. I ain't heading back to that house. That's for d@mn sure What do you have for a bike? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cdub100 3,379 Posted May 18, 2022 3 minutes ago, Nomad99 said: What do you have for a bike? It's a choppah Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nomad99 403 Posted May 19, 2022 1 minute ago, Cdub100 said: It's a choppah Is it Zed's? I'm rocking an FXFBS currently. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BeenHereBefore 1,332 Posted May 19, 2022 1 minute ago, Nomad99 said: Is it Zed's? I'm rocking an FXFBS currently. Zed is dead! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Voltaire 4,556 Posted May 19, 2022 20 minutes ago, BeenHereBefore said: Zed is dead! It’s why his bike was up for sale. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Voltaire 4,556 Posted May 19, 2022 Is this a side gig? Are you still working at TACOM? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BeenHereBefore 1,332 Posted May 19, 2022 8 minutes ago, Voltaire said: It’s why his bike was up for sale. I heard some dude that look like Sonny Barger bought it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DonS 3,066 Posted May 19, 2022 Damn. With that thread title I was expecting a Dear Penthouse Forum type post. :zipsbackup: :sadbanana: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Masshole 642 Posted May 19, 2022 Reminds me of the story of the parents of the actress from MA. Her parents froze to death in their own home as it had disintegrated around them from neglect over the years. Some offers of help leading up to that by family and neighbors, all declined. They just "wanted to be left alone". But when a person is descending into dementia/senility - those decisions can be life threatening if there isn't someone who steps in and says; "can't do this". In the case of the Alicia Witt parents - looks like they both kind of lost it at the same time and everyone thought one of them was looking out for the other. But it turns out they were both too far gone to help anyone much less themselves. https://www.telegram.com/story/news/2021/12/21/actor-alicia-witts-parents-found-deceased-their-home-worcester-tatnuck/8985157002/ There's a couple of houses in my town. They always stick out as you drive around. The rest of the neighborhood looks OK but then this one place looks like a setting from "I am Legend". Yard completely overgrown, house falling apart. Kind of looks like someone is still living in there but hard to tell. I always wonder about those places and if the people there are OK (or even still alive). If I were a better person I would probably try to do something. But then I think of a scene where someone reeking of cat piss is screaming gibberish at me and I nope the fuk out of that idea. Big chunk of out population is getting old, this stuff is going to happen more. . . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bill E. 666 Posted May 19, 2022 you should have told him the Russians sent you and that you want to store nukes in his garage. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gladiators 1,904 Posted May 19, 2022 POTY Well done Cdub Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old School 360 Posted May 19, 2022 Quote Slow clap. Well done. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
