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[TommyGavin 788]

This place sucks. No humor.  None. 

[Bier Meister 1,513]

A bear and a rabbit are chitting in the woods.

the bear looks over and asks “do you have problems with poo sticking to your fur?”

rabbit says “why no, I don’t.”

 

so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit 

[easilyscan 558]

What do you call a woman who is anorexic, & has a yeast infection ?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

 

What do they use venetian blinds for in Ethiopia ?

Bunkbeds

 

What do you call an Ethiopian with penny on his head ?

A nail

[JustinCharge 2,397]

A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."

[TommyGavin 788]

Good try. Keep them coming. 

[Hawkeye21 1,852]

A man and woman are seated next to each other on a plane. After takeoff, the woman violently sneezes and excuses herself to go to the bathroom...so the man stands up to let her out.

She returns, and 15 minutes later she sneezes again big time, and again excuses herself to go to the bathroom.

She returns again, and immediately sneezes, excusing herself to go to the bathroom.

The man, a little tired of jumping up so often...asks her: "You keep sneezing, what's the problem?"

The woman replies: "I have a rare condition...every time I sneeze I have an orgasm."

He says, "Oh... what are you taking for it?"

She says: "Pepper."

[jerryskids 5,191]

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

 

Keep the tip.

[craftsman 1,045]

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

"HDMI."

[NorthernVike 2,080]

I woke up to a blowjob this morning.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

last time I sleep with my mouth open.  

[jerryskids 5,191]

Eesa... eesa...

[TommyGavin 788]

I was blessed with a 10” pen1s. 
 

Thankfully that priest is in jail. 

[Pimpadeaux 2,260]

18 hours ago, Bier Meister said:

A bear and a rabbit are chitting in the woods.

the bear looks over and asks “do you have problems with poo sticking to your fur?”

rabbit says “why no, I don’t.”

 

so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit 

[Pimpadeaux 2,260]

How did Trump break his arm at the golf course?

He fell off the ball-washing device.

[SUXBNME 1,324]

What do you call a midget waving? 

 

A microwave

[JustinCharge 2,397]

my girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus.  i was not only shocked, but i was appalled, aghast and dismayed.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,913]

On 8/16/2022 at 12:01 AM, Bier Meister said:

A bear and a rabbit are chitting in the woods.

the bear looks over and asks “do you have problems with poo sticking to your fur?”

rabbit says “why no, I don’t.”

 

so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit 

 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

I went to the bookstore the other day and saw a book titled "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems".  So, I bought two.

[Baker Boy 1,484]

A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says “this is the pig I’ve been sleeping with”

his wife says “that’s not a pig”

The man says “I wasn’t talking to you”

[JustinCharge 2,397]

 

[wiffleball 4,638]

I was molested by my teacher when I was a kid.

 

Unfortunately, I was homeschooled.

[JustinCharge 2,397]

i think my wife is cheating on me.  she said "ill be home in 10-15 mins max".  my name is logan.

why did the police officer arrest the duck? because he was selling quack.

how does a pilot like his sandwich? plain.

what did the baby corn say to the momma corn? wheres popcorn?

wanna hear a joke about paper? its tearable.

did you hear about the baguette at the zoo? it was bread in captivity.

[TommyGavin 788]

How did I make the subject like an emoji???

I seriously don’t know how I did that. 
 

Keep the jokes coming 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

i asked my date to meet me at he gym but she didnt show up.  thats when i knew we werent gonna work out.

a man knocked on my door asking for donations for the local swimming pool.  so i gave him a glass of water.

[JustinCharge 2,397]

a friend of mine got kidnapped by a group of mimes.  they did unspeakable things to him.

[fandandy 3,311]

What do you get if you cross my ex-wife with a disabled octopus?

A five-legged slut

 

Stolen from After Life

[JustinCharge 2,397]

 

[Bier Meister 1,513]

what's the toughest part of being a chargers fan?

 

 

Telling your parents you're ghey

[TommyGavin 788]

39 minutes ago, Bier Meister said:

what's the toughest part of being a chargers fan?

 

 

Telling your parents you're ghey

Thought that was San Francisco fans

[Bier Meister 1,513]

8 minutes ago, TommyGavin said:

Thought that was San Francisco fans

greenwich village says heeeeyyyyy.

[TommyGavin 788]

2 hours ago, Bier Meister said:

greenwich village says heeeeyyyyy.

Ha. My bad. That was directed to Sux not you. 

[frank 2,144]

3 hours ago, TommyGavin said:

Thought that was San Francisco fans

Why would he tell San Francisco fans he’s gay?

[JustinCharge 2,397]

they say an asteroid killed all the dinosaurs.  you could also say it killed many birds with one stone.

reading a book is looking at a dead tree and hallucinating.

[frank 2,144]

9 minutes ago, JustinCharge said:

they say an asteroid killed all the dinosaurs.  you could also say it killed many birds with one stone.

reading a book is looking at a dead tree and hallucinating.

I know what I know if you know what I mean. 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

mirrors dont break.  they multiply.

i like telling dad jokes.  sometimes, he laughs.

what concert costs 45 cents?  50 cent featuring nickleback.

 

[BunnysBastatrds 1,913]

2 hours ago, JustinCharge said:

mirrors dont break.  they multiply.

i like telling dad jokes.  sometimes, he laughs.

what concert costs 45 cents?  50 cent featuring nickleback.

 

Dad joke time 

Why did your Dad fawk your Mom and get impregnated?

She didn’t suck d!ck and swallow. 

[frank 2,144]

 

[RaiderHaters Revenge 3,577]

A couple weeks ago, I was walking thru the park and I saw this beautiful young lady sitting on the bench reading a book

I walked up to her and asked "what is that you are reading?"

She replied, "its a very interesting book called Strange Sexual Facts"

I said, "that does sound interesting, have you learned anything?"

She said, "in fact I have, did you know that the Irish man has the thickest pen1s in the world, and the Native American has the longest?"

I said, "wow, I did not know that"

She said, "I'm sorry, my name is Krista."

I replied, "Hi Krista, my name is Tonto O'Reilly"

 

[RaiderHaters Revenge 3,577]

I went to a wedding today at a nudist colony. It was really weird. You couldn’t tell who the bride or groom were, but you could tell I was the best man 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

if 2 vegans were arguing, would they have a beef with each other?

if apple made a car, would it still have windows?