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Is tipping getting out of control? Many consumers and Mr. Pink say yes

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https://apnews.com/article/tipping-fatigue-business-c4ae9d440610dae5e8ff4d4df0f88c35



 

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NEW YORK (AP) — Across the country, there’s a silent frustration brewing about an age-old practice that many say is getting out of hand: tipping.

Some fed-up consumers are posting rants on social media complaining about tip requests at drive-thrus, while others say they’re tired of being asked to leave a gratuity for a muffin or a simple cup of coffee at their neighborhood bakery. What’s next, they wonder -- are we going to be tipping our doctors and dentists, too?

As more businesses adopt digital payment methods, customers are automatically being prompted to leave a gratuity — many times as high as 30% — at places they normally wouldn’t. And some say it has become more frustrating as the price of items has skyrocketed due to inflation, which eased to 6.5% in December but still remains painfully high.

“Suddenly, these screens are at every establishment we encounter. They’re popping up online as well for online orders. And I fear that there is no end,” said etiquette expert Thomas Farley, who considers the whole thing somewhat of “an invasion.”

Unlike tip jars that shoppers can easily ignore if they don’t have spare change, experts say the digital requests can produce social pressure and are more difficult to bypass. And your generosity, or lack thereof, can be laid bare for anyone close enough to glance at the screen — including the workers themselves.

Dylan Schenker is one of them. The 38-year-old earns about $400 a month in tips, which provides a helpful supplement to his $15 hourly wage as a barista at Philadelphia café located inside a restaurant. Most of those tips come from consumers who order coffee drinks or interact with the café for other things, such as carryout orders. The gratuity helps cover his monthly rent and eases some of his burdens while he attends graduate school and juggles his job.

Schenker says it’s hard to sympathize with consumers who are able to afford pricey coffee drinks but complain about tipping. And he often feels demoralized when people don’t leave behind anything extra — especially if they’re regulars.

“Tipping is about making sure the people who are performing that service for you are getting paid what they’re owed,” said Schenker, who’s been working in the service industry for roughly 18 years.

 

I don't bartend currently, but I have the past however long. My chick still does and waitresses. She works from 1 to midnight on Sunday (a double) and often brings home $700 plus. 

When we go out, we tip 25% and if we know the person 30% or more.

 

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I'm on the cheaper side of tipping.  I worked briefly in the service industry, so I know the difference if someone is bringing their A game or not.  

Everyone starts out at a baseline of 15%.  Service is bad, I'll drop it.  Good, I'll raise it. 

Wife and I actually got into a debate over this last week while eating at a restaurant. We're done with our meal and she got a to-go box brought to the table.  Waitress says she will be right back with the check.  The place is short staffed and bottom line it takes her 10+ minutes to bring us the check.  She was seating people, taking orders, bringing drinks and all that while we waited. 

Wife wanted to tip her extra because she was so busy.  I said nah, she made us wait an extra 10 minutes earning those other people's tips.  I think we left about 17-18% that day. 

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9 minutes ago, Ultra Max Power said:

I'm on the cheaper side of tipping.  I worked briefly in the service industry, so I know the difference if someone is bringing their A game or not.  

 

That is the problem I think. We never under tip because the server sucks and that sends the wrong message. 

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What I have been doing since 2016 is after all the food has been brought and we have ordered the last round of drinks I put on my MAGA hat.  If the server gives me any lip or a cross look they don’t get shite. If the act professional they get more. 

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Traditional tipping and tipping well is fine.

I don't have people around here who ask me for a tip if I buy a muffin or the rare time I go get a bacon egg and cheese from mcds.  That would be a bit goofy.  

I agree with a merit based system.  Otherwise you are encouraging minimal service.  

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14 minutes ago, edjr said:

That is the problem I think. We never under tip because the server sucks and that sends the wrong message. 

If its a place you go to often, its probably worth it. They will hopefully take care of you better in the long run.

Flip side, my best friend was dating a Hooters waitress years ago.  She was working Superbowl Sunday, so he talked me into watching the game there.  We walked in 15 minutes before kickoff and the line was out the door.  He calls her and she says she will come get us in.  So we're walking past all the people in the waiting area and getting yelled at.  She turns to one group making a scene and told them, they don't tip, so they can wait. Talking to her later she tells us how certain people expect special treatment and all her attention and still won't leave a tip at all.  Thats why she was fine treating them like crap. 

 

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Walked into a carry out joint that served pizza by the slice.  I got one slice that was already made and it was 5 dollars.  Kid then flips around the pad that said 15-20-25-30% tip or more.   For handing me a slice of pizza.  FU.  Went custom and no tip.

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Just now, Mike Hunt said:

Walked into a carry out joint that served pizza by the slice.  I got one slice that was already made and it was 5 dollars.  Kid then flips around the pad that said 15-20-25-30% tip or more.   For handing me a slice of pizza.  FU.  Went custom and no tip.

Thats insane.  I do not experience this.

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7 minutes ago, Mike Hunt said:

Walked into a carry out joint that served pizza by the slice.  I got one slice that was already made and it was 5 dollars.  Kid then flips around the pad that said 15-20-25-30% tip or more.   For handing me a slice of pizza.  FU.  Went custom and no tip.

I am getting really annoyed at pick up places. When you use a CC to pick up food, it asks if you want to tip and it starts with 18% :rolleyes:

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17 minutes ago, Mike Hunt said:

Walked into a carry out joint that served pizza by the slice.  I got one slice that was already made and it was 5 dollars.  Kid then flips around the pad that said 15-20-25-30% tip or more.   For handing me a slice of pizza.  FU.  Went custom and no tip.

I rarely tip on carry out food, fast food, Starbucks, etc. 

I regularly tip around 20% at sit-down places, or services like waxing or my hair dresser. 

Tips are automatically added to some food delivery services like Instacart or DoorDash, and if we use that I change it to the lowest amount. 

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44 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

What I have been doing since 2016 is after all the food has been brought and we have ordered the last round of drinks I put on my MAGA hat.  If the server gives me any lip or a cross look they don’t get shite. If the act professional they get more. 

Wearing a hat at the table is rude.

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like waxing

7 minutes ago, TheNewGirl said:

I rarely tip on carry out food, fast food, Starbucks, etc. 

I regularly tip around 20% at sit-down places, or services like waxing or my hair dresser. 

Tips are automatically added to some food delivery services like Instacart or DoorDash, and if we use that I change it to the lowest amount. 

 

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The past few years as we've seen more restaurants move to square, they have the default tip screen that forces you to select no tip.  I usually tip, throw a couple of bucks, help them out, be nice.

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I have a family member in assisted living.  We order him a subway sammich every sunday when we visit.  I use the app because they often have buy 2 get 1 free..and my wife and I go have lunch with him.

Anyway...to stay on topic...they updated their app to include tips..im like wtf?  I am picking it up...i dont need to tip my "sandwhich artist"  rofl.

I agree with the OP.  I am a 20% tipper to servers...i tip delivery guys...i round up my bills for ronald mcdonald house.etc.  But forget tipping someone who made the pizza I am picking up.

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3 minutes ago, Cloaca du jour said:

I have a family member in assisted living.  We order him a subway sammich every sunday when we visit.

Why do you hate your family member so much?

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Sometimes the server loses out because they add a tip on to the bill...usually 15%.  If the service is good..we usually tip 20+.  

The other day at outback..our food was horrible..overcooked...slow...just bad.  The server was awesome tho..you could tell he was frustrated with the kitchen.  He credited us our steaks..out tip was more than the bill...

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1 minute ago, Louie Kelcher said:

Why do you hate your family member so much?

He likes subway subs..spicy italian or turkey and ham.

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3 minutes ago, Louie Kelcher said:

Why do you hate your family member so much?

Its my wifes Uncle..he is handicapped and in a wheelchair.  His is like 72 yrs old..his sister and brothers are all elderly so we do most of the visiting, taking out for day trips etc.  It was rough during covid...couldnt see him.

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1 hour ago, edjr said:

https://apnews.com/article/tipping-fatigue-business-c4ae9d440610dae5e8ff4d4df0f88c35



 

I don't bartend currently, but I have the past however long. My chick still does and waitresses. She works from 1 to midnight on Sunday (a double) and often brings home $700 plus. 

When we go out, we tip 25% and if we know the person 30% or more.

 

 

20 minutes ago, Louie Kelcher said:

The past few years as we've seen more restaurants move to square, they have the default tip screen that forces you to select no tip.  I usually tip, throw a couple of bucks, help them out, be nice.

 

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From the article, and everything that's wrong with this concept:

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Schenker says it’s hard to sympathize with consumers who are able to afford pricey coffee drinks but complain about tipping. And he often feels demoralized when people don’t leave behind anything extra — especially if they’re regulars.

Tipping is about making sure the people who are performing that service for you are getting paid what they’re owed,” said Schenker, who’s been working in the service industry for roughly 18 years.

 

No, Schenker, you aren't OWED anything.  When I took my job I agreed to perform it for a rate of pay.  So did you.  And I really don't care if you want to leave a tip jar out. I tip when *I* want to, not when you think I should because you're "owed" something. 

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We always tip very well, I need to reassess. Service has really dipped recently and I've been rewarding mediocrity. 

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1 hour ago, listen2me 23 said:

Thats insane.  I do not experience this.

 

56 minutes ago, Cloaca du jour said:

I see it alot

It's happening everywhere and is the bigger point to this thread imo.  I mean the gal at the pet food store says to me as she flips the screen, "You don't have to leave a tip if you don't want". The foking pet food store where I just carried this 50 pound bag of dog food up to the register myself!?!?  If it wasn't for CC points I'd start paying for everything in cash.

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Servers should make min wage...tipping is extra...not guaranteed income...paying 4.75 or less to a server because of tips is archaic.

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4 hours ago, Ultra Max Power said:

Everyone starts out at a baseline of 15%.  Service is bad, I'll drop it.  Good, I'll raise it.

Sound like my co-worker: "Now let me think... the food was quick and she was nice, but she only filled my water once and I really don't like those disgusting tattoos..."  For the love of God, just throw some cash and let's go!  :mad:

My strategy:  Terrible service) 15%, Absolutely incredibly amazing service) 15% The exception is when that equals less than a buck. Then it's a buck.

I was a waiter, valet, and room service... 15% gets ya out the door without a dirty look.  And that was 20 years ago when prices were cheap. Beyond that is just throwing money away.

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Tipped my new barber ten today on a twenty dollar cut. 
 

 I always tip big. Used to the chubs”just the tip!” Worked every damn time. 

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5 hours ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

What I have been doing since 2016 is after all the food has been brought and we have ordered the last round of drinks I put on my MAGA hat.  If the server gives me any lip or a cross look they don’t get shite. If the act professional they get more. 

F****** move to Greenland a hole.

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6 hours ago, Mike Hunt said:

Walked into a carry out joint that served pizza by the slice.  I got one slice that was already made and it was 5 dollars.  Kid then flips around the pad that said 15-20-25-30% tip or more.   For handing me a slice of pizza.  FU.  Went custom and no tip.

Yup

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One of the things that sucks about tipping is lazy servers can take home bank in tips. Meanwhile, back of the house workers making minimum wage don't get a piece of those tips.

 

From what I routinely see, back of house workers are pretty much working non-stop until their shifts over.  Servers, once they've taken an order and then delivered food there's not much else to do.  Go to a restaurant and you'll likely see servers congregating and gossiping and checking their phones and all kinds of s***. 

 

As many problems as there are associated with it,  that's why I generally prefer tip pooling.  It's not perfect by any means. But at least  tries to level the field a little bit between front and back of house.

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2 minutes ago, wiffleball said:

One of the things that sucks about tipping is lazy servers can take home bank in tips. Meanwhile, back of the house workers making minimum wage don't get a piece of those tips.

 

From what I routinely see, back of house workers are pretty much working non-stop until their shifts over.  Servers, once they've taken an order and then delivered food there's not much else to do.  Go to a restaurant and you'll likely see servers congregating and gossiping and checking their phones and all kinds of s***. 

 

As many problems as there are associated with it,  that's why I generally prefer tip pooling.  It's not perfect by any means. But at least  tries to level the field a little bit between front and back of house.

So then how are we to properly reward big cans? 

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6 hours ago, RogerDodger said:

 

It's happening everywhere and is the bigger point to this thread imo.  I mean the gal at the pet food store says to me as she flips the screen, "You don't have to leave a tip if you don't want". The foking pet food store where I just carried this 50 pound bag of dog food up to the register myself!?!?  If it wasn't for CC points I'd start paying for everything in cash.

Rural shlt.  We dont do this stuff here.  I seen it at one place, subway.  No one here has to pay 1400 dollars for a 1 bedroom apartment.   Less begging.  

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34 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

So then how are we to properly reward big cans? 

Well, motorboating seems to be a nice gesture.

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40 minutes ago, listen2me 23 said:

Rural shlt.  We dont do this stuff here.  I seen it at one place, subway.  No one here has to pay 1400 dollars for a 1 bedroom apartment.   Less begging.  

huh? Are you saying this is only a problem in rural areas? I live in NYC suburbs and it's all over. Most recent place was Jersey Mikes. Even my local Diner, when picking up a takeout order will ask for a tip and i've started paying cash there now. Not leaving a tip makes me feel slightly bad but then I remind myself that the only service I was given beyond the normal scope of the job was bagging up my food. 

I have yet to see it at a chain store like Target or Shoprite but I also use self checkout wherever possible so no idea if you had someone scan your items for you.... but it would not shock me in the least. 

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12 minutes ago, wiffleball said:

Well, motorboating seems to be a nice gesture.

But they have to pay extra for their bigger bras and deal with the back pain for my enjoyment.  The dishwasher has no such burden. 

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1 hour ago, WhiteWonder said:

huh? Are you saying this is only a problem in rural areas? I live in NYC suburbs and it's all over. Most recent place was Jersey Mikes. Even my local Diner, when picking up a takeout order will ask for a tip and i've started paying cash there now. Not leaving a tip makes me feel slightly bad but then I remind myself that the only service I was given beyond the normal scope of the job was bagging up my food. 

I have yet to see it at a chain store like Target or Shoprite but I also use self checkout wherever possible so no idea if you had someone scan your items for you.... but it would not shock me in the least. 

Im saying the opposite 

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1 minute ago, listen2me 23 said:

Im saying the opposite 

okay makes more sense.  the "rural shiit" part made me think you were saying this was a rural issue.

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1 hour ago, WhiteWonder said:

huh? Are you saying this is only a problem in rural areas? I live in NYC suburbs and it's all over. Most recent place was Jersey Mikes. Even my local Diner, when picking up a takeout order will ask for a tip and i've started paying cash there now. Not leaving a tip makes me feel slightly bad but then I remind myself that the only service I was given beyond the normal scope of the job was bagging up my food. 

I have yet to see it at a chain store like Target or Shoprite but I also use self checkout wherever possible so no idea if you had someone scan your items for you.... but it would not shock me in the least. 

Also not leaving a tip shouldn't make you feel any which way if you meant it.  

I am more than willing to tip generously for traditional things.  A delivery comes up to my place?  They probably get the most %.  Restaurant?  20% or so depending.   Just do a solid job.  

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