Death

If a never-ending fusillade of lawsuits is what you consider "winning," you're a bigger idiot than I imagined. His batty election-challenge lawsuits cost this country $500 million. And he lost every single one of them. Not winning.

Jesus didn't call people fools and make mom jokes. You're a hypocrite.

You're about a Christ-like as a fire ant.

We shall see about that!

What a petty, petulant man-child. Some of you were saying he didn't really mean it when he threatened to pull the plug on ABC News.

Disqualified from being nominated: Drizzay

Pity bump.

I can just rename this thread the nomination thread.

I don't think sux has any aliases. I don't consider him a troll, either.

This is not a bright comparison. Alex Jones was a Sandy Hook denier, paid dearly for it and admitted he made it up. ABC settled to get a peanuts lawsuit off its back in a semantics battle of rape vs. sexual abuse. The guy who bragged about getting away with such things. They're both right-wing shitstains.

IT'S A CONSPIRACY!

MAXIPAD OVERDRIVE, B!TCHES!

Judge says fock you to Clownzo bid to toss hush-money conviction.

Don't know what it says. Don't care what it says. Peefoam is as useless as teets on a junebug.

I once wrote a 128-inch feature on prairie chickens for the Corpus Christi newspaper. To give you an idea of how long that is, it would cover an entire newspaper page, not including headline and photos. The prairie chickens were like the buffalo. People in the 1800s just slaughtered them for the hell of it, only prairie chickens need huge numbers to survive because they're stupid as fock and make their nests on the ground, making them vulnerable to everything. They're not good eating, unlike buffalo, so it was a meaningless prairie-chicken holocaust, which I'm sure Cdub would deny because he's into denying mass murders. Anyhoo, I finished writing that prairie-chicken piece and moved it over for the city editor to read. A few minutes later, he screamed: "A FOCKING 128-INCH STORY ON PRAIRIE CHICKENS?!!?!?!?!?!?" I calmly walked over and said, "Just read it." His eyes were glued to the screen as my story took him on an epic prairie-chicken journey. After he got to the end, he said, "That's the best damned prairie-chicken story I've ever read." Not only did every inch of it make the paper, skipping from page to page to page, it also in its entirety made the national AP wire. I doubt any paper ran the whole thing, but by gawd I got a 128-inch prairie-chicken story on the motherfocking Associated Press wire.

I drink and I know things.

Pity bump.

If what little you have in the way of reading-comprehension skills had kicked in, you would have seen that I wrote that tumbleweeds overnight had covered the whole city - blocking roads, making Little League ballparks unusable, closing down airport runways and posing a huge headache for city crews trying to clear them. They're spiky and not very compactable, so it took a long time to clear those things. It was like a focking biblical tumbleweed plague, the likes of which the city had no record of ever seeing. In addition to the trouble they caused, I included information about he history and biology of them. Known as Russian thistle, their seeds came over in flaxseed shipments. They owe their proliferation to their weak root systems. Wind blows them from where they start growing, and they drop seeds as they tumble along. Mesquite trees proliferated in a similar manner, only with some help. Cattle ate mesquite beans during drives and then pooped them out as they went north, starting well-fertilized mesquite saplings for hundreds of miles. For the tumbleweed story, I even included a recipe I found for tumbleweed soup. The news-story spectrum is broad and includes everything from the hard-hitting to the fluffy features, so you just further underscore your ignorance when you thumb your nose at a reporter who writes a feature story. I had plenty of hard-hitting, award-winning investigative pieces in my journey, and my tumbleweed story got picked up and run in every Associated Press-subcribing publication in America, with my name on it. You probably ran across it during your creepy research of my wife, ex-wives and sons, whom you hope get raped or die in a war. That tumbleweed story alone brought me more recognition than you ever got shaking down shoplifters in your mall-cop job, so suck it long and suck it hard, Pickles. I had another national AP wire story about Texor getting the short end of a deal in which it traded Oregon thousands of wild turkeys in exchange for elk, but I'll save that for another post.

I'm surprised you think a story about tumbleweeds would win a Pulitzer.

It sucked living out there. The maximum highway speed limit was 55, so it took focking forever to get to civilization in Dallas, Austin or wherever. It was nice being only five hours from ski slopes, but there isn't much to do out there. Odessa is nastier than any border town I've ever been to. Trashed out buildings and garbage everywhere. Midland at the time at least was kind of clean. Big fun on a Saturday night was to get a pitcher of beer and sit in a safe corner of an ice house or something and watch the fights. There'd at least be two or three good fights every night, with a barrel-chested oilfield workers slugging it out and smashing people into tables just like in the Wild West. The women all had these thick West Texas accents and huge hairdos, and most of them were sex-hungry sluts. The only thing to do out there was fock, fight and drink. Midland these days is just as bad. I don't know where or when they came from, but the whole town and surrounding prairie is covered in plastic bags. The land is flat as a pancake, so you can see the bags for miles and miles. "Landman" does a good job of nailing all this. My wife hates it, which makes me laugh because I focking LIVED that sh!t for four or five years. One morning I awoke to find a car-sized tumbleweed on my front porch. The whole town overnight had become covered in them thanks to just the right circumstances of wind and tumbleweed-growth stage. I wrote a story about it, and it made the national Associated Press wire.

MAGAturds are going to whip up a conspiracy theory out of this if it's the last thing they do, by cracky!

Can size!

I like some aspects of "Landman," and Billy Bob is hilarious. Having lived in the Midland-Odessa area for like four years, I can vouch that those characters are pretty damned accurate, from the flashy women to roughnecks to the oil executives. My wife hates the show, so we've moved on to something else.

Thank you for this pubic service announcement.