Finbabble Garp

Sabbatical.

I wanted so badly when I first got here for phillybear not to be one of the dumb ones. But oh well.

It has nothing to do with the government or its perceived overreach. That's the shtick of Glenn Beck disciples and others incapable of thinking. People who evaluate things in real world terms and can think for themselves don't fall prey to such juvenile pap and twaddle. Of course, they also don't say things like, "support abortion," so where does that leave us? Lulz. It's entirely sensible and logically coherent to support a woman's right to choose as well as gun control, since both stances protect real actual human people, and allow them the maximum possible chance to place themselves in situations that are safest and most secure for their own personal well-beings. They are, in fact, both pro-freedom stances. They just happen to value the freedom of women over the freedom of undeveloped clusters of that very woman's own cells, just as they value the freedom of the public as a whole over the freedom of the rogue gun enthusiast who's convinced the U.S. Government is about to turn tyrannical and seize everything they own.

We're talking about people who push the panic button every time gas goes up a nickel, or some tax or another might leap by a fraction of a percent. Calibrate accordingly.

Always a pleasure to hear the thoughts of a plumber on the topic of rhetorical logic.

You know you were once short, but are now tall, if you have an electric toothbrush and can dunk a basketball! I get it now. Rhetorical logic doesn't demand acknowledgement of the initial premise, only multiple random examples of stuff that may or may not have anything to do with the conclusion.

For one thing, the spelling was on the good side of marginal.

Well, that clears things up.

So much truth comes out of Madison, Alabama.

Because I saw Cabin in the Woods, and that would be awesome if he were.

Is Daniel actually a merman?

The point was you know you're in a country that was founded by geniuses by looking at things that have nothing to do with the founding of the country? I'm pretty sure you're a dumbarse. But happily, not as big a dumbarse as the guy who wrote the list. Or the guy who copied it.

You can argue all you want about whether or not fetuses are people, but they're certainly not Americans.

I mean, thank God the Founding Fathers had the foresight to take a stand on ID requirements for boarding a transcontinental flight.

Very few of those things have anything to do with those who founded the country. This was a list written and subsequently promoted by idiots. Also, down with liberalism.

Thank God I'm not so poor that some West Coast Liberal tart's middle-income pension bothers me.

Syracuse 80 - Indiana 67. Big Ten is a clown show this year, except for MSU.

Stolen from Dice Clay.

You get a little fat, you look nice and curvy...You get a little skinny, you look waifish. Push. You get a lot fat, you look repulsively blobbish...You get a lot skinny, you look repulsively skeletal. Push. You get even fatter than that, and you're too repulsive to even consider sexually, but at least you got pizza...You get even skinnier than that, you're dead. Advantage, fatty.

Borrowed time. You're on it.

This chick has a really bad overbite.

Nothing could be more humiliating for our tragically liberal nation than plummeting to 18th twice, in successive years.

A fruitcake show for hippy educated liberal thinky types.

But yeah, this one is just because Furf is recognizably duh.