It was my fault. I lost my temper.
My wife's friend Cindy was visiting us. I had been mowing the grass when my wife called out to me that dinner was ready. By the time I had finished mowing, both of them had already eaten.
So I sit down to eat and Cindy says aloud that her husband always eats when she does. Then I hear her say that her husband always wears a tie at the dinner table. A few other things I didn't hear.
Then she has the audacity to say to my wife but within my earshot that I smell bad.
So I got up and poured my chicken alfredo over her head.
Showered really quickly and waited for the cops because I knew she would call them.
The cops understood the situation and actually gave me a chance to avoid being taken in custody by saying it was an accident. I didn't. I said I did it on purpose.
And off to jail I went.