The Elevator Killer

Breaking News. Andromeda Galaxy calls off merger with Milky Way.

The good news is that the 3I/Atlas comet is now heading out of the solar system.

Pluto said WTF was that?

They would say they supported Ukulele.

I meant they didn't know the name of any other country.

They wanted to say Yes, but then they would have to know the name of another country.

It's like posting with Weepaws.

I came to answer Edjr, but it wasn't going to top that.

Welcome to the urinal. Your leaf looks a little wilted. Let me "water" it for you.

She broke the ocean.

Just make sure you don't say, "Let me help you with that."

The Island of Misfit Ho's.

Get back in the vegetable bin where you belong.

If your IQ was any lower we would need the guy from Idiocracy that could talk to plants to communicate with you.

That's the thickest sirloin I've ever seen.

Shouldn't someone be throwing you onto the court at a WNBA game?

The Women Beaters

You look like a young Heather Locklear.

You just wait until your father gets home from work.

And it was almost ready to add the noodles.

Don't complain. Preseason used to be 6 unwatchable games instead of 3.

A bottle of Idiot Be Gone to take to Hollywood, Washington and Gay Pride Parades. Not to get rid of all gays, just the ones that think the world evolves around their sexuality. There may be more destinations.

I just remembered a crazy dream where my wife's parents had volunteered me to play the lead in a church production of Bye Bye Birdie. They told me this and the curtain was going up in an hour. Plus the production was in Portuguese or something. So not only did I have to learn my lines in hour, it had to be in Portuguese.