Thornton Melon

Just to tell her I'm sorry that her bulbous head would've stretched out the neck of my sweater.

Yeah, I want to see McDavid get one.

Good for Ukraine. I'm rooting for them, but they can do it without my tax money

Buck Naked

It comes mounted on concrete blocks. Customers provide their own wheels.

My company repainted all the campus crosswalks in pride colors. We got an e-mail last week telling employees to exercise caution in the rain because people have been slipping on the newly painted crosswalks. I guess they're gonna be redone with new sand infused paint or something to fix them. What's a few broken wrists or dislocated shoulders? Our crosswalks are fabuloussss!!!

If the pitcher has a nice ass, it's not bad. Otherwise, meh.

Yeah, that's what she told you

Semen But in my defense, it was my own

I don't know if you've earned the right to call anyone "phaggot" after wearing that hat! But yeah, when your employer gives you a dress code, you either do it, or quit. Your choice.

Tom Petty - Mary Jane's Last Bang

My first reaction to this was that she did back into him, but she was so drunk off her ass that she didn't remember, so in her own mind, she's innocent. But, I've been purposely ignoring any news stories about this. There's an update on Boston.com every day, and I just pass it by. I honestly don't care how this turns out. I did watch the documentary with my wife, since she was interested, but to me it didn't bring any clarity. The only thing that concerns me about the case is the fact that about a week after the first trial was declared a mistrial for a supposed hung jury, the jury foreman came out and said they actually voted 12-0 to acquit her on 2 of the 3 charges, including the murder charge. Several other jurors backed up his statement. I don't know if this was an f-up on the jury's part or the judge's part in declaring a hung jury, but it doesn't make sense to me. Isn't each charge taken separately? She lost the appeal to throw out the murder charge for the second trial, so here we are. And now, I'm back to not caring.

The first statue with Type 2 diabetes

Meh, maybe not. Who knows? When I first watched, it was on my phone, so of course I'm looking at a tiny screen. On my laptop, it still looks like a napkin, but then I saw the other guy hide some indecipherable object. So, two people hiding something does look more suspicious. I guess my initial reaction was based on the limited capabilities of a phone screen, plus the recent whack job posting history of the OP.

You sure you weren't the one doing drugs? It looks like a napkin.

I'm impressed you're that flexible at your age

The Rapists for $800

I remember that 45. It was either Sugar Pops or Sugar Smacks cereal. I'm still waiting for my Jean Lafoote football I ordered in 1971 with a bunch of Captain Crunch box tops.

I memorized the Dylan Thomas poem Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Good thing you're studying. There's a quiz on Monday.

Southern Man I can't stand Sweet Home Alabama

Batman

The muffled cries of the hooker in the trunk

It was reported by a Catholic priest

Can I fast forward to retirement?