William Bradford

This is why you're out of the will, dummy. You haven't gotten laid in decades. Yet this honey pot is sooooo hitting on you, and you do your best to blow it. She would have at least jiggled your yambag in the parking lot with her toofless gums. That's like the world's greatest water slide. Sheeeeet. When that Golde4n Shower Girl strutted her way out of the check out line, what did you spend your food stamps on? The Kennedys are coming by to brag about their kids again, so I have to leave now and go hide in shame.

The family has been trying to prune this part of the family tree for years. My wooden teeth hurt.

Giants Fan is now ruining multiple family trees. GFIAFP is the evil offspring of Great, Great, Great Cousin Elmo having horrific sex with a pussywillow.

I'm so focking dizzy from spinning in my grave. Somebody stop this merry go round. My great, great, great, great grandson is fruity, sloppy power bottom.

Kill thyself, fagg!t.

I'm getting dizzy from spinning in my grave. GFIAFP.

You were born a poor black child. In other words, you're adopted. When we move across the country, it's a hint to stop trying to find us.

The family had a discussion. You're out of the will. Nice a nice day.

"P"GFIAFP.