tony hardware

Nice friend you are, did you kick him in the balls and screw his wife too?

I once lived in a town immediately south of Boston with a large asian community and there was a little storefront on a side street off the main street called "Asian Massage" or something. If they don't do it there, then they don't do it anywhere! I might check it out.

Yes, yes, is this "release" term part of the CMT underground vernacular?

Problems: 1) the bum is a witness 2) sharks will not eat the entire body, i.e. bones, some will be left for evidence 3) There are no sharks in Montana 4) The suit can be found in a dumpster 5) The whole time he's driving to Montana, the police will be wondering why John Doe has been missing for three days, the same time Jane Doe has been missing.

I'm gonna go fall down the stairs on my back while leaving work today. FS, just make sure you go there with an empty tank, rub a few out between now and then, that way you get your moneys worth.

Do you offer a "release" ? YES! My little sister used to respond to me like this when she was 13.

I thought you were a project manager. Make up your mind.

Could you prolong your life by getting something that took a while to eat, e.g. a bag of Jolly Ranchers?

This man is on to something.

And who shall be my successor? That would be like Caesar stepping down in his prime.

With a cigar bar, you could have crazy markup. You could find ways to buy them duty free, like drive to canada and smuggle them back or go on a lot of cruises. The part about using your leftover stock is a good idea by me. A little red carpet, nice furniture, you could have something going there.

Looks like high-rent district. No wonder you're going out of business. You should link up with the Birkenstock guy and open a shop called "C0cks and Birkenstocks"

I don't think I've ever been first. I win! This day shall live in infamy.

You should open a cigar bar. Those are cool. You could have women serve in your leftover stock.

Some women might be intimidated by lingerie stores. Why don't you go door to door?

Sometimes I see people dressed like a Dunkin Donuts cup handing out coupons on the street. It's a shame you can't get some chick to dress up in a nighty and hand out coupons in the parking lot. Or, what if you decided to focus just on plus size lingerie . . . wait, nevermind.

I want to punch that guy in the neck.

Sex for me is like the strength-building setting on the eliptical at the gym. For every five times, I'll go four short and quick and one long and hard. Then get really tired and thirsty after.

I was just asking for a friend.

Meh . . . I think I'll still have the chicken fingers.

I said something dirty, but deleted it. So I'll take chicken fingers and a klondike bar.

Are Asian chicks the only ones who give happy endings? How do you broach this subject with a therapist without getting slapped or arrested?

Maybe you would get more if you let him fall asleep immediately after sex.

What about cutting product lines that aren't selling well and expanding the lines of your most popular brands? I imagine women want sexy underwear that is also comfortable and practical that they can wear everyday, to feel sexy. I know I wouldn't want a thong in my ass, maybe you could target this product and advertise a "sexy and comfortable, lingerie everyday" theme.

Man, that sounds like a great 90 seconds.