It's been 20 years since my best friend passed away

[cmh6476 1,129]

May 2, 2004 is to this day, the worst day I've ever experienced.  The day I got the call that my brother was no longer with us.  I still have probably 20 printed pages of the thread I started here that I think was simply titled "My bro is gone".  So many of you offered words of encouragement and support.  Guys like gratefulted (RIP) actually mailed me a DVD rom with music they both thoroughly enjoyed, that included some live performances that I attended as well as my brother.

On Tuesday I went to the Sessanta show and felt closer to him than I have in a long time.  He loved live music and I know he was right there with me.  I was in a bit of an altered state that night, but I fondly recall the trees swaying as the storm approached and the beautiful earthy colors, and then the storm and light hail rolling through, and finally the sky opening up and sun's rays peeking through the clouds.  And all night long it was a wet mess.  Everywhere I went I felt like a river of water was following me along and I simply could not escape it.  My clothes were still damp this morning from the Tuesday night show. 

For a moment I was reminded of peenie's thread and feeling that the Earth really was alive, and people who have now gone before me (my brother, my dad, grandparents, even people who are still living that just weren't there, seemed to be with me in that moment as I felt their soul with me), and that eventually I too will be laid to rest and eventually be part of the Earth myself, with only memories of those who will outlive me remaining in additional to whatever soul I leave in my wake.

I definitely appreciated you all being there for me back then.  It's these anniversaries that really bring it all back full circle and remind how much you really miss people and that you are simply on borrowed time.

[Maximum Overkill 2,453]

24 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

May 2, 2004 is to this day, the worst day I've ever experienced.  The day I got the call that my brother was no longer with us

My deepest condolences. It's supposed to get easier over time but unfortunately it never does. Hold on to all the positive memories.