frank

BAM!

Like Freud is spelled wrong or something.

Jesus is just alright.

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.

Mars needs women.

Hold on.

You have barely any points and you are down 50-0?

It annoys me when people unnecessarily use the word “different”. You could just say you are reading 5 books. Did you think we would think you are reading 5 copies of the same book?

I always thought any good comedian should be able to deal with hecklers. They are drunk and you can be prepared. Have at least three generic put downs that will work on anyone ready to go if necessary.

We should all write jokes. Bunny can use any or all that meet his high standards.

I like the Whopper, fock the Big Mac!

That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard.

I always wondered if she knows a stallion is a male horse.

So you are somewhere between 0 and 100 years old.

I think it was Hertz.

An accent.

WKRP

Only one NFL quarterback has been predicted to throw for 5,000 yards.

It’s about time. What has become of this place?

That’s exactly what someone in the mob would say.