lickin_starfish

I spent $2500 on an engagement ring/ wedding band that locked together. It was very nice until she lost it. Now she only has a plain ol' gold band that I bought as a replacement.

My mother cooks it in spaghetti sauce.

I would have nursed it back to health and read it bedtime stories. We would also play in the flower patch together. We would be best friends.

I suspect that someone also enjoys planting flower gardens and having tea parties...

You should buy a Honda Pilot. If you buy either of the trucks that you are considering, then you are a terrorist. j/k Get the Denali

A man who rapes boys is a bigger threat to society than a woman who gives her poontang to boys. Yes, both are crimes, but one is just plain disgusting.

Ice cream.

I think that the nurses at the bottom of the elevator in the Silent Hill movie are pretty hot.

My wife just haaaaad to have an elliptical trainer. It sits in our bedroom collecting dust as her ass gets wider and her stomach flops lower.

Here's an idea: Instead of creating new taxes, how about spending tax money wisely?

Kyra Sedgwick's ugly face prevents me from watching the show.

This is no big deal. There will be another one to take his place.

He sounds like the ###### high school friend of mine who doesn't talk to me, but calls and e-mails my wife.

I watched American Idol once. That was one too many times.

We have your "yesterday" weather here today. 90 in Central New York.

I suspect that NewbieJr enjoys weiners in his heiney.

Don't use pirated software.

Anal cramps are the worst.

I opened it to call you a homo.

Can someone explain to me why a man would watch American Idol? Can you also explain why these men would then post about it on a football website?

Who is Taylor Hicks?

Who the heck is James Taylor , and what does he do?

No offense taken.

Hayden Christensen, Ralf Lauren, Shirley Temple.

Every time I fart, I don't know if it will squirt or not.