BunnysBastatrds

Holy Diver…

Hells Bells. You posted that Jesus is coming. Where? On your face or back?

What has four eyes and can’t see? Mississippi.

Lizards and geekos eat bi-gender BUGS. Before you know it, the snakes we have we have eat them.

I had brunch with wifey poo Sunday. Very nice. On the way home she pulled into Sally’s Beauty Supplies. She needed half dye. Me: You dyed it a few days ago. Wifey gets out of car, so I go in. It’s packed with ugly peoples. So I’m standing by wifey and she’s asking me what color do I like? Me: Whatever matches the carpet. Wifey: you didn’t even notice last night? Typical man. I removed the carpet last week and it’s porcelain now you big dummy! And i was about to respond, this two hundred fifty lbs black can of biscuits wearing zebra pants and moose knuckle and a Nirvana “Smells Like Teen Spirit” shirt and barefooted. Me: WTF!!!??? Moos Knuckle: You better recognize!

I’ll quit. I tried to call my sponsor but he’s in Cleveland and won’t respond. So……

What is really impressive about this, is her wake board skills whilst drinking wine. Very impressive. And notice she’s not holding the rope and riding the wake of the boat. o

I never wanted to be a ref till I saw this…

Who needs jumping or slides

Haha…Somebody is going to their wife after feeling like And since you can bait, they use malasis here. Deers apparently have a sweet tooth.

You know why they call golf, golf? Fawk was taken

White Wonder tells Sux, “You must be nutz over her.” The first thing I thought of was grease monkey Sux at sixteen like? I closed my eyes when the meds and kewrs lite kicked in and I had a dream. Picture this… Sux gets his fob at local gas station in Californication. The owner sees he kind of mentally challenged.He hires to pump gas, charge oil and tire pressure, etc. His first day on the job, busts his ass. The boss wants him to drop the soap in the shower, butt was patiently awaiting. So TNG pulls up to get her, ughh, fluid changed.She’s driving a blue convertible 911 Porche. Wearing a low cut sundress. Sux started but wen to ask the boss what doe because she was very friendly. Boss: Nice Jethro. Tell er how pretty she is and what a beautiful day. He goes back and uses the boss’ advice. TNG spends three minutes explaining how she was going to a vineyard to smash grapes in a barrel , with a big smile. Sux gets nervous so he goes to boss. Sux; Her skirt is shorter than it was when she got here. Boss Wow…you? OK, here’s what you do. Show her your nuts. He goes back and says that twenty one dollars. With a smile she says thank you. What does Jethrow Sux do…

… all you have to eat are coconuts and clams. You’re dreaming about having your last drink and sex.Then instant karma happens. That bum you gave a Jackson to many moons ago and that hooker in Minnesota pays off. A pint flask of whiskey is on the beach. It has”RUB Me And Chug Me” written on it. So you say “Fawkin A” And followed the directions and are rewarded. It’s Ana Nichole Smith ( when she was smoking hot) and she says you get three wishes Master. What do you desire? Holly fawking heaven… What are your three wishes from genie Ana Nicole Smith?

I’m not being disrespectful. It’s been forty five years since? My work friends were crude and had no filter. I was at a bar one night and a guy buys everybody a round. So Johnnny stands up to make a toast to grandma. He says something along the lines of she was an incredible woman who made the best lasagna and raised some beautiful children. And I also hope she forgives me for the stealing of her vicadins for all those years from her bathroom. Salute!!! At that point he was long gone. And he said something I will never forget. “ Her jaw dropped decade ago.” 🥹

If these three came out of the bottle, I’m out of wishes. NSFW

Guess I’ll ad this here since you said water down…

She was a nice lady. Until she molested me on a bench in front of the tigers at the San Antonio Zoo in February. It was kind of really strange. I was invited to cvm to the funeral in Kissimmee FL. Again, I wasn’t up for it.

The only wiser person at a Hooters is Bud.

The universe works in mysterious ways. I was reading this thread again and thank you for the kindness, I really appreciate it. So, the phone quacks, my ringer. It’s a number I don’t recognize but it was 504 area code and I answered. It was a woman named Asia. She said she is calling on me through DePaul and said they were looking over the test results from my last visit and wanted to know if I wanted an appointment with a therapist. Said yes and how crazy this world is. Me: Yes mam.ASAP if you can. My new wifey and I were discussing this last night. And TNG said the same. Asia: OK, great. December 7th at 1:00. I’ll text you the details. And who is TNG? Me: A beautiful woman who cares about all.

Why? Do you want some Irish in ya?

It’s a Nawlins thing the wemen yats speak…

Roses are red, violets are hazel/green,/brown, And so are your boobies to.

Thank you. All of y’all mean a lot to me. I reconnected with my daughter, which has my heart and soul feeling so very happy. I have a grandson that is so beautiful. I met my brother for the first time last weekend, which was an incredible experience. I’m taking these mood pills and blood pressure medicine. I’ve cut my alcohol intake. I’m pretty much the happiest I’ve been in five years. I just have now shake this addiction to YT… But I sure do learn much.

…in Vegas also.