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FU to Noah Can't, oops Noah Fant. Healthy enough to start, but so sick he had to run back to the locker room after a play or two. But I will admit it is partly my fault for not dropping this spazz many weeks ago.

I feel it's only fair to update that my FU seemed to work, as my opponent Didn't get enough from their KC duo or DST to catch me. So I limp into the playoffs with the most points scored and a 6-7 record.

Picked up Akers for the playoffs as I just snuck in, had to decide between Akers / Hunt / David Johnson. So far I'm glad I picked Akers. Also glad Akers was flying under the radar a bit so I still had the chance to get him.

FU to Fantasy Football in general. I'm leading my league in points, and if I get one more Mahomes to Kelce TD hookup against me I'm going to lose my final game, go 6-7, and miss the playoffs. F this game. Oh yeah I had Herbert, really the only decent QB available when Dak broke his ankle. FU to Herbert too. FU to Dak's ankle. FU Dalvin for fumbling on the one yard line. FU A.J. Brown for fumbling on the one yard line and making Corey F'in Davis look like a star. And FU M. Thomas for doing nothing the first 10 weeks and very little since then.

It's years like this that make me appreciate TEs like Noah Fant and his 3.5 PPG (non-PPR) average since Week 3. Might as well just be starting one of his bowel movements.

Well it's not like they trust Cousins and his 15 / 10 TD to INT ratio throwing the ball.

Michael Thomas says hi. (Playing Punch-Out! with a teammate doesn't count as an injury.)

Both QBs playing like turds, but at least DiNucci is only costing the Boys $610,000 this year, while Wentz is pulling down an average of $32,000,000 in his four year contract.

If your bench QB is Cam and the best QB on the waiver wire is Baker Mayfield, Herbert is pretty much set and forget.

DJ was dropped in my 10-team league last week (before he caught 2 TDs). Didn't have the waiver priority to snag him. Apparently I dodged a bullet.

It's hard to catch a pass with an old immobile QB running for his life on almost every play. Now he'll be catching passes from 7th round camp fodder who is somehow now the best QB in Dallas.

I did that last week too and realized this wasn't the old MVP Cam. Luckily Herbert was still available for this week.

FU Michael Thomas. First time I've heard of a player tweaking his hammy while sitting on his ass during the Bye week. Total of 1.7 points (non-PPR) thru 7 weeks.

Cincy dumped him for a reason.

This week Matty Berry called Dalton a "professional QB" and said he would be Top 12 for the rest of the year. reminds me why I watch ESPN fantasy shows for entertainment value only.

What a wuss!

Davante does almost nothing and then gets hurt again. Thanks for nothing, consensus #1 WR.

FU Eric Ebron, you worthless sack of pus. Noah Fant was inactive today due to injury, and I picked you up to cover for him. I would have been better off picking up a used tampon. The Steelers score 38 points, yet all you can manage is 2 receptions for 9 yards. FU. On the bright side, my opponent picked up and started Mattison so I still have a chance. Edit: But I have Davante, who did next to nothing before getting hurt again, so now I have no chance. FU too.

My fantasy team thru Week 5 ... - Record in the league 1-3, soon to be 1-4 - My Points For is #3 out of 10, but my Points Against is #1. All but one team put up their high score of the year against me. - My top two auction picks (Davante and Micheal Thomas) have one decent game between them over the first 5 weeks. Third WR (AJ Brown), Fifth WR (Diontae Johnson), and TE (Fant) also out. - My top RB (Dalvin) just went down with a groin injury. - My QB (Dak) is now out for the year. I'll probably have to replace him with a rookie. There is no God.

He used to be OK in fantasy because he usually managed to put up a bunch of garbage time stats. He can't even do that anymore. Bench him.

Jerry Jones refused to give Dak a contract and will now say this proves he was right. F*** Jerry. Hope the Cowboys get humiliated every game from here on out.

Rumor now is that he is out, per Schefter.

Axe Elf has upside?

Team A trading his only starting RB for a backup who will be droppable once CMC is back in a week? Shady AF.

I picked up AJ Green at the very end of my auction draft, paid a few dollars. So far it looks like I massively overpaid, I know he was hurt in the past quite a bit, but never saw him this ineffective when healthy. Any chance he comes back somewhat, or is it time to cut bait?