t.j. booker

I’ve been on Tinder ever since the divorce and final got a match … SHE SWIPED RIGHT! We’re going out for dinner on Friday! I want to be prepared in case things go really good if you catch my drift hehehe. Anybody here taking any pharmaceutical enhancements?

The wife gets the house, both cars, and all the cash. Then she sleeps with the husband’s best friends and brags about it on Facebook.

My fellow Geeks. When I saw Mike’s warning this week I got to thinking about what we could all do lower the temperature around here. While there are many areas for improvement, like no more personal attacks and threats of violence, I thought a simple quick win would be kinder emoji usage. Over the last few years I’ve noticed some mean spirited and irresponsible use of emojis, like sobby sad face emoji, confusedy face emoji, and sarcastic use of laughy faced emoji, like the way Gloria laughed when I caught her in bed the first time with Lamar. It is unkind. It is hurtful. And it has to stop. My modest proposal is for kinder, gentler, and more respectful emoji usage. So the next time you’re going to put a confusedy face or sobby sadface on a fellow Geek’s post, as yourself: How would this make TJ Booker feel? Then “turn that frown upside down” and click the smiley happedy face or the hearty likeface emoji instead. Like and subscribe if you’re with me!

Sometimes while taking a bubble bath. Who’s with me?

After Gloria left I told my boss that I needed a few weeks off with pay to process my feelings and work through my anxiety. He said “It’s a sporting goods store TJ, the shelves aren’t going to stock themselves! Get back to work you fat fock!” Ironically that made me cry during my shift and he sent me home. So I got an afternoon out of it at least.

I’ve do it with melted butter and Reeces Pieces … it was the bomb!

DOUBLE Big Macs!!! Limited time only. Do you think these will hold up in a freezer? Four all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun!

Gloria liked a pounder too!

I was pretty when I was young.

Hell yeah it’s a real thing! I have full pizza insurance coverage, an app that tells me when my blood sugar levels are low and I need pizza, and another app to tell me where the nearest pizzeria is! This is one health emergency TJ won’t ever have to deal with!

Her name is Veronica and she’s four bills, at least. I see her at the Chuck-a-Rama a few times a week especially on Wednesdays (king crab night). She has a rep for picking up guys from the Greater Boise buffet circuit. I saw her in line tonight and she said “Tee-jay! Ha com you nevah axe me out?” I got sort of flummoxed and told her I’m still technically married. ”Dontchu be holdin out on me Tee-jay! Ima gonna get me sum that!” It’s been 5 years since I last got some. I’m thinking about going for it.

If they repeal it in Idaho will Gloria come home?

Gloria gave me an STI and 7 years of alimony payments!

After Gloria left I had some feelings of depression and physical, sexual, and financial inadequacy. My therapist Ron told me to look in the mirror every morning and say, “T.J., you are good enough, smart enough, and gosh darnit - people like you!” Just repeating these words every morning helped keep the negative thoughts at bay and put me in a better headspace. Years later I caught Gloria blowing Ron in a Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot.

If you’re in my way that’s on you.

Ollie Briggs used to make me wear lipstick and do the “tuck dance” in the locker room in middle school.

Every time I see this thread I hear it to tune of the Hot Pockets jingle. Locked Topics!