Kids superglue davebg's sack to exercise bike and crap in his home

[GettnHuge 2]

Bowling Green, Mongolia - A gang of 2nd graders stripped davebg before supergluing him to an exercise bicycle while they crapped in his house, according to a report Thursday.

 

SAPA news agency said the attackers, dressed in Spongebob tshirts, hijacked the man weighing 3-fitty and forced him with spitballs to take them to his home in Bowling Green.

 

“The victim was then forced to strip, after which he was superglued to the seat of an exercise bicycle by his sack, his hands were superglued, as were his feet and then his mouth was superglued shut,” SAPA quoted Mark Suckyuu, a spokesman for emergency services Netcare 911, as saying.

 

The man was rescued about three hours later when his partner burt arrived home, his sack was not so lucky SAPA said.

 

Bowling Green is battling one of the world’s highest crime rates which has prompted concerns that violence might mar the 2010 Rainbow Coalition parade, which the city is due to host.

 

A police spokesman was laughing too hard to comment on the report. No one at Netcare 911 could be reached.

 

 

[Strike 5,547]

See I would have crapped on his patio and blamed the b!tch upstairs.