Sad: Chicago Mayor Has No One To Award Reparations To Because Everyone Got Murdered

[seafoam1 2,927]

CHICAGO, IL — In a tragic turn of events, Mayor Brandon Johnson's planned Chicago Reparations Program had to be abandoned after it turned out that everyone in Chicago was already murdered and thus could not receive reparations.

Sources claim that the news came as a stunning blow to Mayor Johnson, who had been working so hard on this initiative that he completely failed to realize the rampant crime and violence that had slowly engulfed his city.

"My fellow Chicagoan," Johnson announced to the one other living survivor in the city in a press conference. "I am incredibly saddened to bring you the news that we will be unable to enact the much-awaited racial reparations because all of our citizens who would've qualified are now dead. In fact, as I am the sole remaining person of color in the city, it seems that all of the reparations fall due to me."

"I therefore assume the weighty responsibility of taking upon myself all of my former citizens' reparations," Johnson continued. "It's what they'd want."

While several rumors outside the city indicate that searches skipped over a resident who could have been entitled to reparations because he had somehow managed to not get murdered, Mayor Johnson later revealed that he was ineligible due to being named "Steve."

At publishing time, Johnson had announced that he would be retiring to Martha's Vineyard, saying, "Now my work here is accomplished."

[RLLD 4,200]

This is what qualifies as "enlightened"

Before we pay a dime the Arabs have to pay for the sh!t they did

The only reason people play this black = slavery today is because Europeans started to question the global standard of slavery, and then you had people like Hume trying to protect the institution by justifying it through how people perceived black people.

So then.....go make the people who did it for over 1300 years......pay..... instead of the people who bothered to stand up to it and eventually end it......stupid focks...

[seafoam1 2,927]

21 minutes ago, RLLD said:

This is what qualifies as "enlightened"

Before we pay a dime the Arabs have to pay for the sh!t they did

The only reason people play this black = slavery today is because Europeans started to question the global standard of slavery, and then you had people like Hume trying to protect the institution by justifying it through how people perceived black people.

So then.....go make the people who did it for over 1300 years......pay..... instead of the people who bothered to stand up to it and eventually end it......stupid focks...

It's amazing this is still a topic in certain circles around this country. It's gotta be one of the dumbest things anyone can think is right. This country should be the shining example of how to overcome atrocities. Yet, then there are the liberals to tear us back down. 

Let's not celebrate our victories, let's despise ourselves for things long past. -Liberal