Best Phone Call You Ever Received And The Worst One

[BunnysBastatrds 1,963]

Let's keep it positive. Even the negative ones have humor.

 

Best- From a good friend in high school: Dude....that porker you fawked last week after the Queensrhyche concert told my sister you are a God in bed. Clear your calendar.

 

Worst- From Dr Future Prostate Examiner(I watched the movie Philadelphia before I went in for my first AIDS exam: It was the 80's. We were all freaking the fawk out) Bunny, you have to come in for another exam!!!"

 

I sh!t a Fawking brick. That conversation was on a Friday. Had to wait till Monday. Came in on Monday. Doc: You have crabs. Me: Fawking A right!!!!!!Wooooooooo hooooooooooooo!!!!!!

 

The that I am, made my Mom stand in line to fill the prescription as all the girls filling the scripts were girls who went to my HS. My poor Mom was there getting her arthritis drugs and a shampoo and comb for crabs. God bless her!

[Giants Fan 85]

Worst one, and I can almost hear the words still from my Dad that my brother "comitted suicide." It was very direct, he didn't say he "attempted suicide" which would not have been the first time .. and I said, "You are joking." and he said, "I wouldn't joke about something like that." Pretty close second, recently from my Mom to inform me his daughter got in a real bad car accident. She is still in a coma.

 

Best one, was like 1996. I am working for this kinda hippy culture thing in NYC which isn't really my style, the pay sucks, and I compete with thousands of other people for a job working for Playboy. They narrowed it down to 3, and then offered me the job. So, I was at work, at the job I had, got a call there, "We would like you to come work for Playboy, of you will accept a salary of $35k a year." and I snap accepted cause I was making a lot less at the time. That job didn't work out. Too much scapegoat, BS politics, I was some wide eyed kid from Arizona. I got along really well with everyone, besides my direct superior, who just would fock up all the time and blame me. I took it ...I accepted responsibility, but in the end I confrontd her .... and it just didn't work out. They shoulda fired her and kept me, but they didn't see it. Yet. They eventually fired her.

 

And it's kinda funny, anyone that knows anything about like top notch ad firms in NYC, like Saatchi, worked for them, Y & R, worked for them ... Frierson Mee, worked for them when we designed the Voss bottle. I worked for the biggest ad agencies, and international publishers in the world ... and all everyone ever remembers is Playboy. I worked there for 3 months. But that was the best phone call I ever got.

[Giants Fan 85]

I almost worked for Penthouse, too. Interviewed, went really well, just didn't work out, but this is the best story. The Crescent Publishing story. Ok, so, I am freelancing in NYC. I would male like $30 an hour, 4 hour minimum ... but I pretty much aint gettin outta bed for less than $200 a day, and that is when I got to work for all these big places. I had an agent. She calls me up one day, asks me if I have any problem doing photo retouching on nudes, sends me to Crescent Publishing.

 

So, I am like sitting there color correcting guys dicks and stuff ... in photoshop .... chicks too, but it was a lot of color correcting pron for display on the web. Pretty easy. People were chill. Then at the end of the week, they like pull me into this back rom secret meeting ... we wanna hire you, full time ... and I was like, you gotta talk to my agent about that ... and they explained that they wanted to skip her fees and I said no. But out of curiousity, what kinda salary would you be offering? "low thirties" was the response and I think I actually laughed out loud and said something like, "Yeah, you guys are gonna hafta find someone else ... we are not even in the same ballpark. Sorry." and ya know what those fockers did? They turned on me and complained to my agent that I did a bad job. And I focked up, and didn't tell her they tried to steal me. Again, just tryin to be cool ... I get focked. Agent dropped me.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Is there anything gfiap hasn't "almost" done?

[Giants Fan 85]

Is there anything gfiap hasn't "almost" done?

That's a good question.

 

I didn't almost ... Wow ... Tough one ... I didn't even almost become a gymnast. Just was not in the cards, ever.

[Djgb13 2,338]

Best Phone Call: senior in high school and the head coach from USC called and said they wanted to offer me a scholarship to play ball with them which I eventually did

 

Worst Phone Call: couple days ago. My sister called and said my brother in law had colon cancer.