Three Gophers accused of criminal sex conduct

[GettnHuge 1]

I saw this headline and thought, holy shat this is gonna be the best story EVER!

 

Turns out it wasn't about what I thought it was.

 

Brewster suspends three Gophers

Players may be involved in alleged sexual misconduct

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) -- Three University of Minnesota football players, including two from Ohio, were in police custody Friday to undergo questioning after allegations of criminal sexual conduct, the university said in a statement.

 

Coach Tim Brewster immediately suspended the players until the investigation is complete. The allegations come on the eve of the team's spring intrasquad game.

 

The players were identified by the university as Alex Daniels, a 6-foot-3, 255-pound defensive end who came to the Gophers as a highly touted linebacker from Columbus, Ohio; Keith Massey, a 6-foot-1, 195-pound cornerback from Columbus; and E.J. Jones, a 5-foot-9, 185-pound running back from Edwardsville, Ill.

[kutulu 1,562]

Three dead gophers all named Harvey,

sitting around drinking,

all at a party,

if they weren't dead their party'd be hardey,

not too much to do with three dead gopher bodies,

thee dead gophers the furry little beasts,

three dead gophers too bad they're deceased,

thee dead gophers all named Harvey,

thee dead gophers - not the life of the party,

my heart and soul in their little hole,

I love them to the end,

they were my furry friends.

 

[BroncoBilly 0]

Three dead gophers all named Harvey,

sitting around drinking,

all at a party,

if they weren't dead their party'd be hardey,

not too much to do with three dead gopher bodies,

thee dead gophers the furry little beasts,

three dead gophers too bad they're deceased,

thee dead gophers all named Harvey,

thee dead gophers - not the life of the party,

my heart and soul in their little hole,

I love them to the end,

they were my furry friends.

 

 

 

OUT FOCKING STANDING