The Upper Decker - a thoughtful discussion

[football_scooter 0]

So in case you are unaware, an Upper Decker is a quality burn for a special occasion. Because of the difficulty level, I would caution you to please - leave this in the hands of the experts and do not try this at home. The upper decker is performed, by removing the tank lid, climbing up onto the toilet, and defecating into the tank.

 

Then one gently replaces the lid, being careful to wipe up any errant fecal splatter first, and rejoins the party/dinner/wedding/Bar Mitzvah as though nothing out of the ordinary occurred.

 

Slowly the fruit of your labor begins to break down into what will soon become a festering stinkpot of epic proportions. Better still - where the resident's guest/daughter/fiancé/minister is already subjected to a heinous stench while performing his/her's own business, they then flush and reap an entirely new bounty of foulness as your Upper Decker washes into the toilet bowl. Not all at once, mind you - there will be plenty of chunks and clots left to foul up several flushings.

 

Wow, now that's something.

 

One thing though - this is probably a difficulty rating between 5-8, as you have to have a rare set of qualities to perform the Upper Decker.

1. You must be able to get up onto the toilet in just such a position that you can drop a log over the edge of the tank. That takes balance, determination and athleticism in and of itself to get up there, all perched.

*note - a handicap capable restroom with support hardware will reduce difficulty by several points.

 

2. You must, whilst enduring the difficulty of #1, also be able to focus/relax enough to actually pinch off said dookie. A daunting exercise in meditation to be certain. I honestly don't know if I could pull this one off - uh, no pun intended.

 

 

Discuss...

[De Novo 0]

I :lool: at this

[thekris 0]

Sounds like a good time. My only concern is after dropping the log, you'll need to wipe. Where do you throw the toilet paper? If you try flushing it down, you'll ruin the surprise for the next fella. Throw it in the garbage?

[De Novo 0]

Sounds like a good time. My only concern is after dropping the log, you'll need to wipe. Where do you throw the toilet paper? If you try flushing it down, you'll ruin the surprise for the next fella. Throw it in the garbage?

 

A very good question!

[football_scooter 0]

Sounds like a good time. My only concern is after dropping the log, you'll need to wipe. Where do you throw the toilet paper? If you try flushing it down, you'll ruin the surprise for the next fella. Throw it in the garbage?

Intriguing - I would think you just toss it in the top with the rest of your prize.

 

But an outstanding question - I've never thought of that.

[phillybear 366]

I helped someone move out of an apartment. The landlord refused to give them back the security deposit. Just before leaving for good, I did an upperdecker. The landlord called my buddy a month later, hurling profanities.

 

Good times.....good times....

[joneo 556]

Sounds like a good time. My only concern is after dropping the log, you'll need to wipe. Where do you throw the toilet paper? If you try flushing it down, you'll ruin the surprise for the next fella. Throw it in the garbage?

 

 

Easy. You stuff the used paper up your ass until you can get to another bathroom.

[football_scooter 0]

I helped someone move out of an apartment. The landlord refused to give them back the security deposit. Just before leaving for good, I did an upperdecker. The landlord called my buddy a month later, hurling profanities.

 

Good times.....good times....

Fascinating - an actual upper deckerer!

 

Please elaborate for us...we want a full play by play of the event.

 

What were your challenges?

 

Rate the difficulty?

 

What helped you succeed?

 

If you were to do it again, what have you learned that would help you do it better the next time?

 

Would you recommend this to a friend?

 

What exactly did you think about while performing this that allowed you to compose yourself enough to climb up there, yet relax enough to drop that sphincter bomb?

 

Inquiring minds want to know!

[akaoni 0]

Personally, I don't really see why it would be so difficult. Simply take off the lid of the tank, stand on the toilet seat and sit on the now open tank. After that all you have to do is let it rip. If there is a shelf or cabnet overhanging the toilet, then, yes I grant you there could be a problem, but otherwise, I don't see it as being all that difficult a manuver...

 

 

...now I must admit, because I've lived and traveled in Asia, I've had a fair amount of experience using various toilet facilities. From the traditional Japanese squatter, to the hole in the board, I used in a small Chinese villiage off the coast of Malaysia, I've seen and used many different, and at times challenging toilets, so maybe that's why I'm not all that phased by the Upper Decker...

 

Edit: I've just realized that I've finally responded to a poop thread...I'm a bit mortified...what does this mean?

[phillybear 366]

Fascinating - an actual upper deckerer!

 

Please elaborate for us...we want a full play by play of the event.

 

What were your challenges?

 

Rate the difficulty?

 

What helped you succeed?

 

If you were to do it again, what have you learned that would help you do it better the next time?

 

Would you recommend this to a friend?

 

What exactly did you think about while performing this that allowed you to compose yourself enough to climb up there, yet relax enough to drop that sphincter bomb?

 

Inquiring minds want to know!

 

You are over thinking it. It was very easy. I was a bit nervous that the tank might not support my weight, but leaning on wall with your back as leverage erases this fear.

[Big_Pete 0]

here's the easiest way for the "Upper Decker".....

Remove toilet lid....

Crap on the inside of toilet lid...

Keep toilet lid off to the side.

Finish your business, flush the toilet, wait for it to fill back up...

Dump the contents of the toilet lid into the tank

Put Toilet lid back.

 

 

Congratulations, you just completed your first Upper Decker while still able to wipe your ass and reduced the dificulty to a 1

[itsbigmoni 1]

BP's suggestion is alright i suppose. But i would go with finding another restroom. Let soem toilet paper stick to your sh!t and then just find another restroom. Or wash yourself in the sink?

[football_scooter 0]

here's the easiest way for the "Upper Decker".....

Remove toilet lid....

Crap on the inside of toilet lid...

Keep toilet lid off to the side.

Finish your business, flush the toilet, wait for it to fill back up...

Dump the contents of the toilet lid into the tank

Put Toilet lid back.

Congratulations, you just completed your first Upper Decker while still able to wipe your ass and reduced the dificulty to a 1

 

 

BRILLIANT!!!!

[thekris 0]

here's the easiest way for the "Upper Decker".....

Remove toilet lid....

Crap on the inside of toilet lid...

Keep toilet lid off to the side.

Finish your business, flush the toilet, wait for it to fill back up...

Dump the contents of the toilet lid into the tank

Put Toilet lid back.

Congratulations, you just completed your first Upper Decker while still able to wipe your ass and reduced the dificulty to a 1

 

That'll work! Now I'm ready for business

[GettnHuge 2]

what you need is a spotter like edjr to catch your crap on the way out with his hands and

put it into the tank. teamwork!

[rallo 136]

back in high school at the state baseball tourney in des moines my buddy pulled an upper decker then showed us afterward... the hotel ended up calling the high school about it, but we were already done with baseball season by the time they got word of it...

[thekris 0]

Up to this point my dream was always to take a dump in a urinal. About 4 years ago on New Years Eve, I had the perfect opportunity with my body watching standby at the door. But it was in a nice restaurant and the start of the evening and I didn't wanna get caught and have to explain to the girls why we had to leave the restaurant immediately.