phillybear

Thanks, Literal Mike Honcho. :sadbanana:

Breaking news: The American KGB just raided the homes of Nicholas Cage and Jon Voight. They received anonymous tips they were in possession of classified documents and a map of buried treasure.

Well, they change them at the very least when you have a President change, so those alleged codes nobody actually thinks were in the boxes might win you the lottery, but they won't launch jack sh!t.

Menopause migraines.

One particular FBI agent is distraught as he is tearing through the boxes. Surely Donald Trump had proof of extraterrestrial life in these documents. They have to be here. I had an informant. Not too far away, a shadowy figure slips documents into an inside pocket of his overcoat, and lights a cigarette.

Reports are coming out that Senator Joe Biden was desperate to get his hands on the documents that would create the dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movies, and Trump definitely had them in his study. After the raid, Joe Biden was found to be celebrating in the bathtub, soaking with his rubber ducky.

You look like a burn victim that had firefighters put out the flames with golf shoes.

I agree. When this was announced, I thought it was a disrespect to Julius Erving, who meant so much more to the NBA. And while we are at it, why not retire Wilt's number league wide? Wilt is the G.O.A.T., with the only other contender to the mantel being Michael Jordan. Why not retire MJ's number? Wilt used to eat Russell's lunch, dinner, then fock his shoes. Yeah, Russell had the better teams, so he got rings, but he couldn't stop Wilt. Wilt was the man that focked 20,000 broads. How do you not retire his number for the tail?

Which has absolutely nothing to do with if he is an alias or not. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the spectrum this morning?

I hate to break it to you, but Sux is an alias. You don't want to know who you have been actually talking to.

Not only is all of this true, it's all recorded on the security cameras and there are plenty of eyewitnesses. BEEP. BEEP. HERE COMES THE FAYLEDOZER!!!

I wonder if that was me? Probably not. Admittedly, saying "I'll cut your focking head off!!!" is so commonplace to me at FFToday, and real life, it's like me saying "Hello." or "Of course, I'll have another drink." Just to make sure I don't miss out on the opportunity... Go drown in a puddle of AIDS!! FACE!! HUMP DAY!!!!

So, the KGB wouldn't allow Trump's lawyers see the warrant, kicked all the lawyers out of the house, did their best to conduct their searches without observation, sniffed some panties, then grabbed items without providing an inventory. So many illegal acts. Mar-A-Lago. The nation's largest voting headquarters.

The first time tax returns were revealed was Nixon, and he fought against it. I believe Carter was the first to do it voluntarily.

It's inexcusable that the kid didn't start a bench clearing brawl.