"The Man Who Orders 3 Beers"

[Ravens 03 0]

An Irishman moves into a tiny village in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more.

 

This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times.

 

Soon the entire town is whispering about the "Man Who Orders Three Beers."

 

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?"

 

"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies, "You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."

 

The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer, and soon the "Man Who Orders Three Beers" became a local celebrity and source of pride to the village, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.

 

Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers.

 

The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening: he orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.

 

The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know-the two beers and all...."

 

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, myself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."

 

 

[Isotopes 1]

Paddy is stoned drunk again and he decides it's time to sneak back home. So he gets off his bar stool and falls flat on his face. "Jezuz, I must be really smashed, perhaps I should wait a bit before I go home."

 

So Paddy has another pint just to steady his nerves you know and tries it again. Splat! Right on his face. "Ta hell with this I'm going to crawl home" he says.

 

So paddy crawls all the way home, up the steps, in the front door and drags himself to the couch where he promptly passes out.

 

The next morning his wife wakes him up screaming. "Paddy have you been drinking again?".

 

"No of course not dear" he says.

 

"Paddy tell me the truth or so help me!!!"

 

"No dear what on earth would make you think I was drinking again my little buttercup".

 

"Well, Duffy called saying you left your wheelchair at the pub again"

[BiPolarBear 497]

An Irish man was strolling along when he saw a leprechan! The little fellow was stuck on a thorn bush and hanging by his coat tail. The man gently the leprechan off the thorn and set him down.

 

The leprechan said "Aye, laddy, you be a fine man and for your kindness I grant you two wishes."

 

The man thought for a while and said: "I want a bottle of Guinness that stays full no matter how much I drink." The words had no more that left his lips when a cold bottle of Guiness apeared in his hand! He took a pull on the bottle and saw that it remained completely full! He then hoisted the bottle upside down and drank enough to empty two bottles and it remained full! May the saints be praised!

 

"Well, Laddy." Says the leprechan. "What will you be having with your final wish?"

 

The Irishman looks at the bottle of Guinness and says; "How about another one of these?"

[jocstrap 8]

Good stories - nice way to start off this cold Friday morning - with a smile:)

[wiffleball 4,800]

All

 

 

 

[edjr 7,156]

All

 

 

NICE!! I laughed at all of them

[akaoni 0]

Tis St Patty's day tomorrow don'cha know?

 

[edjr 7,156]

Tis St Patty's day tomorrow don'cha know?

 

 

And on a saturday.

 

I'm DJing tomorrow night, it will be a complete amatuer night, be drunks all around that can't handle their booze.

[wiffleball 4,800]

I'm DJing tomorrow night, it will be a complete amatuer night,

 

 

True dat. I love the concept of the holiday, but I usually try to find a 'quiet' bar that has Harp on tap. Can't stand the "5,000 people crowded together paying $9 for a plastic cup of warm green coors light" kinda crap that goes on all over the place. Pretty much any bar that's doing a St. Patty's day promotion - are the bars that I avoid.

[p.man 7]

And on a saturday.

 

I'm DJing tomorrow night, it will be a complete amatuer night, be drunks all around that can't handle their booze.

 

Do you use Vynal or Cd's?

 

During the 80's and 90's and up until 2005 I used to spin in clubs all over N.J and NYC.

The most famous spots in N.J I've worked at were..The Surf Club in Ortley beach. Joey's place in Clifton.

Hunka Bunka in Sayerville. It's now called Starland. Passions in Fairview. City Lights in Perth Amboy.

 

In N.Y I worked at 1018. I beleive its called the Roxy now. And the Tunnell.

 

The record collection totals well over 70 thousand records now. It's all 12" Vynal records.

I have a nice collection of Cd's too.

 

I'm actually in the process of having a mini club put in my basement. Complete with lighting, wetbar, video games and Tv's all around. I can't wait until it's done.

 

I mostly spin, Freestyle Dance, Hip Hop, House, Techno, Classic Disco, Trance, Reggae, Rap, Rock, Punk, and sometimes H.Metal. I wasn't a real Metal or hardrock fan, but growing up one of my favorite groups was Kiss.

I still put their records on. Boston is another favorite of mine. Although, as I got older my taste in music changed, and I started to like it more and more.

 

Have fun spinning.

 

Embrace The Music!

[edjr 7,156]

Do you use Vynal or Cd's?

 

 

I use my laptop.

 

No seriously. It focking rocks. It's easy as pie too.

 

not only do I have like 3,000 songs on my laptop, i can download stuff people want to hear that I don't have.

 

I dj from 9 to 1 and from 9 to 11:30 I play older stuff, rock n roll, 80's, whatever, from 11:30 till close I play all new stuff, the last couple years and mostly stuff on the radio now

 

Also, I have a remote control so I can sit at the bar and fast forward songs and change the volume. I sit in the DJ booth once it gets packed.

[t.j 35]

[wiffleball 4,800]

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church,

enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his

attention but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin,

there's no paper on this side either!"

[p.man 7]

I use my laptop.

 

No seriously. It focking rocks. It's easy as pie too.

 

not only do I have like 3,000 songs on my laptop, i can download stuff people want to hear that I don't have.

 

I dj from 9 to 1 and from 9 to 11:30 I play older stuff, rock n roll, 80's, whatever, from 11:30 till close I play all new stuff, the last couple years and mostly stuff on the radio now

 

Also, I have a remote control so I can sit at the bar and fast forward songs and change the volume. I sit in the DJ booth once it gets packed.

 

Sounds like you're enjoying it.

Good Luck!

 

Back when I was 14 - 17 years old I used to go out with this girl, and one day I couldn't take her antics anymore, so I decided to break up with her. So to take my mind off of her I would go to this record shop down in Newark N.J called "The Music Village" I would spend hours upon hours there listening to the D.J spin anything people wanted to here. He was a working D.J at Club After Dark in Newark. One day he asked if I wanted to go to the club with him, his girlfriend, and a few of his friends. So I did, and we became friends

ever since. He was also a recording artist. In time, I was starting to like the club scene and wanted to start spinning for myself. I practiced night and day for a few years. He got me my first job at Club After Dark, after that I was completly hooked on spinning in the clubs. I accumulated about 2 creates worth of records in a very short time, so I kept on buying and buying. Before I knew it I had 30 creates worth. Now I'm well over the 70k mark. As for the ex girlfriend, She wouldn't stop wanting to get back together, so I would bang her on the side, but we never actually got back together. But she had a really cute friend that everyone wanted to be with, so I had this idea that I would say that I would get back together with her if she would set up a 3 way with the friend. About 2 weeks later I hear this rock hitting my window. I looked out to see her and her friend waving me to come down. I did, and the 3 of us went to a motel.

 

Afterwards she asked, "We're back, right? I said yes. But I never did go back.

Good Times Good Times!

[edjr 7,156]

Sounds like you're enjoying it.

Good Luck!

 

Back when I was 14 - 17 years old I used to go out with this girl, and one day I couldn't take her antics anymore, so I decided to break up with her. So to take my mind off of her I would go to this record shop down in Newark N.J called "The Music Village" I would spend hours upon hours there listening to the D.J spin anything people wanted to here. He was a working D.J at Club After Dark in Newark. One day he asked if I wanted to go to the club with him, his girlfriend, and a few of his friends. So I did, and we became friends

ever since. He was also a recording artist. In time, I was starting to like the club scene and wanted to start spinning for myself. I practiced night and day for a few years. He got me my first job at Club After Dark, after that I was completly hooked on spinning in the clubs. I accumulated about 2 creates worth of records in a very short time, so I kept on buying and buying. Before I knew it I had 30 creates worth. Now I'm well over the 70k mark. As for the ex girlfriend, She wouldn't stop wanting to get back together, so I would bang her on the side, but we never actually got back together. But she had a really cute friend that everyone wanted to be with, so I had this idea that I would say that I would get back together with her if she would set up a 3 way with the friend. About 2 weeks later I hear this rock hitting my window. I looked out to see her and her friend waving me to come down. I did, and the 3 of us went to a motel.

 

Afterwards she asked, "We're back, right? I said yes. But I never did go back.

Good Times Good Times!

 

Excellent story. Good for you.