wiffleball

Oh, you're adorable

A few months ago, I got hit for jaywalking. But because technically it's a highway, it's not. It's a street. I got a hit for apparently walking on a highway.. I had a ball with this guy. "You know you almost got hit by two cars?" "Which is weird, because you're the only car visible here." At that point, I honestly thought he was just going to give me a warning. You sure not just f****** with me cuz you're bored? Colorado springs requires a second officer to show up usually a supervisor regardless of circumstance. He shows up. And that's adorable. Did your boyfriend call you? Was he a scared? Uh sir, we're required to have.. Uh-huh. You're a cute couple. Me: I mean Jesus f****** christ. I work all God damn day, I couldn't afford to eat at the place that I f****** work - even with a discount. But we feed you jerks for free. And crazy thing? I've got a college degree and you don't. Guaranteed. " And so I walked across the street to get a 7-Eleven burrito and they want to charge me $75 for jaywalking on the street that's completely f****** empty? By the way, 2:00 a.m. in Colorado springs is like Easter morning in Iowa. I don't know why n****** kill cops. But I do know why white people kill cops. And I've had a lot of cop friends who would say that kind of s*** is why good cops get killed for innocuous s***. I'll pay that ticket when my tickles that cops tonsils.

Yeah, literally the whole world signed a treaty not to militarize space. Does anybody f****** believe that? The Russians have a laser that can blow up something a thousand miles in the sky. I'm guessing we do too. Because the Russians are f****** retarded. And they and the chinks always steal from us. It's cheaper. And they're stupid. So guess what's next? Laser repelling drones. Doesn't take a f****** rocket scientist on that one. You know what the Americans are doing? Our advanced fighters are getting software upgrades to have a swarm of f****** drones. One fighter is like a squadron now. But you know the one place where Americans are really sucking wind? Hypersonic. And you know the two places where Americans are swallowing ? The literal combat ship system. Which is taking decades and they're already trying to decommission these little f******. In the Navy it's referred to as the little crappy ship system. And the second place? Our next generation of aircraft carriers. Jesus, what a f****** s*** show that is. But guess what? Nobody even comes close to us. And guess what? When you have laser guided GPS enabled hypersonic missiles? A aircraft carrier is nothing more than an invitation to kill 2500 Americans and a trillion bucks for huge extra Mario Brothers gold coin points. I'd rather fly an a-10 into the face of combat than cook scrambled eggs on a " next generation" aircraft carrier. And if any of you guys know how to read, you'll understand why I say that.

The weird thing about Rusty's house? The cats smell like human piss.

They'll never come back. Got to hate this world.

Okay, not that the bar was set really high, but this is your best post ever.

Seriously.

I guess the Russians are testing out lasers that can take out among other things, drones from Miles away in a matter of seconds.

That would be a catastrophe!

What's with the Neck bandage?. Now he really does look like jerry.

No. He brought rum rum rum.

Which is weird, because in dealey plaza. There's a big x right in the middle of the road. And that's exactly where JFK got shot in the head. I mean clearly all they had to do was drive around the x.

Better than having a sharp pain in your peeknee!

I bought a little place for my Goomah in Brooklyn. With specific instructions that she can never come to Queens.

The unfortunate thing is, they booked the entire squad of sumo wrestling regional champions in first class.