Good Morning Geeks. :furious:

[phillybear 364]

FOCK OFF. Seriously.

 

Our bathrooms at work haven't had toilet paper in weeks. Coincidently, no one has bothered to shake hands for some time now. Some deviants are constantly glancing around, making sure that no one is watching them, and then sniff their fingers in a clandestine manner. Lousy government jobs, with their lousy attrition and budget cuts. Now, they are letting the supplies run out. The good news is the fiscal year ends at the end of June, so by then I might have something other than memos to wipe my ass with. This does not bode well for folks like me, who consume mass quantities of oatmeal, salads, and hot peppers on a daily basis. Sometimes, it feels like I am trying to prevent giving birth to some spry alien in my colon, by clamping my legs shut to keep a redwood log from riding the dirty water current down the river, until I can get back home. After a long bus and train ride, shaking and stirring all the way home. Lurching down the streets like a demented Frankenstein's monster, I stumble and limp my aching body down the driveway and up my stairs. I fumble with my house keys for an eternity, barrell through the door, drop my pants in mid shuffle in my living room, crawl to the bathroom with my shorts around my ankles, squeezing, squeezing, and finally finishing the final mad dash to the porcelin god with a desperate lunge. Sweating profusely, I finally succomb to the inevitable, and nearly blow my colon inside out. By then, my feces looks fluffy like a cream that has been beaten for a couple of hours, and is now a delightful chocalate mousse that can be bought at any high quality French restaurant. Did I mention that I never eat out? I suppose I could try to bring some of my toilet paper to work, but the cheese grater would never make it past the metal detectors.

 

Fock off.

[GettnHuge 1]

good morning to you too, prolapsusbear

[D'ohmer Simpson 0]

the cheese grater

 

You use Scott TP too?

[NewbieJr 540]

You use Scott TP too?

It's my favorite. I love the individually wrapped rolls.

[stop talking cheerleader 0]

Good Morning Geeks

[CurlyNight 0]

Happy humpers day, geeks! Almost there! Have a great day everyone, even you Philly.

[D'ohmer Simpson 0]

It's my favorite. I love the individually wrapped rolls.

 

 

Indeed. Whenever I travel for an extended period of time I take a roll with me. I was quite put out when, to my horror, not only did the grocery store I was shopping at not have Scott, they didn't have any individual rolls. No thanks, I didn't need 24 rolls of TP for the final few days I'd be staying there.

[Jeff Garcia 8]

The best TP I have found is Traget brand. With some others, I have found little pieces break off in my crack as I wipe, and it makes my butt itch, which in turn makes me itch my butt, which in turn makes my finger stink, which in turn makes me want to smell my finger, which in turn makes me look like an idiot.

[D'ohmer Simpson 0]

The best TP I have found is Traget brand. With some others, I have found little pieces break off in my crack as I wipe, and it makes my butt itch, which in turn makes me itch my butt, which in turn makes my finger stink, which in turn makes me want to smell my finger, which in turn makes me look like an idiot.

 

It is a tip that the paper isn't making your butt itch.

[Jeff Garcia 8]

It is a tip that the paper isn't making your butt itch.

 

 

Well, when you have little pieces of TP rolled up in there with poop still on them, it itches.

[D'ohmer Simpson 0]

Well, when you have little pieces of TP rolled up in there with poop still on them, it itches.

That could be it, but it could also be the splooge leaking out your bung hole, Jeffy. Either way I guess.