Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 Get to drive it all I want! CHCKAH-CHAKAHHH! OH YEAH! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patriotsfatboy1 1,432 Posted March 26, 2015 Must be cool to drive that down to the Piggly Wiggly and get some pork rinds with your food stamps. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,250 Posted March 26, 2015 This is your chance to get laid$#@! Which reminds me, I was wondering... do you even ever try to get laid? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,938 Posted March 26, 2015 This is your chance to get laid$#@! Which reminds me, I was wondering... do you even ever try to get laid? My guess is he sucks at poke her also and gave it up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,250 Posted March 26, 2015 My guess is he sucks at poke her also and gave it up. [rimshot] Nice. [/rimshot] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 Doh! Nah. I don't really try and get laid anymore. I put a lot of points on the scoreboard in HS and college. It's just too much effort. Both my Dads will tell you, women are expensive. Just go on Tucson Craigslist yourself and look for women our age. All the good ones are taken bro. Ya know, maybe if I got back into shape, and could land a hot 35 year old with no kids ... it would be a different story. But as it is, the quality of a woman that I could land, so much more a hassle than it's worth. And I am not interested in one night stands anymore. i'm a grown up now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 Don't care if you think that's weird. i could get laid tomorrow, if I wanted to. Don't want. Low testosterone? My male pattern baldness would have something to say about that. Although, I used to masturbate at least twice a day, and now I am down to just once. Ya know, get up, shiat, shower, beat off. Normal morning since I was 14. It's sad though. I found myself googling "Suzanne Somers nude" recently. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 930 Posted March 26, 2015 You get to hang out in the kitchen with Chris Hansen? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,250 Posted March 26, 2015 Doh! Nah. I don't really try and get laid anymore. I put a lot of points on the scoreboard in HS and college. It's just too much effort. Both my Dads will tell you, women are expensive. Just go on Tucson Craigslist yourself and look for women our age. All the good ones are taken bro. Ya know, maybe if I got back into shape, and could land a hot 35 year old with no kids ... it would be a different story. But as it is, the quality of a woman that I could land, so much more a hassle than it's worth. And I am not interested in one night stands anymore. i'm a grown up now. Don't care if you think that's weird. i could get laid tomorrow, if I wanted to. Don't want. Low testosterone? My male pattern baldness would have something to say about that. Although, I used to masturbate at least twice a day, and now I am down to just once. Ya know, get up, shiat, shower, beat off. Normal morning since I was 14. It's sad though. I found myself googling "Suzanne Somers nude" recently. Why would a single guy with no attachments have no interest in a one night stand? You have a fear of rejection and/or failure, it permeates everything you do. Just trying to help. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 Mkay, it is pretty much impossile for me to want to have sex with someone, when I know they don't want to have sex with me. Right? one time, in Tijuana, I got a BJ, with a condom, for the first time. It wan't worth it. i had to close my eys and think of a woman that wasn't doing it for the money, might as well beat off and save $100. It,s like that old saying, I would never join a club that would have me as a member. i need the opposite of me. The woman for me, may not exist. And it's OK if I never find her. But if I do, she will appreciate that I have been celibate for so long. I got plenty of bad stuff outta my system when I was younger. Caught a few things back in the day, but nothing permanent. Crabs. Twice. There was a crab infestation at the University of Arizona in the early 1990's. The first time, I focking freaked. Was just kinda overly itchy, came home to the frat house from a bar and saw one jump, and freaked. Shaved, got (made a pledge get me) Rid the next day and washed all my sheets and underwear in it. Called up the last girl I had sex with and left her a nasty message. "I can't believe this! I never had anything like this!" and even though we had broken up a month ago, and she was with a new guy, she came right over. I remember sitting there, homer simpsons beard growing on my groin, in a red bathrobe, and she explained to me that you could get crabs without havng sex ... like if you were taking showers in a frat house! kinda makes sense. Felt like an idiot. I really liked her too. Rich, little Mexican girl that was a good cook, and the best sex I ever had. She was like, "I don't haff the crabs. Ramone doesn't haff the crabs, and we haff had sex, so I think we would know by now." and I knew she was telling me the truth. Got crabs, without even having the sehks! I guess it coulda been worse. If we didn't break up, and I gave her crabs, that's a whole different conversation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 There was a handfull of couldabeens, back in the day. I was actually engaged at 19. Didn't work out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IGotWorms 3,357 Posted March 26, 2015 What a sad life you lead Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 So many funny lines, different girls: Me: I hope I am the first to ask you if I can take you out on Valentines day? Her: That's out of the question. I don't feel the same way about you. As a matter of fact, I think we should suspend all contact for awhile. Me: Your cat was attacking me while I tried to sleep on the fouton, and because the splintery frame is painted black, in the dark, I went to grab the cat, and a splinter went all the way to the base of my fingernail. It was really painfull. Her: That's not my futon. I am gonna hafta repaint that. Me: Big Bang THEORY. Ya know, yer talking about the definition of the universe. It's not a fact. It is probably the fact, all evidence points towards it ... but it's not fact. Her: If you don't believe the universe is expanding, I'm not sure we can be friends anymore. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 Bitchez be crazy and shiat. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,938 Posted March 26, 2015 Mkay, it is pretty much impossile for me to want to have sex with someone, when I know they don't want to have sex with me. Right? one time, in Tijuana, I got a BJ, with a condom, for the first time. It wan't worth it. i had to close my eys and think of a woman that wasn't doing it for the money, might as well beat off and save $100 n. I bet the donkey closed it's eyes and thought of a pile of straw and wished he didn't have to work so hard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
naomi 345 Posted March 26, 2015 Mkay, it is pretty much impossile for me to want to have sex with someone, when I know they don't want to have sex with me. Right? one time, in Tijuana, I got a BJ, with a condom, for the first time. It wan't worth it. i had to close my eys and think of a woman that wasn't doing it for the money, might as well beat off and save $100 That 'impossibility' is a in of itself (to me, and probably most women). Do you fear rejection at all (from women)? I think you might find someone you dig. You do need to be satisfied with yourself first/what you're doing with yourself, but there is literally nothing else to it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chronic Husker 85 Posted March 26, 2015 When you're getting sex advice from a virgin and your last sexual experience was getting beatdown by two trannies a decade ago.....it might be time to re-evaluate your life. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 Naomi: I guess I have the same fear right back. Like, let's say I stand to inherit a million dollars. That might be true, it might not be. I have some wealthy relatives. Somepeople would think I was rich. Upper Middle Class, just when they see the property where I live. Ya know, 5 acres, 2 houses, koi pond. 1990 Miata.* But I am not interested in someone that is interesd me because I am rich, which I am not. Gonna be a big letdown when my step sisters get it all. Ya gotta be interested in me, for me. And even I have trouble with that. * Actually, besides my two 1965 Mercury Marauders, and the Miata, we have a Prius for general use and a rare BMW M Roadster. Not a Z3, looks similar. Only made them for 2 years. 98-99, I believe. My step dad keeps it in the garage, litterally with blankets on it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 It's like a Miata on steroids. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
naomi 345 Posted March 26, 2015 When you're getting sex advice from a virgin and your last sexual experience was getting beatdown by two trannies a decade ago.....it might be time to re-evaluate your life. Ha. It wasn't necessarily sex advice. As eccentric as GF is, as long as he's not unavoidably unstable (bad bipolar disorder, etc), it's not a barren desert for him. He just shouldn't be afraid of rejection since it is bound to happen, and no big deal. If he's not bs'ing about the 'impossibility' thing, women who also need legit connection will sense that. There are a lot of women in his passable age range who'd like a do-over and to truly settle down with someone. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chronic Husker 85 Posted March 26, 2015 Ha. It wasn't necessarily sex advice. As eccentric as GF is, as long as he's not unavoidably unstable (bad bipolar disorder, etc), it's not a barren desert for him. He just shouldn't be afraid of rejection since it is bound to happen, and no big deal. If he's not bs'ing about the 'impossibility' thing, women who also need legit connection will sense that. There are a lot of women in his passable age range who'd like a do-over and to truly settle down with someone. You will look awesome in that Roadster. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 The most fun car to drive, imho is my own car. I have actually never even gotten a ride in that BMW. Step Dad is a shiatty, panicky driver. No reason for him to take me for a ride. He knows I am a better driver. I should take him for a ride in it. I'll race him, any day with my 19 foot long, boat convertible ... and it wont be close. Sure, his BMW handles better. Sure, it gets better gas mileage. But in a straight line ... All that weight equals traction, and ya know, little motor called the 428 Cobra Jet ... little bit bigger that the one they "shoe-horned" into that M Roadster. There's no replacement for displacement my friends. And as rednecks say in response to that, "Injection is nice, but I'd rather be blown." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 But it wouldn't be fair. I could beat him with the Miata. It's just in me. Quick response time, qucik at the clutch, hereditary thing, my Dad raced cars. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 One time, in college, when you had to drive to Nevada to get to Laughlin from Arizona, in order to gamble, some friends of mine and I drove his Mom's 4 door BMW. I was given the task of driving home, since everyone else was tired. I pretty much lost all my money right away and slept in the car. So, we are driving on this two lane, two way highway between Nevada and Arizona and the speed limit was like 55, I am doing 60. I see a car approach in my rear view,,and then go to pass me. Now, this is a dotted yellow line, so you can pass, but it's a two way road. So, I see this guy go to pass me and I know there is a car going the other way. So, I maintain speed, expecting this guy to see the oncoming car, and pull back behind me, but he doesn't. Nobody else is paying attention, I say, "This guy is crazy!" and lets find out folks, BMW with 4 male adults in it, how it handles from 60- zero, because our lives might depend on it. It was inches. i was ready to go off the road, and we woulda messed up the car but survived. The car comming towards us, saw this crazy mfer try and pass me, we both made defensive moves .... Friggin inches from 65 MPH head on. Beemer handled really well in that situation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 I remember another time, when I was like 19 in my 69 Mustang coupe. Freaky sitauation,, one truck came swiping across, like was gonna crush me between two trucks, and I downshifted. Only a 3 speed, 250 6 cylinder, but I downshifted and got the torque I needed to punch it and thread the needle, let the accident happen behind me. Slamming on the brakes and steering through a skid is one thing. Understanding your vehicle, what it can do, and utilizing that to make you safer ... different. It's a gift. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Magnificent Bastard 190 Posted March 26, 2015 I bet the donkey closed it's eyes and thought of a pile of straw and wished he didn't have to work so hard.[/ Now that's f-ing funny Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 AA and then AAA? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 My big problem is, other people are stupid. Can ya solve taht for me? I am an excellent driver. Prolly could get a job ubering, if I bought a reasonable vehicle to use for it. Prolly could deliver pizza. Done that before. Ya know, it is stting, standing, doing different things but none of them for long periods of time, which is what my back needs. But driving a car, just to the grocery, I am constantly annoyed at how stupid people are. Drives me nuts. Never get pulled over, never do anything wrong, besids speed a little, but safely ... Never get tickets, know my way around, I grew up in Tucson. So, it starts to look like a thing, I could prolly do part time, without too much physical issues, and I am looking into it. I mean, I got a DUI in 1993, and I wasn't even in the car when the train hit it, but my driving record since then is spotless. I do speed, sometimes. Particularly when it is reasonable and prudent. My father was pulled over for speeding. Here's th situation. The speed limit is 35. My dad pulls out, into traffic, but into a lane he has a right to, if he can do it safly, and he does, but then, in order to put some distance between him and the car behind him, my father increases his speed briefly to 55. Mph, 20 mph past the speed limit. But in Arizona, the "speed limit" is actually more of a suggestion, not the law. In Arizona, they want you to be safe, and there are times where it is "reasonable and prudent" to go in excess of the "speed limit" and cops aren't supposed to ticket you for that. If you speeding, makes a situation safer ... that should not warrant a ticket, and my Dad got out of a ticket for exactly that reason. It was "reasonable and prudent" for him to speed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 Also, when I lived in Mesa, I got one of those camera tickets in the mail for going 11 miles over the speed limit. Never stuck though. Process server couldn't catch me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Saint Elistan 106 Posted March 26, 2015 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWZlPV9J8qo Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 Knock knock. "yeah, I got some papers here from the court." My brother used to be a process server. Poor guy, never shoulda wasted his time. "He's not here." Ps: "That's OK, I can leave them with you." Me: "Well, I am not answerimg the door." Guy chased me for a couple weeks. Welcome my friend, to the concept of expected value. You can keep chasing me, or move on to easier prey and go back to making a living. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 Totally spotless driving record. Ya know, besides the freight train hitting my 66 Galaxie convertible in 1993 and me getting a DUI, just barely. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 We are talkin bout cars bro. Be a pleasure if someone besids me had a story. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 Ya know ... $300, I got a choice on how to spend that money. Little aluminum job named Holley ... worth every penny. Yah know she sucks ... the way I need her to suck. Ya know, I don't have a stereo in that car. When I drive that car, I wanna listen to that car. Custom Magnaflow dual exhaust cost more than I paid for the car at first. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giants Fan 85 Posted March 26, 2015 And ya know, you could go with having your muffleres welded in, but I would totally pay the extra $20 to just have a Mexican hold them in place: They wear out, and you hafta get new Mexicans, but it's soooo worth it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
