Good Morning Geeks. :furious:

[phillybear 364]

FOCK OFF. Seriously.

 

The restrooms at work are becoming a house of haunted mirrors this week. As I stroll into the empty men’s room, I pause for a moment, enjoying the wafting aroma of fresh urinal cake, much like a child would wake up with joy in their heart upon smelling freshly baked cinammon rolls first thing in the morning coming from their kitchen. It is exactly like that, except for the joy in the heart thing, and the cinammon thing. Actually, I am just pleased that I am not gagging from the smell of dried up urine on the floor and wall around the urinals. Select the far right of the 5 urinals to partake in my morning urination ritual. Just as the stream is kick starting, the door creaks open, and a stranger walks into the room. He gazes at the empty stalls, gazes at the 4 unoccupied urinals, and strolls over to the urinal next to mine, and unzips. I am instantly alarmed. What the fock? With all the places of discharge available, you select to stand next to me, deciding to trudge all the way across the room, not even selecting the urinals closest to you? There are no partition walls. This is about the gayest thing I have ever seen. There is such a thing as space. There is a reason why men do not sit next to their male friends in a movie theatre, but keep an empty seat in between. There is a reason why men sit on separate couches when watching a ball game. SPACE. Motherfocker is probably trying to take a gander at my franks and beans. I try to watch out of the corner of my eye to see if he is watching out of the corner of his eye, succeeding only in getting my eyes to hurt. I finish up as quickly as I can, give a shake, zip up, and start to walk past my tormentor. The evil man snickers. Oh, ho. That bastard. He WAS looking at it. I swiftly turn around, and *BAP* donkey punch him to the back of the head. His forehead bounces with a sickening *MAP* off the wall, and he slowly slumps to the floor, eventually settling in an awkward pose, flat on his back, bleeding heavily from the head wound. An ever widening pool of urine starts to spread over the floor. On the bright side, since he wasn’t looking at my face, I don’t think he would be able to recognize his attacker. I hear that the last thing that a person does before he dies is release his bowels. I think I will duck out before I see something running down his legs. But first, maybe I have time to kick his in the head a few times.

 

Fock Off.

[Eagles Green 34]

So you're hung like a lightswitch huh?

[cinciman7 2]

Hopefully there are no incriminating moles on that tallywacker.

[phillybear 364]

So you're hung like a lightswitch huh?

 

Everyone on this site is rich, has a huge tool, has a model for a wife, and wins every fantasy football league every year.

[hoytdwow 202]

FOCK OFF. Seriously.

 

The restrooms at work are becoming a house of haunted mirrors this week. As I stroll into the empty men’s room, I pause for a moment, enjoying the wafting aroma of fresh urinal cake, much like a child would wake up with joy in their heart upon smelling freshly baked cinammon rolls first thing in the morning coming from their kitchen. It is exactly like that, except for the joy in the heart thing, and the cinammon thing. Actually, I am just pleased that I am not gagging from the smell of dried up urine on the floor and wall around the urinals. Select the far right of the 5 urinals to partake in my morning urination ritual. Just as the stream is kick starting, the door creaks open, and a stranger walks into the room. He gazes at the empty stalls, gazes at the 4 unoccupied urinals, and strolls over to the urinal next to mine, and unzips. I am instantly alarmed. What the fock? With all the places of discharge available, you select to stand next to me, deciding to trudge all the way across the room, not even selecting the urinals closest to you? There are no partition walls. This is about the gayest thing I have ever seen. There is such a thing as space. There is a reason why men do not sit next to their male friends in a movie theatre, but keep an empty seat in between. There is a reason why men sit on separate couches when watching a ball game. SPACE. Motherfocker is probably trying to take a gander at my franks and beans. I try to watch out of the corner of my eye to see if he is watching out of the corner of his eye, succeeding only in getting my eyes to hurt. I finish up as quickly as I can, give a shake, zip up, and start to walk past my tormentor. The evil man snickers. Oh, ho. That bastard. He WAS looking at it. I swiftly turn around, and *BAP* donkey punch him to the back of the head. His forehead bounces with a sickening *MAP* off the wall, and he slowly slumps to the floor, eventually settling in an awkward pose, flat on his back, bleeding heavily from the head wound. An ever widening pool of urine starts to spread over the floor. On the bright side, since he wasn’t looking at my face, I don’t think he would be able to recognize his attacker. I hear that the last thing that a person does before he dies is release his bowels. I think I will duck out before I see something running down his legs. But first, maybe I have time to kick his in the head a few times.

 

Fock Off.

 

 

Can you boil this down to the essentials so I don't actually have to read it?

TIA

[phillybear 364]

Hopefully there are no incriminating moles on that tallywacker.

 

More like leprosy.

 

Can you boil this down to the essentials so I don't actually have to read it?

TIA

 

I killed someone who pissed me off. :banana:

 

So....where are you from?

[NewbieJr 540]

Everyone on this site is rich, has a huge tool, has a model for a wife, and wins every fantasy football league every year.

This is not true.

I took second place in my fantasy league in 2003.

 

HTH

[hoytdwow 202]

So....where are you from?

 

forget it. I'm not ghey.

[phillybear 364]

forget it. I'm not ghey.

 

May incests crawl into your ear as you sleep. May they burrow into your brain, and lay thousands of eggs. After several days of eye watering headaches, you start to feel crawling legs inside your head as eggs start to hatch. As you run around in circles in agony, you decide to bash your head into a brick wall for sweet, sweet relief. As blessed unconsciousness washes over you, you feel bugs escaping your body from every orafice. The detectives find you hanging from a ceiling in a cocoon.

[hoytdwow 202]

May incests crawl into your ear as you sleep. May they burrow into your brain, and lay thousands of eggs. After several days of eye watering headaches, you start to feel crawling legs inside your head as eggs start to hatch. As you run around in circles in agony, you decide to bash your head into a brick wall for sweet, sweet relief. As blessed unconsciousness washes over you, you feel bugs escaping your body from every orafice. The detectives find you hanging from a ceiling in a cocoon.

 

I know...Star Trek II. Right?

[phillybear 364]

I know...Star Trek II. Right?

 

Haven't seen it.

 

As you take a shortcut behind some houses in a residential areas during an evening stroll, may you be abducted by space aliens. Their form of abduction is to slip a sack over your head, and beat you with sticks, before dragging you off into the woods. They take you onto their ship, and in no time at all, you are whisked away to return with them to their home planet in a distant galaxy. You fate will be to become the bride to 16 well-hung aliens by the name of Fzvvrt#8tt, who will use every hole in your body as a pin cushion. Every night. The planet 's atmosphere is the fountain of youth to you, and never age another day.

[cinciman7 2]

May incests crawl into your ear as you sleep. May they burrow into your brain, and lay thousands of eggs. After several days of eye watering headaches, you start to feel crawling legs inside your head as eggs start to hatch. As you run around in circles in agony, you decide to bash your head into a brick wall for sweet, sweet relief. As blessed unconsciousness washes over you, you feel bugs escaping your body from every orafice. The detectives find you hanging from a ceiling in a cocoon.

Never heard of ear incest before

[NewbieJr 540]

May incests crawl into your ear as you sleep. May they burrow into your brain, and lay thousands of eggs. After several days of eye watering headaches, you start to feel crawling legs inside your head as eggs start to hatch. As you run around in circles in agony, you decide to bash your head into a brick wall for sweet, sweet relief. As blessed unconsciousness washes over you, you feel bugs escaping your body from every orafice. The detectives find you hanging from a ceiling in a cocoon.

Freudian slip?

[phillybear 364]

Never heard of ear incest before

 

Proof reading is for sissies. :mad:

[30 Fat, Bald & Texan 5]

Good Morning

[Chocolate Milk 0]

So you're hung like a lightswitch huh?

[kutulu 1,552]

FOCK OFF. Seriously.

 

The restrooms at work are becoming a house of haunted mirrors this week. As I stroll into the empty men’s room, I pause for a moment, enjoying the wafting aroma of fresh urinal cake, much like a child would wake up with joy in their heart upon smelling freshly baked cinammon rolls first thing in the morning coming from their kitchen. It is exactly like that, except for the joy in the heart thing, and the cinammon thing. Actually, I am just pleased that I am not gagging from the smell of dried up urine on the floor and wall around the urinals. Select the far right of the 5 urinals to partake in my morning urination ritual. Just as the stream is kick starting, the door creaks open, and a stranger walks into the room. He gazes at the empty stalls, gazes at the 4 unoccupied urinals, and strolls over to the urinal next to mine, and unzips. I am instantly alarmed. What the fock? With all the places of discharge available, you select to stand next to me, deciding to trudge all the way across the room, not even selecting the urinals closest to you? There are no partition walls. This is about the gayest thing I have ever seen. There is such a thing as space. There is a reason why men do not sit next to their male friends in a movie theatre, but keep an empty seat in between. There is a reason why men sit on separate couches when watching a ball game. SPACE. Motherfocker is probably trying to take a gander at my franks and beans. I try to watch out of the corner of my eye to see if he is watching out of the corner of his eye, succeeding only in getting my eyes to hurt. I finish up as quickly as I can, give a shake, zip up, and start to walk past my tormentor. The evil man snickers. Oh, ho. That bastard. He WAS looking at it. I swiftly turn around, and *BAP* donkey punch him to the back of the head. His forehead bounces with a sickening *MAP* off the wall, and he slowly slumps to the floor, eventually settling in an awkward pose, flat on his back, bleeding heavily from the head wound. An ever widening pool of urine starts to spread over the floor. On the bright side, since he wasn’t looking at my face, I don’t think he would be able to recognize his attacker. I hear that the last thing that a person does before he dies is release his bowels. I think I will duck out before I see something running down his legs. But first, maybe I have time to kick his in the head a few times.

 

Fock Off.

 

R.I.P. phillybear

[heavy-set 39]

R.I.P. phillybear

:furiousbanana:

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

R.I.P. phillybear

 

Fock that. That cantankerous motherfocker wouldn't want peace...

 

 

Rest in perpetual violence pb.

[kutulu 1,552]

Fock that. That cantankerous motherfocker wouldn't want peace...

Rest in perpetual violence pb.

 

"Rust In Pieces" in reference to the metal dil|do jammed up his ass. HTH