Memorable Movie Quotes

[HTH 95]

"Walt Kurtz was one of the most outstanding officers this country

has ever produced. He was a brilliant and outstanding in every way

and he was a good man too. Humanitarian man, man of wit, of humor.

He joined the Special forces. After that his ideas, methods have

become unsound... Unsound."

 

"Well, you see Willard... In this war, things get confused

out there, power, ideals, the old morality, and practical

military necessity. Out there with these natives it must be

a temptation to be god. Because there's a conflict in

every human heart between the rational and the irrational,

between good and evil. The good does not always triumph.

Sometimes the dark side overcomes what Lincoln called

the better angels of our nature. Every man has got a

breaking point. You and I have. Walter Kurtz has reached his.

And very obviously, he has gone insane."

 

[HTH 95]

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Erm, what about the planes, sir? Surely we must issue the recall code immediately.

General Jack D. Ripper: Group Captain, the planes are not gonna be recalled. My attack orders have been issued, and the orders stand.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Well, if you'll excuse me saying so, sir, that would be, to my way of thinking, rather... well, rather an odd way of looking at it. You see, if a Russian attack was in progress, we would certainly not be hearing civilian broadcast.

General Jack D. Ripper: Are you certain of that, Mandrake?

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Oh, I'm absolutely positive about it.

General Jack D. Ripper: And what if it is true?

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Well, I'm afraid I'm still not with you, sir, because, I mean, if a Russian attack was not in progress, then your use of Plan R - in fact, your order to the entire Wing... Oh. I would say, sir, that there were something dreadfully wrong somewhere.

General Jack D. Ripper: Now why don't you just take it easy, Group Captain, and please make me a drink of grain alcohol and rainwater, and help yourself to whatever you'd like.

[Mandrake snaps to attention and salutes]

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: General Ripper, Sir, as an officer in Her Majesty's Air Force, it is my clear duty, under the present circumstances, to issue the recall code, upon my own authority, and bring back the Wing. If you'll excuse me, sir.

[He finds the doors locked]

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I'm afraid, sir, I must ask you for the key, and the recall code. Have you got them handy, sir?

[Toro 1]

It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now. Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

[HTH 95]

General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, about, uh, 35 minutes ago, General Jack Ripper, the commanding general of, uh, Burpelson Air Force Base, issued an order to the 34 B-52's of his Wing, which were airborne at the time as part of a special exercise we were holding called Operation Drop-Kick. Now, it appears that the order called for the planes to, uh, attack their targets inside Russia. The, uh, planes are fully armed with nuclear weapons with an average load of, um, 40 megatons each. Now, the central display of Russia will indicate the position of the planes. The triangles are their primary targets; the squares are their secondary targets. The aircraft will begin penetrating Russian radar cover within, uh, 25 minutes.

President Merkin Muffley: General Turgidson, I find this very difficult to understand. I was under the impression that I was the only one in authority to order the use of nuclear weapons.

General "Buck" Turgidson: That's right, sir, you are the only person authorized to do so. And although I, uh, hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like, uh, General Ripper exceeded his authority.

 

[kutulu 1,701]

E.T., phone home.

[HTH 95]

E.T., phone home.

 

Don't get the joke, sorry.

 

 

Major T. J. "King" Kong: Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

[kutulu 1,701]

Don't get the joke, sorry.

 

 

 

 

It was from ET.

[itsbigmoni 1]

I like the part in carlitos way when carlito ends up punching the mirror. A mans gotta do what mans gotta do and women will never understand.

[jocstrap 8]

Just do it, just do it (in a disguised voice) - ben stiller - starsky and hutch

[guitarmonkiy 0]

"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole multi colored collection of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."

 

 

 

 

 

"With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know."

 

 

 

 

 

or maybe one of the best rants I can think of right now...

 

"Well, fock you, too. Fock me, fock you, fock this whole city and everyone in it. Fock the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fock the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a focking job! Fock the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in focking training. SLOW THE FOCK DOWN! Fock the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dlcks on my Channel 35. Fock the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fock the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you focking came from! Fock the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fock the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gekko wannabe mother fockers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron a$$holes to jail for FOCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shlt? Give me a focking break! Tyco! Worldcom! Fock the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fockin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fock the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fock the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fock the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fock on! Fock the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fock the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fock the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fock JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fockin' Otisville, J! Fock Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist a$$holes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fuel fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass! Fock Jacob Elinsky, whining malcontent. Fock Francis Xavier Slaughtery my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass. Fock Naturelle Riviera, I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back, sold me up the river, focking bltch. Fock my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar sipping on club sodas, selling whisky to firemen, cheering the Bronx bombers. Fock this whole city and everyone in it. From the row-houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to focking ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place.

[pause]

No. No, fock you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all, and you threw it away, you dumb fock!"

 

 

Jesus that took way too long to change around the "focks" or it would've just been half censored mumbo jumbo. Anyway, great quotes, and great movies, IMHO.

[IGotWorms 4,062]

Mr Lebowski, this is Bill Salinger of the Southern Cal bowling league. We received an, uh, an informal complaint that a member of your team - a Walter Sobchak? - drew a firearm during league play. If this is true, of course, it contravenes a number of the league's by-laws and also article 27...

[IndyTom 0]

Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[Apu Nahasapeemapetilon 0]

How do you know who you're shooting?

 

Well, the way I figure it. The ones that run are VC. The ones that stay still are well trained VC.

 

 

[Thornton Melon 648]

"You know everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that. They're not even amusing ACCIDENTALLY! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They'd say, "How can you stand it?" I'd say, "'Cause I've been with Del Griffith. I can take ANYTHING." You know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah." It's like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back - you would. Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener! "

[kilroy69 1,265]

How do you know who you're shooting?

 

Well, the way I figure it. The ones that run are VC. The ones that stay still are well trained VC.

Good one but I prefer

 

How can you shoot women,,,,,and children?

 

Easy ya just don't lead em as much.