Recidivist seroriously (allgedly) injured himself and one other in a car crash

[Recidivist 1]

For the sake of discretion, I cannot reveal all that I want and all you deserve to know. Suffice it to say I was out out of my car and rendering first-aid to the other motorist well before the gendarmes and meat wagons arrived. We both were released that afternoon (I was alleged to have told all medical staff attending to me to hurry the fock up as I was fine and didnt't "want to miss the 1pm kickoffs).

 

My mother (who is a certified, but non-practicing RN) was in the trauma center with me - I'm assuming I called her on the ambulance ride to the the hospital, as I could have been transported to any three (3) hospitals.

 

According to my dear Mother, I advised them of the mental illness from which I suffer (b-polar) and that I have an unusally low heart rate - they were clocking me at 35 bpm (my medical charts state 38-42 bpm for my baseline). I ripped off the electrodes and IV tubes as quickly as they were inserted; I am a sick fock but folks just want to just make me a zombie with the BS scripts they write - let me self-medicate, for the love of God and his only son I pray.

 

Things got exciting when they tried to stick me for a blood sample; I was cool with the IV as I knew they were giving me fluids and not taking my own. However when the wannabe nurse/phlebotomist tried to jabe my huge asss right arm vein, I went batshitt crazy. Between my mother's soothing voice and the three (3) bigasss orderlies who were restraing me, a sample was obtained.

 

BTW, I have already determined the other motorist is A-OK. I have sent him an anonymous gift card to one of the areas finest restaurant.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Well, you are no Tiger Woods

[MedStudent 56]

Stay well my man. You are one of the more interesting posters in here.

[KSB2424 3,087]

Was the other motorist male and if so did you perform mouth to mouth? If this is the case, how was it?

[kutulu 1,564]

Mom's can size?

[wiffleball 4,686]

Swear to God, this guy should get a lifetime achievement award for most Ironic (and fitting) Username.

[Recidivist 1]

Stay well my man. You are one of the more interesting posters in here.

 

Thanks bro. I enjoy your posts as well, especially when you include pics - it sems you get some fine tail.

 

Also, I'm not a homosexual, but if I were ever to be incarcerated, I wouldn't mind having you as a cellmate

[Recidivist 1]

Was the other motorist male and if so did you perform mouth to mouth? If this is the case, how was it?

 

The other motorist was male. I did not perform mouth to mouth, though I woud have if necessary.

[wiffleball 4,686]

So, at least tell us about the accident.

[phillybear 365]

The other motorist was male. I did not perform mouth to mouth, though I woud have if necessary.

 

I bet you're more of an ass to mouth twink.

[wiffleball 4,686]

I bet you're more of an ass to mouth twink.

 

ResASStation.

[Recidivist 1]

Mom's can size?

 

I believe she is 36D.

 

She could stand to lose about 25 pounds though.

 

In her prime, my mom would have qualified as a milf. She used to be 5'5" and weighed 105 -110. She had a great figure back then (probably 34 C) She just turned 63, but she looks like she's in her early 40s.

 

On a slightly related topic, the first pubic hair I ever saw was hers - she, my sister and myself were in the shower together. We had returned home from the beach and my mom wanted to make sure we got all the sand off - I was 5 and my sister was 2. I inquired why my mom had "hair on her vulva" and my sister did not. My mom explained that my sister would have hair on her vulva as she got older and I would get hiar around my genitals in a few years. I also inquired as to why my mom's pubic hair (auburn/light brown) did not match the hair on her head (she was bleached blond back then). My mom was always very open and honest whenever I asked questions about sex -she actually let me read the book "The Joy of Sex" by Alex Comfort, Phd.) when I was in third grade.

 

I don't know my sister's can size, but she's probably about my mom's size. She too could drop about 30 pounds or so.

 

As for my can size, my coat size is 38L to 40L (6'2", 160-165)lbs., depending upon the brand.

 

I hope I have answered your question

[kutulu 1,564]

I believe she is 36D.

 

She could stand to lose about 25 pounds though.

 

In her prime, my mom would have qualified as a milf. She used to be 5'5" and weighed 105 -110. She had a great figure back then (probably 34 C) She just turned 63, but she looks like she's in her early 40s.

 

On a slightly related topic, the first pubic hair I ever saw was hers - she, my sister and myself were in the shower together. We had returned home from the beach and my mom wanted to make sure we got all the sand off - I was 5 and my sister was 2. I inquired why my mom had "hair on her vulva" and my sister did not. My mom explained that my sister would have hair on her vulva as she got older and I would get hiar around my genitals in a few years. I also inquired as to why my mom's pubic hair (auburn/light brown) did not match the hair on her head (she was bleached blond back then). My mom was always very open and honest whenever I asked questions about sex -she actually let me read the book "The Joy of Sex" by Alex Comfort, Phd.) when I was in third grade.

 

I don't know my sister's can size, but she's probably about my mom's size. She too could drop about 30 pounds or so.

 

As for my can size, my coat size is 38L to 40L (6'2", 160-165)lbs., depending upon the brand.

 

I hope I have answered your question

 

Not only did you answer my question...you also shed some light on a lot of unanswered questions we all had about you.

[Recidivist 1]

So, at least tell us about the accident.

 

I was making a right hand turn off a major thoroughfare onto a side street. The other motorist was hauling asss on that side street to make the light, so he cut the corner too sharp. In so doing, he crossed the centerline and we collided. My car spun counterclockwise almost 180 degrees and ended up in a vacant parking lot on the other side of the side street - it actually came to a stop in one of the diagonal parking spaces as if someone had actually intended to park it into the space backwards - it was in between the lines and the rear tires were just a few inches from the concrete stop.

 

It was essentially a near head on collision.

 

Despite the intensity of the impact, the air bags did not deploy.

 

I was knocked out cold (I struck my head on the side pillar to which the windshield is mounted) and when I came to I was able to exit my vehicle and check on the other guy moments before the paramedics arrived.

 

I was angered that they took me to the hospital and when I found out which hospital they were transporting me to, I screamed at the paramedic driver to turn around and take me to my preferred hospital - they did not.

 

I called my mom during the ambulance ride to let her know what was going on. She got to the hospital shortly after I arrived. According to her, I was very combative with everyone - I tried pulling out the IV tube in my left arm and they had three of their biggest orderlies restraining me as I they withdrew a blood sample. My conniption heightened when they told me I was going to have a CAT scan done. The only adjective employed was the F-word in gerund form (i.e., f-ing assshole, f-ng bullshitt). I told them everything they were doing was part of their f-ng racket of hospital and they were just doing all of these unnecessary procedures to milk my insurance company as they had already determined I had great coverage. They wanted to keep me overnite (it was a little afternoon at the time) and was finally able to check myself out (against medical advice) before 3pm. My mom (who is actually an RN, albeit has not worked as one since the early 1970s) wanted to take me to her house to observe me, as this was at least the sixth concussion I have sustained. I refused and threatend to walk home (at least 5 miles away). She knew I was serious so she took me home and stayed with me for a few hours.

 

My mom said the only person I was halfway decent to was the deputy who was conducting the investigation.

 

No citations have been issued and I have not gotten the police report as it hasn't been finalized.

 

Also, someone stole my sunglasses and the sheath for the pocket knife I had on my belt. They took the sheath, but not my knife - WTF is that about?

 

I will post any updates as the information comes available - like I said, I was unconscious for a spell and don't remember every detail - I'm still trying to fill in all the blanks.

 

Thanks for asking

[phillybear 365]

Also, someone stole my sunglasses...I was unconscious for a spell and don't remember every detail - I'm still trying to fill in all the blanks.

 

I'll fill in the blanks....

 

I remember the first fish I ever bought. I had just come back from a family summer vacation in California, and I musta had like some tourist stink on me. Was like 3AM and I had a craving for some paté from a little place named Florént in the Meat Packing District (Men in Black was shot there). They have awesome paté, and it comes with bread, and mustard and cornichons, and olives ... used to be like $8, and they are open to 4 AM.

 

Anyway, one night I was walking over there from my APT to pick up my order (they do not deliver), walk around a corner, I see 2 black transvestites for about one second before I get pepper sprayed. I was wearing glasses, and I whipped off my glasses, but they got me point blank, I was pretty blind (NEVER want to have glasses on during a fight anyway) and they came at me, but I fought them off blind. Never did find my glasses ... but I did get my focking paté!

 

And I called the cops. Filed a report. I had like $40 in my wallet ... which should be a pass for a mugging, but no ... they just focking attacked me! Didn't even ask for my wallet. However ... my $400 designer transition glasses were never found. So, they mighta gotten my glasses ... I dunno.

 

You can't make this shiat up. Only in New York. They were eventually busted. Got a more sophisticated plan, robbing guys looking to pick up male prostitutes, and pretending to be cops. I'm pretty sure it was the same guys. They could not fight ... worth a damn. If it was the same guys. Crakhead trannies. Might as well be the Mafia ... you do not want crackhead trannies mad at you. Trust me. I never pressed any charges.

 

Never got my glasses back either. Brand new. Ken Cole.

[Recidivist 1]

I'll fill in the blanks....

 

You're not the first to accuse me of being an alias of GFIAFP. You can believe whatever you like, but keep in mind at least a few of the most important distinctions:

 

1) All of my anecdotes are honest and truthful - like the axiom says, truth is stranger than fiction.

 

2) I have a superior grasp of the Queen's English and can express myself much more fluently than GF (despite the misspelling in this thread's title).

 

3) I actually posted a photo on the pinned Geek photo thread - I don't recall seeing one of you or GF. Perhaps you two are one and the same

 

BTW, have you given up posting your morning rants? They were almost always hilarious and worth the read.

 

Be easy bro.

[jets24 6]

Bi Polar is bullsh!t. Get over yourself already.

[Recidivist 1]

Bi Polar is bullsh!t. Get over yourself already.

 

You know not from whence you speak. I used to share your view until I was diagnosed and did my own research. Also, I have objective data to confirm this condition (EEGs).

 

Chances are someone you know and love suffers from this illness, so for their sake, please have some compassion.

[wiffleball 4,686]

You know not from whence you speak. I used to share your view until I was diagnosed and did my own research. Also, I have objective data to confirm this condition (EEGs).

 

Chances are someone you know and love suffers from this illness, so for their sake, please have some compassion.

 

Gotta love Jets. He's on Lexapro for 'anxiety', but thinks BiPolarism is "bullshiit" and alcoholics shouldn't rely upon "a drug" to cure their problems.

 

'Tis one thing to be discompassionate, quite another to be a raving hypocrite.

[Recidivist 1]

Gotta love Jets. He's on Lexapro for 'anxiety', but thinks BiPolarism is "bullshiit" and alcoholics shouldn't rely upon "a drug" to cure their problems.

 

'Tis one thing to be discompassionate, quite another to be a raving hypocrite.

 

Lexapro was the first thing they put me on - I might as well have eaten a Tic-tac instead.

 

They upped me to Seroquell, Tegretol and finally lithium. Each of those made me feel tranquilized and impotent - literally, as I did not wake up with my usual morning hard-on the size of Alaska (ok, perhaps Rhode Island is more appropriate).

 

I feel much better under my own regimen.

[wiffleball 4,686]

Lexapro was the first thing they put me on - I might as well have eaten a Tic-tac instead.

 

They upped me to Seroquell, Tegretol and finally lithium. Each of those made me feel tranquilized and impotent - literally, as I did not wake up with my usual morning hard-on the size of Alaska (ok, perhaps Rhode Island is more appropriate).

 

I feel much better under my own regimen.

 

Yeah, Lithium will pretty much render you like Nicholson at the end of Cookoo's Nest. That's some powerful chit. - Too powerful beyond a clinical setting IMHO.

 

Beware large Indians carrying plumbing fixtures.

[Recidivist 1]

Yeah, Lithium will pretty much render you like Nicholson at the end of Cookoo's Nest. That's some powerful chit. - Too powerful beyond a clinical setting IMHO.

 

Beware large Indians carrying plumbing fixtures.

I'm part Injun (1/8 Creek blooded) so perhaps I'll be seen as a kemosabe.

 

I'm more worried about the cops showing up at my door.

[jets24 6]

Gotta love Jets. He's on Lexapro for 'anxiety', but thinks BiPolarism is "bullshiit" and alcoholics shouldn't rely upon "a drug" to cure their problems.

 

'Tis one thing to be discompassionate, quite another to be a raving hypocrite.

 

Great to have you back doosh. I thought you did us all a favor and quit this place. Hows the new job working out?

[bostonlager 2,508]

Glad all is well.

[Recidivist 1]

I finally got the accident report Saturday morning. I had a friend pick it up for me (I had to sign an affidavit as did he allowing him to pick it up). I was afraid to go to the police station myself as I was certain I was going to be arrested on the spot given the fact they had drawn blood at the hospital. I knew what my blood/alcohol level was (more than twice FL's legal limit) and was afraid they were doing a comprehensive drug screen of the sample and that was why it was taking so long to complete the accident report.

 

The report stated no sample was taken and that there were no results obtained

 

Further, drinking and/or drugs were not a factor in either driver's actions

 

Investigation is complete. No citations will be issued

 

I found out the other motorist was not injured at all (just dinged his knee - he was out of the hospital in less than an hour) - this was my biggest concern.

 

Both vehicles were totaled - I killed my car

 

I was totally braced for being arrested and prosecuted. In the last year alone I've been stopped 4 seperate times (3 in one week - that was a fun week though) for suspicion of DUI. Each time I was allowed to leave the scene as I was able to have someone pick me up within a few minutes. There was actually a fifth occasion several weeks ago where I could have been charged with constructive DUI (I had parked my car and gotten out so I could attack the drive-thru ATM which ate my card moments earlier) - I was actually handcuffed to a railing while they took statements from the half-dozen or so people honking behind me that I had verbally assualted and challenged to fight.

 

But there is some good to come from this: I stopped consuming any and all intoxicants Friday before last. Today, if I make it, will be my 10th day of sobriety. I've tried this a couple times over the past few years (I actually lasted 56 days in Fall '07) only to fail. This time however, I have committed myself to AA. I go to meetings everyday (sometimes twice) and can honestly say I do not crave alcohol . . . . I still have cravings for drugs (especially opiates), but I know can't go down that road.

[phillybear 365]

But there is some good to come from this: I stopped consuming any and all intoxicants Friday before last. Today, if I make it, will be my 10th day of sobriety. I've tried this a couple times over the past few years (I actually lasted 56 days in Fall '07) only to fail. This time however, I have committed myself to AA. I go to meetings everyday (sometimes twice) and can honestly say I do not crave alcohol . . . . I still have cravings for drugs (especially opiates), but I know can't go down that road.

 

You are well on your way to becoming the most boring poster here.