Which Geek is this?

[thegeneral 1,544]

https://twitter.com/thesgtjoker/status/1788537537423626503?s=46&t=0YXe9oUqqYEnHOHU8BsZkQ

Little fella got upset!

[Hawkeye21 1,904]

Why are there so many stupid people?

[thegeneral 1,544]

35 minutes ago, Hawkeye21 said:

Why are there so many stupid people?

This dude could have easily caught a beating.

[Hawkeye21 1,904]

Just now, thegeneral said:

This dude could have easily caught a beating.

He deserved it.

[Pimpadeaux 2,325]

MAH SIXTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS!

KICK ROCKS, B!TCH!

[thegeneral 1,544]

Just now, Pimpadeaux said:

MAH SIXTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS!

KICK ROCKS, B!TCH!

She should have tazed him in the face at that moment and screamed “Ride the Lightening MF’er”

[Pimpadeaux 2,325]

1 minute ago, thegeneral said:

She should have tazed him in the face at that moment and screamed “Ride the Lightening MF’er”

I've been through those checkpoints a few times. You do not fock around and find out.

[thegeneral 1,544]

1 minute ago, Pimpadeaux said:

I've been through those checkpoints a few times. You do not fock around and find out.

Yep.

[Pimpadeaux 2,325]

Years ago, I was with my girlfriend in Big Bend, and we were in her car for some reason.

We were on our way out when Border Patrol in an unmarked car pulled us over, and two agents came out with their hands on their guns.

They said a vehicle matching our car's description reportedly had been down by the Rio Grande and picked up a load of narcotics brought over from Mexico on a flatbed boat. There are no vehicle crossings in Big Bend.

They asked to inspect the car trunk, and my girlfriend told them to fock off because they didn't have a search warrant. They said they'd just detain us until they got the search warrant, and the nearest just was like a bazillion miles away. It's so remote out there that you can't even pick up a radio station. None.

The thing is, she was a pharmaceutical rep and had a whole trunk full of samples for prescriptions drugs.

She said, "Fine, fock it. I'm a pharmaceutical rep and have a trunk full of drug samples."

At this point, the agents seemed a little amused and had smirks on their faces.

She opens the trunk, and there are boxes and boxes of drugs, and she starts pulling them out one at a time:

SEE THIS! IT'S FOR FOCKING YEAST INFECTIONS. 

THIS ONE IS AN ANTI-INFLAMMATORY. 

HERE IS ONE FOR URINARY TRACT INFECTIONS IN WOMEN. 

HERE'S ONE FOR FEMININE HYGIENE! 

They let us go, and she b!tched about it the whole five-hour drive back to Midland, where we lived at the time.

 

[thegeneral 1,544]

36 minutes ago, Pimpadeaux said:

Years ago, I was with my girlfriend in Big Bend, and we were in her car for some reason.

We were on our way out when Border Patrol in an unmarked car pulled us over, and two agents came out with their hands on their guns.

They said a vehicle matching our car's description reportedly had been down by the Rio Grande and picked up a load of narcotics brought over from Mexico on a flatbed truck. There are no vehicle crossings in Big Bend.

They asked to inspect the car trunk, and my girlfriend told them to fock off because they didn't have a search warrant. They said they'd just detain us until they got the search warrant. 

The thing is, she was a pharmaceutical rep and had a whole trunk full of samples for prescriptions drugs.

She said, "Fine, fock it. I'm a pharmaceutical rep and have a truck full of drug samples."

At this point, the agents seemed a little amused and had smirks on their faces.

She opens the truck, and there are boxes and boxes of drugs, and she starts pulling them out one at a time:

SEE THIS! IT'S FOR FOCKING YEAST INFECTIONS. 

THIS ONE IS AN ANTI-INFLAMMATORY. 

HERE IS ONE FOR URINARY TRACT INFECTIONS IN WOMEN. 

HERE'S ONE FOR FEMININE HYGIENE! 

They let us go, and she b!tched about it the whole five-hour drive back to Midland, where we lived at the time.

 

Too funny. I did a backpacking trip there like 25 years ago and you used to be able to take a little boat across the river to some tiny town with no issue. Wild javelina packs running all over the place. A very cool spot of the country. 

[Hardcore troubadour 12,937]

1 hour ago, Pimpadeaux said:

Years ago, I was with my girlfriend in Big Bend, and we were in her car for some reason.

We were on our way out when Border Patrol in an unmarked car pulled us over, and two agents came out with their hands on their guns.

They said a vehicle matching our car's description reportedly had been down by the Rio Grande and picked up a load of narcotics brought over from Mexico on a flatbed truck. There are no vehicle crossings in Big Bend.

They asked to inspect the car trunk, and my girlfriend told them to fock off because they didn't have a search warrant. They said they'd just detain us until they got the search warrant. 

The thing is, she was a pharmaceutical rep and had a whole trunk full of samples for prescriptions drugs.

She said, "Fine, fock it. I'm a pharmaceutical rep and have a truck full of drug samples."

At this point, the agents seemed a little amused and had smirks on their faces.

She opens the truck, and there are boxes and boxes of drugs, and she starts pulling them out one at a time:

SEE THIS! IT'S FOR FOCKING YEAST INFECTIONS. 

THIS ONE IS AN ANTI-INFLAMMATORY. 

HERE IS ONE FOR URINARY TRACT INFECTIONS IN WOMEN. 

HERE'S ONE FOR FEMININE HYGIENE! 

They let us go, and she b!tched about it the whole five-hour drive back to Midland, where we lived at the time.

 

Sounds like a kunt. Did you marry her too? 

[EternalShinyAndChrome 2,717]

1 minute ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Sounds like a kunt. Did you marry her too? 

Correct.  She did marry the kunt.

[Mike Honcho 4,141]

MAGA...WHY DON'T THEY ENFORCE THE BORDER LAWS???

MAGA...I DON'T HAVE TO COMPLY WITH THE BORDER LAWS!!!

[Mike Honcho 4,141]

Also, if I was his brother, I definitely wouldn't be giving him anymore rides.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,937]

That guys not MAGA. He’s a libtard. Look at those glasses. 

[Alias Detective 1,193]

Where did anyone get he was a Maga?

[Pimpadeaux 2,325]

2 hours ago, thegeneral said:

Too funny. I did a backpacking trip there like 25 years ago and you used to be able to take a little boat across the river to some tiny town with no issue. Wild javelina packs running all over the place. A very cool spot of the country. 

You can't do that anymore.

On that same trip, we went there with another couple.

Me and the other dude wanted to go over there on the boat, and I'd been there a bunch of times before.

But my girlfriend thought it unsafe and demanded we not go, making an ultimatum that if we went, she'd leave without us, and the other woman went along with that.

We said fock it and went. We were staying in the Chisos, a long-ass way from that crossing, but we met a couple of other people who just happened to have the campsite right next to us in the Chisos, so we told them our ride probably took off, and they thought the story was funny said they'd just bring us back if that happened.

We went over, drank a bunch of tequila and bought some goofy Mexican hats and cheap ukuleles that were impossible to tune. 

We made it back, and the girlfriend was still there and mad as hell. She made us sit in the back seat, where on the way back to the Chisos we proceeded to serenade the ladies with Mexican songs sung out of key and played out of key with our chitty ukuleles.

This did not sit well with the girlfriend, who proceeded to pull off the road, slam on the brakes and yell at us from the front seat. I think she threatened to use her gun under the seat.

We remained quiet the rest of the way back, but when we got to camp, we reunited with the folks at the next campsite and proceeded to party with them all night, further angering the ladies.

So the girlfriend already had a lingering head of bees by the time Border Patrol pulled us over the next day.

We broke up not long after that.

I took my sons to Big Bend for Spring Break a few years ago, and now there is a Border Patrol checkpoint you have to go through to get to that little town, and you can't go over there unless you have a PASSPORT

Yeah, wide-open borders my ass. 

 

 

[EternalShinyAndChrome 2,717]

I would have dragged him out of the car at the first sign of the attitude and beat the living s*** out of him.

[thegeneral 1,544]

34 minutes ago, Pimpadeaux said:

You can't do that anymore.

On that same trip, we went there with another couple.

Me and the other dude wanted to go over there on the boat, and I'd been there a bunch of times before.

But my girlfriend thought it unsafe and demanded we not go, making an ultimatum that if we went, she'd leave without us, and the other woman went along with that.

We said fock it and went. We were staying in the Chisos, a long-ass way from that crossing, but we met a couple of other people who just happened to have the campsite right next to us in the Chisos, so we told them our ride probably took off, and they thought the story was funny said they'd just bring us back if that happened.

We went over, drank a bunch of tequila and bought some goofy Mexican hats and cheap ukuleles that were impossible to tune. 

We made it back, and the girlfriend was still there and mad as hell. She made us sit in the back seat, where on the way back to the Chisos we proceeded to serenade the ladies with Mexican songs sung out of key and played out of key with our chitty ukuleles.

This did not sit well with the girlfriend, who proceeded to pull off the road, slam on the brakes and yell at us from the front seat. I think she threatened to use her gun under the seat.

We remained quiet the rest of the way back, but when we got to camp, we reunited with the folks at the next campsite and proceeded to party with them all night, further angering the ladies.

So the girlfriend already had a lingering head of bees by the time Border Patrol pulled us over the next day.

We broke up not long after that.

I took my sons to Big Bend for Spring Break a few years ago, and now there is a Border Patrol checkpoint you have to go through to get to that little town, and you can't go over there unless you have a PASSPORT

Yeah, wide-open borders my ass. 

 

 

You should have asked her if any of the pills in the trunk treated menstrual issues

Figured about getting to that town. There was not much there when we went but we did get some food and beers.

Only other things I remember about the park was how quiet it was even though it was so wide open and camping one night all these javelinas going nuts outside my tent. 

[Pimpadeaux 2,325]

2 hours ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Sounds like a kunt. Did you marry her too? 

Oh no. I think the last straw was me coming over to her apartment to feed her cat while she was off peddling pharmies and finding an eviction notice on the door, hinting to financial irresponsibility. That was fresh off the prairiebilly family reunion in some nasty Texas Panhandle town in which I partook of terrible food and witnessed horrible family infighting that led to fisticuffs in the pool area of the cheap hotel.

I've told some good stories here. Give me credit for that, boyo.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,937]

Just now, Pimpadeaux said:

Oh no. I think the last straw was me coming over to her apartment to feed her cat while she was off peddling pharmies and finding an eviction notice on the door, hinting to financial irresponsibility. That was fresh off the prairiebilly family reunion in some nasty Texas Panhandle town in which I witness horrible food and family infighting that led to fisticuffs in the pool area of the cheap hotel.

I've told some good stories here. Give me credit for that, boyo.

Ok. Not bad 

[Pimpadeaux 2,325]

11 minutes ago, thegeneral said:

You should have asked her if any of the pills in the trunk treated menstrual issues

Figured about getting to that town. There was not much there when we went but we did get some food and beers.

Only other things I remember about the park was how quiet it was even though it was so wide open and camping one night all these javelinas going nuts outside my tent. 

LOL!!!! Same thing happened to me when me and some buddies went there on Spring Break. The only tent we put up was to keep the beer.

We slept on cots under the stars, and one night a pack of peccaries, which are basically javelinas, came in, making a bunch of noise and being irritated with one another. We got up on the picnic tables and watched them.

One night, I was on my cot and woke up sensing something, and there saw a coyote sniffing at my face from inches away. I told it to fock off, and it left

Years later, I was in that same camp with a different boyo, and there was some dork walking around the campground with what looked like a radio pack and a sensor.

He got near us, and I asked what the fock he was doing, and he said tracking mountain lions, and there was one 50 away.

Fifty yards, I asked?

No, 50 feet, he said. You never seen them.

So there were mountain lions sneaking around just feet away.

I slept in the tent that night.

[Pimpadeaux 2,325]

6 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Ok. Not bad 

I'm a troll and storyteller.

It is what it is.

You'd probably like having a beer with me.

The only one here I'd never have a beer with was Peefoam.

The Silverbacks know I'm trolling and largely let it be.

It's true that I can't stand Trump. 

Now back to our irregularly scheduled programming.

[thegeneral 1,544]

1 minute ago, Pimpadeaux said:

LOL!!!! Same thing happened to me when me and some buddies went there on Spring Break. The only tent we put up was to keep the beer.

We slept on cots under the stars, and one night a pack of peccaries, which are basically javelinas, came in, making a bunch of noise and being irritated with one another. We got up on the picnic tables and watched them.

One night, I was on my cot and woke up sensing something, and there saw a coyote sniffing at my face from inches away. I told it to fock off, and it left

Years later, I was in that same camp with a different boyo, and there was some dork walking around the campground with what looked like a radio pack and a sensor.

He got near us, and I asked what the fock he was doing, and he said tracking mountain lions, and there was one 50 away.

Fifty yards, I asked?

No, 50 feet, he said. You never seen them.

So there were mountain lions sneaking around just feet away.

I slept in the tent that night.

We were backpacking so no cots but yeah I wouldn’t have slept outside in any case. Those little javelinas (maybe there were the peccaries you mentioned) were mean little fockers  

Plus crazy bugs in Texas. 

[Pimpadeaux 2,325]

5 minutes ago, thegeneral said:

We were backpacking so no cots but yeah I wouldn’t have slept outside in any case. Those little javelinas (maybe there were the peccaries you mentioned) were mean little fockers  

Plus crazy bugs in Texas. 

Yeah, Big Bend bugs are like deep-sea creatures. They're either built for speed, protection or fighting. The plants out there are the same way. Every plant is built to survive and like a Bradley Fighting Vehicle. All about surviving in a desolate, unforgiving place that gets stupid hot in the summer, freezes in the winter and sees little rainfall, and when it does, it's some hurricane remnants off a Pacific hurricane that turns arroyos into these wildly violent floodfests that sweep away everything in their paths.Get your vehicle stuck on a remote path? Better have enough food and water for a few weeks. 

Crazy place, but I love it. Prolly my favorite place on Earth outside your mom's bagina.

[thegeneral 1,544]

2 minutes ago, Pimpadeaux said:

Yeah, Big Bend bugs are like deep-sea creatures. They're either built for speed, protection or fighting. The plants out there are the same way. Every plant is built to survive and like a Bradley Fighting Vehicle. All about surviving in a desolate, unforgiving place that get stupid hot in the summer, freezes in the winter and sees little rainfall, and when it does, it's some hurricane remnants off a Pacific hurricane that turns arroyos into these wildly violent floodfests that sweep away everything in their paths.

Crazy place, but I love it. Prolly my favorite place on Earth outside your mom's bagina.

Coincidentally Big Bend is the nickname people have for your mom’s cooch!

[Pimpadeaux 2,325]

1 minute ago, thegeneral said:

Coincidentally Big Bend is the nickname people have for your mom’s cooch!

Well played, sir. Well played.

You doing anything later?