A man walks into a bar...

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

An eagles and a cowboys fan walk into a bar,

 

Everyone laughs at them

 

Tony Romo attempts to sneak into a bar, but he is stuffed.

[patweisers44 845]

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:

 

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches - $1.00

Handjobs - $5.00

 

He calls the rather attractive bartender over and asks her "are you the one that gives the handjobs?"

 

She replies: "yes, I am."

 

He replies: "Go wash your hands and make me a GD Grilled Cheese sandwich."

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Bump

[fandandy 3,313]

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender looks up and say "Wow man, where'd you get that?" The parrot replies "Africa. There's millions of 'em."

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender looks up and say "Wow man, where'd you get that?" The parrot replies "Africa. There's millions of 'em."

 

fandandy walks into a bar on the moon...

[Bert 1,128]

A man walks into a bar. A fat ugly girl grabs his ass and says: "You're cute, you got a phone number?" The man relies: "Yes I do. Do you have a pen?" The girl replies: "I sure do." The man says: "You better get back in it before the farmer knows you're missing!"

[GobbleDog 996]

A string walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out, we don't serve strings!" So the string goes outside, twists up and brushes his hair. Walks back in and the bartender says "are you that string again?" String says "Nope! I'm a frayed knot."

[fandandy 3,313]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor and leaves.

[frank 2,306]

A man walks into a bar and proceeds to drink 20 beers while telling a long, incoherent story. Then the bartender says "last call Bunny"".

[shotsup 832]

If you walk a mile in my shoes - you'll end up in a bar.

 

[frank 2,306]

If you walk a mile in my shoes - you'll end up in a bar.

 

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

 

That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

[Thornton Melon 620]

A termite walks into a bar, sits down, turns to the guy next to him and asks , "Is the bar tender here?"

[fandandy 3,313]

Past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.