So I think I got a Black girl pregnant today ;(

[The One True God 0]

Here comes Black Jesus.

 

WWEJD?

[Giants Fan 85]

She deserved to get pregnit.

[Voltaire 4,585]

Aw c'mon. You're always doing the hit and run thing.

 

How many women has it been over the years that claim they immaculately conceived?

[Giants Fan 85]

Aw c'mon. You're always doing the hit and run thing.

 

How many women has it been over the years that claim they immaculately conceived?

 

True dat. Bichez be tellin stories, yo, Ask God ,,, it neva happened yo! Powa to yer mind tho ... learn your history, biznich.

[Giants Fan 85]

I coulda said "bro" instead of "biznitch" and it woulda rhymed but ... I felt in this case it was more important to point out, what a biznitch you really are.

[MTSkiBum 1,605]

Here comes Black Jesus.

 

WWEJD?

 

Jesus was from Southern middle east. What you mean to say is black Jesus #2.

[Giants Fan 85]

You apparently don't even know ... about Tenacious D. (sp?)

 

You suck, It's not my fault .... but you still suck. Biznitch. Even worse than this song.

 

 

Suck it ... biznitch.

 

I am starting a website called biz-nitch.biz You should totally check it out, and like bookmark it later, when I actually register it just as a joke.

 

It's gonna be funnier than that lame video, I promise.

[The One True God 0]

Aw c'mon. You're always doing the hit and run thing.

 

How many women has it been over the years that claim they immaculately conceived?

 

Thank me for Maury Povich.

 

Joseph was such a whiney biotch about it. He was all like "If you made Adam out of dirt, why'd you have to fock my wife?"...I was all like "dat ass doe".

[Giants Fan 85]

Gotta tap dat ass yo. Who could blame ya, right? And nobody even knew what went down. Yer so smoooth, yo!

 

So tell me ... Jack Nicholson is the devil right? Cause there's no way his bald ass should get more tail than me. I'm taller, for one thing. not to mention younger.

 

And, if I do decide to sell my soul, for a temporary happy life and eternity in hell, does that mean Hell is full of idiots? Is that how it works? Your soul is directly valued by how smart you are, in of course a universe where even smart people in real life, often get screwed. Shoo ... evil variance. How can we make it so everything just goes exactly like it's supposed to from now on. If you have a kids birthday party. you schedule for 2 hours later ... but what do you do, when the clown shows up 45 minutes late and your hooker has clown makeup on her cheeks?

 

Just send him home and keep the money? Ohhhh .... but the children ... I will be depriving them off a great memory, of having a drunk and pissed off clown at their fifth birthday.

 

"Yeah guess what kids ... I don't know any magic tricks, and I can't make balloon animals ... OK? Mrs. Higginsbottom ... is a friggin hoar, OK ... I'm sorry ... I know some of you don't know that word ... but it's true."

 

I would be the best angry drunk clown, with crazy stories. Problem with clowns is ... eventually you get tired of them, and you stab them in the neck with a steak knife .... and then you hafta drag them away .... dead clowns are such a PITA. At my house we have cans for trash, recycle and dead clowns. You gotta clean up your own mess. I can only help you so much. I mean, did you see a sign out in front of my house that says "Dead Clown Storage"? Well? Answer me. fockface.

[Giants Fan 85]

No? Ok ... wanna do some junk? What if instead of the soul crushing, life ending addiction

[kilroy69 1,023]

You should always use condoms when you have sex with a hooker.

[Cruzer 1,993]

You should always use condoms when you have sex with a hooker.

Or go 5-hole. Just say'n.

[Giants Fan 85]

In all seriousness, in my great grandfather's memoirs he tells a story where he smuggled a black man to freedom. Apparently he could pass with a woman ... make it look like his wife or whatever, and nobody would say anything. So, they dressed this black man up as a woman and smuggled him North. And at one point, it says something like, "I wasn't even sure I had the authority to write him a pass, but I did anyway. "If anyone should stop you and ask you for papers, you show them this, which I will sign Colonel (a lie, was only a temporary colonel) "Woods." out of the Elgin, Illinois ... light artillery something or other. He met Lincoln at one time.

 

And it may be, that almost 300 years later ... Tiger Woods has out earned all of us and become a celebrity. I don't know ... I am not making claims, I am being speculative. I am proposing a possibility, so calm down, I am not saying, all black people named Woods, stole it from my great-grandather's pass in the Civil War, I'm just saying that is very likely possible.

[Giants Fan 85]

Prove it you say? I can't. I can trace the Woods name back to 1620 and the boat Hopewell ... I can't trace what slaves decided to take that name. I know my familly never owned slaves though. I've reached out to African Americans ... what do they know .. and nobody knows shiat. My step Dad knows what Island in the Wesit Indies his family comes from ... that's pretty deep for a black man in America. 300 years is a family history ... and you know what, my white family welcome's Tiger, and Ickey and the rest. I hope we did give you a name that you could use with pride, and without fear.

 

But ... chances are, that's not how it happened. I mean I know that my og-g-grandfather smuggled a black man and wrote him a pass during the civil war ... but I also know that there were other Wood and Woods families, and some of them owned slaves. It becomes very difficult to determine ... at least, since Tiger ... I guess for the last 10 years are so, people put the S on the end of my name, I've got a habit of anytime I hear the name called, "Adam Wood" I respond, "No I wouldn't!"

 

It would be amazing if one day they were all .... seriously ... no, S .... Wood. And then a guy walked up that looked exactly like me and said, "I'm Adam Wood ... no S." friend of mine is a doctor, her last name is Daniel ... no S ... but you know everyone always adds an S in her case. It's really not that hard, and it amazes me that people fock it up ... yeah uhm ... we don't fock up stuff like that in my family. With an S .... every time. It used to be Natalie Wood ... everyone would remove the S ... but then I drowned her, and now it's Tiger Woods and people are getting it right for once. Woods. with an S. and my family was notorious abolitionists, fought for freedom. That's all true ... I can prove all that is true ... what I can't prove. just a story in a book. where "Colonel Woods" wrote a slave a pass. Coulda been. man comes to a free town ... in a new country ... and he thinks he got a pass from a colonel, in the Union. Yeah ... not really true. He was temporarily the highest ranked ... a temp colonel. More like, from what I understand it ... like the guy from KFC ... apparently after the war, a lot of people claimed to be "colonels" and ppl were cool with that.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

 

Thank me for Maury Povich.

 

Joseph was such a whiney biotch about it. He was all like "If you made Adam out of dirt, why'd you have to fock my wife?"...I was all like "dat ass doe".

[Giants Fan 85]

I am registering biznitch.biz, where I will host a biznitch free message bored. Sorry Newbs. Pretty much everyone but you will be allowed there.

 

OK ... you and edjr ... everyone else is allowed. Unless you are a biznitch. Gonna be a no biznichez allowed policy (totally, OM and Peens are allowed but on a temporary basis).

 

It's gonna be sooo cool. I can't wait. I'm gonna base who gets Mod status ... on how active you are on RotoTeams.com ...

 

Ready! Set! Go!

 

Besides Newb and edjr ... don't bother ... we don't want your kind there.

[Giants Fan 85]

Or maybe ... the board should be for confirmed biznithchez only?

 

Might be a good way for me to meet some underage Tang.

[Giants Fan 85]

All that being said .... these biznichez made a song from the canned beat on a Casio keyboard ... and it's prolly a top 5 all time song for me:

 

 

So, seriously focking good ... like the best song I heard since Nirvana good. Love those biznichez.

[Giants Fan 85]

I'm serious. It's like:

 

1. Childhood's End, Pink Floyd

2. Gut Feeling, Devo

3. Gimme Shelter, The Rolling Stones

 

and 4 or 5 is

 

Eau d' Bedroom Dancing, Le Tigre ... amazing, amazing song I am so glad I stumbled upon it ... it has literally improved my life. So, so good.

[Giants Fan 85]

Partly for me I am sure, I had the Casio in the 80's, I remember the canned beat and pretty much everyone decided it was crap and unusable ... but what else did you have? It was a virtual drummer ... I shoulda been way more happy about it. Still when I heard "Bedroom Dancing" I was one of those people that said, as soon as I heard it, "That's the old Casio beat." the same one we thought was worthless ... and they made it work. So, really creative and great, but partly because it reminds me of my childhood, but is newer.

[posty 2,314]

Threads read a lot easier with Giants Fan on ignore...

[jerryskids 5,394]

So... this God alias is GF? Bummer, I thought it had potential.

[Giants Fan 85]

Also I should mention ... I regularly masturbate to the lead singers pony tail while I am in the shower. Brunettes in ponytails ... I never said I wasn't a sucker for them.

[Giants Fan 85]

So... this God alias is GF? Bummer, I thought it had potential.

God? HAH!

 

Yeah .... I dunno who that is.

[Giants Fan 85]

Is that OK God though? Brunettes in pony tails? Yeah know ... over 18?

[Cruzer 1,993]

So... this God alias is GF? Bummer, I thought it had potential.

It's actually one of his best ones.

[Giants Fan 85]

Swear to God ... not an alias of mine. Funny though ... every new guy is an alias of me. I prolly get credit for saying a lotta stuff I never said.

[The One True God 0]

Is that OK God though? Brunettes in pony tails? Yeah know ... over 18?

 

Are you kidding? I let that Mohammed focker stick it in a 9 year old. Have at it, bro.

[MDC 5,962]

Any employee who uses profanity with a customer deserves to get fired.