After intense government crackdowns, two white American men are stuck in the Gobi desert, trying to escape from the Chinese Communist Party, and sneat their way into Mongolia (which quietly, under the radar has super-hot chicks as I've mentioned previously http://www.caak.mn/c/mn-girls/ (SFW) ), wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Volty says...:
"Hey Titans, do you smell what I smell. It's bacon, I think."
"Yeah, Volty, it sure smells like bacon."
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Titans, Titans, we're saved. It's a bacon tree!"
"Volty, maybe it's a mirage? We are in the desert, don't forget."
"Titans, since when did you ever hear of a mirage that smell like bacon... it's no mirage, it's a bacon tree."
And with that, Volty staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Titans crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Volty drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Titans with his dying breath:
"Titans ... go back man, you were right, it's not a bacon tree!"
"Volty, Volty my friend... what is it?"
"Titans... it's not a bacon tree ... It's
It's
It's
It's
It's a ham bush...!"