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How are they gonna have a Little Mermaid who can't swim?

My friends invited this guy and his wife to their Memorial Day cookout. They were renting the place next door for the weekend. He showed up in red plaid shorts, a tucked-in red polo, red tennis shoes and a matching red belt. He might as well have showed up wearing a sign that said "I'm a doosh" I was milling around when I overheard him talking about how he can't stand the slow pace of our little town and how he's used to the fast pace of big city life. Most of us wouldn't last a week in Chicago. Our town only has one focking stop light. He only comes out here because his wife drags him. On and on. At one point, he looked at his beer and asked the host, "Jeez, don't you have anything stronger? I'm definitely gonna need something more than this." As I mingled, every conversation involved other guests telling me what an ass this guy was. When I came out of the bathroom a little later, his wife was talking to mine. My wife motioned me over, then introduced me to Janet. She was nice enough. We talked about Chicago neighborhoods, how they've changed, etc. Then, out of no where, dooshy walked up and stood next to her. Now I'm forced to deal with him. His wife said. "This is my husband Doug." He reached out to shake my hand and said, "Doug. Doug MacDougal". I instantly said, "Really?" He looked at me sideways and said, "What do you mean, REALLY?" So I said, "Why is Doug pronounced dug, but MacDougal is pronounced MacDoogal? Shouldn't your name be Dug MacDugal or maybe Doog MacDoogal?" His wife, and others snickered a little and he turned as red as his outfit.. Then he stood up tall and said, MacDougal is a Scottish name, and spouted off some rubbish about his heritage, coat of arms, etc. I pretended to listen to him and when he finished, I said. "Yeah, that's great, but it still doesn't answer my question. So he said, "Yeah, well what's YOUR name then? I told him. He had nothing, so I said. "Let me guess. Those shorts are the official MacDougl tartan plaid. The same cloth worn by your ancestors when they fought and defeated some Vikings or Anglos, ? Right? He was ready to throw a punch, so his wife grabbed his arm and led him away and back to their rental. I can doosh it out with anyone.

"have our board back", "stop feeding the troll"???? What board, the one that has been ruined for years by the same old ass clowns - going round and round and round and round.......day and night over the same political shiit? That board? The board where the same fixated clowns ruin damn near every thread bcoz the can't help themselves from making it about politics - that board? Deep down the ass clowns are happy, make that ecstatic, to have Newbs back They've missed him like a prisoner misses poosay - hell they're prolly still beating off to him at night when they go home... They're obsessed with him, they can't stay away. They're not feeding him anything - what their feeding is their own pathetic appetite to feel superior. to just focking argue all day.

Your heads in the way

It’s possible they gave a writer the rundown of the movie and described Ariel as a GINGER and that writer happened to be dyslexic.

Newbie calls them appetizers

Pete Buttgig followed this up by stating if he is elected everyone gets AIDS

Well, on the bright side, you clearly didn't lose your typing mittens.

Because he has 2020.

This. Besides Keith Urban, how many butch lesbians can Australia have, anyway?

Was it yours?

wait til you have to worry about those 4 inch d1cks coming after her

So is Eli.

"There was a little girl that sucked and focked her way to the top, and that little girl was me."

Your truth makes my head hurt.

Same reason why some of the women with big bellies call me ahole when I ask when they're due.

<unzips fly> Describe it in detail. Go slow. Make it sexy.

Looks like I'm getting sloppy seconds today.

Shoulda went with Help Wanted - Must Be Able To Swim

Why do SJWs hate dentists? They want to make teeth straight and white.

From now on when a libtard brings up slavery just say some people did something.

Always wondered why she wanted me outta there by 11:30