Here's one of the most twisted jokes I ever heard.
Johnny is a sophomore in high school. He's always been reserved/shy & rarely smiles.
One day he comes home from school grinning/smiling ear to ear. His mother, who’s in the kitchen preparing dinner, immediately notices.
So nice to see you smiling Johnny, what's the good news ? I don't know if I should tell you Mom ?
Go ahead Johnny, I'm dying to know.
Well mom, I had sex with my English teacher today!
The mother is so shocked she has to hold onto the counter with both hands to steady herself.
When the wave of shock dissipates, she starts yelling at the top of her lungs, this is wrong Johnny, you're only a sophomore in high school
how could you let this happen ? How could your teacher let this happen ?
Get up to your room right now! Just wait till your father gets home!
About an hour later, Johnny hears his dad's car pull into the driveway.
A couple minutes later he hears his mother yelling like she did earlier. Surprisingly, his father isn't yelling ?
Five minutes later, as he hears his father's footsteps on the stairs, he literally starts to tremble.
The door swings open & his father says….I heard you had an interesting day at school Johnny……..
Johnny starts to apologize saying I didn't know it was wrong Dad, I'm so sorry.
His father moves in closer, & suddenly his stern face relaxes into a huge smile.
Give me a high 5 Johnny, you become a man today, & with your English teacher no less!
All the tension & fear oozes out of Johnny in an instant. Oh Dad, I'm so glad you approve. I thought you were going to kill me!
You have nothing to worry about Johnny, we’ll get through this.
As a matter of fact son, after dinner, I'm going to take you over to Walmart & buy you that mountain bike you’ve wanted for over a year now.
That's great dad, & I really appreciate it, but could I get the Tom Brady autographed football instead, my ass is killing me!