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Marital Finances


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#81 KSB2424

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 07:14 PM

People are WAY TOO SERIOUS Here.  I read that and knew it was a troll from the first pass.  I like how you followed it up later with another log on the fire.  Sometimes its too easy.

Skids was 100% serious.

When called out for having poor logic he resorted to "just trolling"

Then doubled down in the very same post. This happens daily here.

We're just not used to Jerry typing such nonsense. Everybody has a bad thread from time to time I suppose. We'll give him a mulligan on this one.
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#82 MTSkiBum

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 07:23 PM

 

Do you each have 7 CCs tied to your separate accounts?   :o

 

 

The 7 credit cards is combined. All of our credit cards are joint and in reality we only use 3 of them and 90% of the purchases goes on a single shared card.

 

Our savings account is joint as well.

 

The only thing that is separate is our checking accounts. It is a pain to go joint because that means contacting HR and changing the direct deposit. We both work for large corporations with a worthless HR department. Until one of us changes jobs or my wife quits working we will continue to have separate checking accounts.


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#83 tanatastic

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 07:29 PM

People are WAY TOO SERIOUS Here.  I read that and knew it was a troll from the first pass.  I like how you followed it up later with another log on the fire.  Sometimes its too easy.


Haha he was serious and there was zero troll. Then he got torn apart by people living modern lives who don't feel bound to obligations and social pressures they learned from sitcoms and movies.

I can't think of anyone better to run the country than a reality TV, business mogul blowhard. Apparently, neither could the democrats.


#84 supermike80

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 08:42 PM

Haha he was serious and there was zero troll. Then he got torn apart by people living modern lives who don't feel bound to obligations and social pressures they learned from sitcoms and movies.


Still doing it.

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#85 Brad GLuckman

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 10:19 PM

 Look at penny:  two docs, no kids, separate accounts.  If one of them said tomorrow "hey hon, I'm done with this marriage okay bye$#@!", they would literally have nothing keeping them together, and could do it in the snap of a finger.  :dunno:


I think thats a good thing. They should be together because they love each other and want to spend their lives together...not because its a pain the a$$ financially to get a divorce.

#86 Patriotsfatboy1

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 10:30 PM

 
 
 Look at penny:  two docs, no kids, separate accounts.  If one of them said tomorrow "hey hon, I'm done with this marriage okay bye$#@!", they would literally have nothing keeping them together, and could do it in the snap of a finger.  :dunno:


In many states, it won't matter if you have separate accounts. They take a look at all assets (checking, savings, real estate, retirement, etc.) and divide them up.

For example, if you have $50k in your account and she has $2k, then you are both getting $26k in cash.
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#87 jerryskids

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 11:21 PM

Skids was 100% serious.

When called out for having poor logic he resorted to "just trolling"

Then doubled down in the very same post. This happens daily here.

We're just not used to Jerry typing such nonsense. Everybody has a bad thread from time to time I suppose. We'll give him a mulligan on this one.

 

Umm... I was 80% serious.  My initial post was intentionally worded with a troll factor, and it was more successful than I thought it would be.  But that being said, at the end of the day, I basically generalize that couples with individual accounts aren't as ready to truly commit.  That being said, I recognize that there are many reasons why having multiple accounts makes sense.  But that doesn't make for interesting chat room discussion, hence my troll-ish responses.  HTH.  :cheers:


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#88 penultimatestraw

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 11:23 PM

One joint checking, and one joint savings.
 
I don't understand how two people can commit a lifetime to each other, but be selfish with their money. It does not compute.

i can't speak for others, but my wife and I aren't selfish with our $. We're lucky that it isn't an issue - we've never argued about finances and just pay stuff when it's due.

It's kinda like splitting the check at a restaurant with your buddies. Some people want separate checks, others divide the bill evenly by the number of people, and others just pay the entire bill, with the implicit understanding that everyone will eventually take their turn. None is a more valid strategy than the others, but individuals choose whichever works best for their group.

#89 jerryskids

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 11:28 PM

I think thats a good thing. They should be together because they love each other and want to spend their lives together...not because its a pain the a$$ financially to get a divorce.

 

Wrong.  They should be together because they are married and in doing so they committed to a union.  In the absence of abuse, fock love.  You need to work on a marriage every day.  :thumbsup:


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#90 penultimatestraw

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 11:28 PM

Most of us, not being childless doctors, are not so loaded that we can afford to not have a handle on half the marital assets and to pay bills according to the honor system. :dunno:

Honor system? WTF? You're both adults and know the bills must be paid, and should trust one another to do the right thing.

You can still track expenses. It isn't difficult at all.

#91 penultimatestraw

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 11:30 PM

Looks like I struck a nerve with the people who haven't found an SO they can trust. :dunno:
Also it seems like the tech/engineers here (PFB, Thornton, parrot, myself) all have joint accounts. I think there is a correlation with efficient systems design. :thumbsup:

Or you guys are just more anal with you finances?

#92 penultimatestraw

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 11:31 PM

Actually parrot is an accountant.  
 
As is Bert and I work in Finance.
 
Either way the point is that no family dynamic is exactly alike.  Some things work better for others for a variety of reasons, least of which has to do with "trusting your SO" :sleep: .  
 
Therefore brushing with such a broad stroke like you did  and trying to connect dots that aren't there was, yeah, dumb.  As accurately pointed out, having separate checking accounts actually requires more trust it can be easily argued.  But that's neither here nor there.
 
Nobody said having a joint "everything" account was wrong.  The point is there really isn't a wrong answer.
 
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#93 penultimatestraw

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 11:38 PM

Do you each have 7 CCs tied to your separate accounts?  :o
 

 
Well, that post was mostly trolling, because my initial post seemed to strike a nerve and it was too easy to troll.  :D
 
Seriously though, IMO a marriage is a union above all else.  If you keep the finances separate you are saying that to some degree, you don't want to unify things.  I've got mine and she's got hers.  But, what happens if there is a financial emergency?  What is the retirement plan? A couple of kids later you've got a whole lot more expenses, which accounts pay for what?  One of you is paying thousands for the little princess's dance classes, no resentment?  I just don't see how anyone can justify the separate accounts other than they want a quick getaway.  Look at penny:  two docs, no kids, separate accounts.  If one of them said tomorrow "hey hon, I'm done with this marriage okay bye$#@!", they would literally have nothing keeping them together, and could do it in the snap of a finger.  :dunno:

It would be interesting to see if the divorce rate is higher in those with separate versus joint accounts. I suspect it doesn't matter.

In a financial emergency we pool our resources, just like you. The number of accounts has no bearing on our commitment to one another. As MDC said, it probably is more reflective of our financial situation, where we aren't sweating the details of our budget/spending habits.

#94 jerryskids

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Posted 16 February 2017 - 11:48 PM

It would be interesting to see if the divorce rate is higher in those with separate versus joint accounts. I suspect it doesn't matter.

In a financial emergency we pool our resources, just like you. The number of accounts has no bearing on our commitment to one another. As MDC said, it probably is more reflective of our financial situation, where we aren't sweating the details of our budget/spending habits.

 

It would be interesting to see that data.  I suspect you are wrong.  If not I'll do a mea culpa.  :cheers:

 

Yeah sure you would pool your resources in an emergency, but the two-doctor no-kid demographic isn't the norm I was referring to.  


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#95 vuduchile

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Posted 17 February 2017 - 02:46 AM

Separate accounts will not make getting out of a marriage any easier. That's just silly. All assets, whether held jointly and separately, will be examined by the courts in a divorce case.

As I said before, my wife and I keep separate checking accounts at different institutions. But we are both authorized to access the others' account.

We don't really spend much money on ourselves since we have kids, so it isn't about not having to ask permission. We lived together for awhile before marriage and had a system for who paid what. It worked fine back then so we just added a joint savings/investment and custodial accounts when we married and had kids.

My checking account is used to pay ALL the monthly bills, home repairs and improvements, and travel/vacations. It also contains our emergency fund plus a few bucks walking around money.

Anything in excess of that at the end of the month goes into joint savings or investment funds.

Her checking account is used to pay all miscellaneous expenses. Groceries, gas, clothing, etc. plus some walking around money. The rest goes into joint savings or retirement accounts.

It's quite simple really, and I don't see any reason to change it.

#96 Brad GLuckman

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Posted 17 February 2017 - 06:56 AM

 
Wrong.  They should be together because they are married and in doing so they committed to a union.  In the absence of abuse, fock love.  You need to work on a marriage every day.  :thumbsup:


You're trolling again

#97 Brad GLuckman

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Posted 17 February 2017 - 06:59 AM

It would be interesting to see if the divorce rate is higher in those with separate versus joint accounts. I suspect it doesn't matter.

In a financial emergency we pool our resources, just like you. The number of accounts has no bearing on our commitment to one another. As MDC said, it probably is more reflective of our financial situation, where we aren't sweating the details of our budget/spending habits.


I would be curious to know if age when married correlates to having a joint or separate account. My guess would be that people who married in their 30s are more likely to have separate accounts than people who got married when they were in their early 20s.

#98 MDC

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Posted 17 February 2017 - 07:47 AM

Honor system? WTF? You're both adults and know the bills must be paid, and should trust one another to do the right thing.

You can still track expenses. It isn't difficult at all.


I wouldn't open up two separate checking account of my own to pay one set of expenses. Why would my wife and I do this?

Again this is a luxury of having no kids and therefore having fewer expenses and shared finances than families that do have kids. I used to do this separate account thing the last time I had a live in girlfriend in my 20s.
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#99 Brad GLuckman

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Posted 17 February 2017 - 08:44 AM

I used to do this separate account thing the last time I had a live in girlfriend in my 20s.

That's how it started with me and my wife. Once we got married and had kids, we figured out our common monthly bills /expenses and set up direct deposit at work to deposit that amount every month to the joint account. The remainder goes to our separate accounts.

It works for us. There's no right or wrong way.

#100 penultimatestraw

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Posted 17 February 2017 - 10:14 AM

I wouldn't open up two separate checking account of my own to pay one set of expenses. Why would my wife and I do this?
Again this is a luxury of having no kids and therefore having fewer expenses and shared finances than families that do have kids. I used to do this separate account thing the last time I had a live in girlfriend in my 20s.

I think it is more a luxury of not running a tight budget. Both accounts have the funds to pay all the bills, so we don't stress about who is paying for what. In theory, every marital expense is shared anyway, because all you assets are pooled in the context of being a family. Although I don't do so because her account is managed electronically, I would have no problem paying my wife's cc bill, for example. Her money = my money = our money.

And I'm not suggesting you open up new separate accounts. That is just as silly as us opening a new joint account when we aren't having money issues. Neither of us is complaining about the others spending habits, nor are we hiding $. I know exactly how much my wife earns; we work the same job and file our taxes together. She isn't spending money on drugs or another man behind my back, and doesn't have to ask permission to buy stuff. I trust her implicitly because she is my wife.

#101 vuduchile

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Posted 17 February 2017 - 01:34 PM

She isn't spending money on drugs or another man behind my back I trust her implicitly because she is my wife.


Are you sure about that?

#102 penultimatestraw

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Posted 17 February 2017 - 02:07 PM

Are you sure about that?

You interested?

#103 DankNuggs

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Posted 17 February 2017 - 02:12 PM

I would describe my martial finances as I make it, she spends it.


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#104 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 17 February 2017 - 10:20 PM

 
Umm, yeah.  I can't believe how many of you have separate accounts.  If you have them, then you haven't found the right SO.  Just saying.  :unsure:


I think it's a function of people getting married later in life than in prior generations.

Back in the day, you got hitched in your late teens early twenties. It made sense to combine everything, as you were just starting out and learning how to do it anyway.

Now, people are often in their thirties when they marry. They are used to managing their own stuff and buying what they want when they feel like it.

I favor having a joint account. The parties discuss how much each should contribute to cover the standard monthly nut, plus incidental expenses.

The rest stays separate.

This assumes both spouses make roughly the same though.

I had a friend that had a joint account only. He made a large withdrawal to buy his wife a surprise for her birthday or something. Expensive jewelry or some such. She freaked and was considering hiring private investigator and attorney. Ridiculous.

#105 Filthy Fernadez

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Posted 20 February 2017 - 12:52 AM

Been one account since we got married. No need for any secret stash

 

Agreed. Go all in IMO. One pot; pay the bills first then decide where the rest goes together.


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#106 Hardcore troubadour

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Posted 20 February 2017 - 12:58 AM

My wife and I have separate bathrooms. Are we doomed?

#107 Filthy Fernadez

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Posted 20 February 2017 - 01:50 AM

My wife and I have separate bathrooms. Are we doomed?

 

It's okay to have your sh!t separated. 


BBC for the most part is pretty damn good.