Suggest a Constitutional Amendment

[Red White and Blue 81]

Since Congress is no longer interested in Iraq, gas prices, the budget deficit, etc. I figure we can help them out by suggesting some new DOA constitutional amendments they can tout. No need for any of these suggestions to be helpful - we're mostly looking for amendments that would create opportunities to grandstand and wedge issues for embattled incumbents to campaign on this fall.

 

I propose a constitutional amendment to ban any language other than English at Geno's.

[edjr 7,039]

Funniest part of Geno's, Geno himself can hardly speak English and the English he does spew out is laughable.

[Voltaire 5,530]

Congress shall never pass legislation taxing oxygen intake.

[Toro 3]

Amendment Apologizing to Black People for Slavery

[phillybear 366]

The View and Oprah will be taken off the air, reruns are banned, and all episodes will be burned.

 

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will not be allowed to enter the U.S. ever again.

 

During a book tour of the U.S., JK Rowling will be arrested, tied up, and boiled to death in a cauldron.

 

Michael Moore will be forced at gun point to have gastric bypass surgery.

 

There may be more...

[paulinstl 296]

Minimum IQ and tooth count to be allowed to vote.

[SUXBNME 1,629]

Amendment giving Texas back to Mexico

[Cdub100 3,996]

Abolish political parties

[Franknbeans 46]

Abolish political parties

I like the cut of your jib

[blue98 0]

A Ban on all GiantsFan posts

[Gephardt69 0]

a good start is to have an amendment banning some scary- sounding threat that's never going to take place... for example, propose an amendment preventing congress from abolishing the civil right act. then you can make it sound like your opponent wants to abolish civil rights. works like a charm!

[davebg 0]

I would like to see a Constitutional ammendment forcing crapper busting fattys everywhere to have to purchase two tickets for any form of mass transit that they take. That way, when they take up two seats that second seat will belong to them, as opposed to them trying to fit a 300lb ass into a 180lb seat.

[Jeremy 0]

No fat chicks

[ZeroTolerance 584]

The President shall not sign each bill with the words "but I can ignore this and you can't override that! nah-nah na nah nah".

[Toro 3]

All women must give head to one guy at least once a day.

[biscuitman357 0]

1) Return of 'fault' based divorce. If you cheat or obtain a criminal record/DUI or are shown to be abusive, and this can be proven without a reasonable doubt, you will receive no alimony, no child support, you will not receive the family home and you will lose custody of your children. This would drastically reduce the number of divorces in America and force those who are not married yet to heavily consider the option more carefully.

 

2) Prenuptial agreements become mandatory and binding in all marriages for both parties. Every marriage will have a year 'trial' period. Where you may marry someone but if you divorce within a year, you are not legally liable under the normal terms of divorce, you can walk away free and clear as long as you did not have children. The concept of palimony would be abolished. Again, this would reduce the number of divorces and fatherless children in America. It would also reduce the bulk of the divorce 'for profit' industry.

 

3) All registered sex offenders will be castrated on their second offense, executed on their third.

 

4) Illegal possession of drugs would be a capital offense no appeal. Executions held withhin one week of trial. Those caught in heavy trafficking of drugs in the US would be subject to medical experimentation for the purposes of furthering medical research. This would almost completely eliminate the drug problem in America

 

5) Complete repeal of all affirmative action standards based on gender, sexual preference, religious affliation and race. ( I.E. no more free passes as double standards for homosexuals, women, Jews and blacks in the workplace or in education)

 

6) Public school teachers can be fired at will, despite tenure. Public school administrators will be fired automatically, triggered by minimum test score ceilings not hit yearly. DMV employees will all wear T shirts with numbers of them, the ones garnering the most complaints during a given month will be fired.

 

7) The government will extend high school to giving free two years of mandatory junior college education, in exchange, at that same two year interval, all young men and women between 18-20 will be forced into compulsory civil service. You go to the military or you work as a volunteer in another industry. This would bring some freaking discipline to young kids and they will get at least two years of education that would include life skills, money management, real estate management, classes on how to raise children in place of other BS electives.

 

8) All corporate heads in the private sector would be held to higher legal standards. I.E. the Enron execs would all be executed. If you cheat X number of people out of Y number of dollars, you will die for it. This would make it so people can still be greedy, but no so greedy that they burden the taxpayers as greatly.

 

9)Mass Outsourcing would become illegal.

 

10) To have a child, two parents must attend a series of classes and undergo a one year waiting period plus receive a license to have that child. This would reduce the number of unprepared hit and run young stupid parents. Men or Women who have at least one child on public assistance whom they cannot support, on the notice of their second illegal preganancy would have their tubes tied or have a forced vasectomy. If you can't pay for them, you get one shot to straighten it out, if you don't, you can't have them anymore. Any children who cannot be taken care of financially by their parents would be sent to various islands where they would become wards of the state, being trained as soldiers, scientists or whatever profession or industry the government and society has in need. (Shortage of nurses now in US, island would train more nurses) In exchange for being raised by the state, the now grown up kid must give four years of free compulsory civil service to the US government along with room/board. If we train you to be a doctor, you go be a doctor for four years in an area of the US with need.

[Greedo 13]

1) Campaigning or spending for political office would be illegal. Those running would appear at no cost, and with no advertising, for debates on major non-cable networks - that is their only opportunity to campaign. During debates, candidates can say "I call bullsh--", and the claim must be backed up with facts.

 

2) The government may not increase spending unless they increase taxes proportionally.