10 things I try to find out from guys on a 1st date

[itsjjw 0]

1 ) Last serious relationship and its length.

 

It tells you a lot about them and their attitude towards that person is very telling.

 

2 ) Religious beliefs, in general.

 

Not to debate about, but to get a feel for their overall character and if it can co-exist with my beliefs.

 

3 ) Feelings about having children.

 

Talking about my nephews is a good indication on his feelings towards children.

 

4 ) Occupation and work history.

 

Does he have potential or not?

 

5 ) When was the last time that he spoke with or visited his mother.

 

Shows proper respect. Its important for a man to have a good relationship with his mother.

 

6 ) In what state would he like to retire in.

 

Inside info on his goals long-term. Lets him talk about his dreams and desires.

 

7 ) Favorite pet as a child.

 

Dog lover? or cat lover? or no heart? or total freak?

 

8 ) Women working versus motherhood

 

Asking if both of his parents worked leads him into revealing this opinion.

 

9 ) What should I order for dinner?

 

Is he going to lead or defer? Its a fine line for him to walk. I like to see how guys handle it.

 

10 ) If you were an animal what animal would you be and name three reasons why?

 

Greatest psych question ever invented.

[hoytdwow 202]

11) Does he give rimlicks?

Shows if he can be comfortable with my bitter used up body

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I thought that you had a list that looked more like this?

 

1. What is his net worth?

2. Does he have any friends in the jewelry business?

3. Does he mind you boning other guys?

4. What is his net worth?

5. How does he feel about being manipulated?

6. How does he like materialistic women?

7. What is his net worth?

8. Does he have a large inheritance coming and are his parents close to death?

9. Does he like taking it in the butt?

10. What is his net worth?

[DaWeffa 0]

that would be our last date

[davebg 0]

Aaaaand, that's why you are still single.

 

A first date is a chance to see if you two enjoy one another's company, not a structured interview to determine whether you want to spend the rest of your life w/the guy. Women like you are the reason men sneak out the bathroom window before dessert.

[itsjjw 0]

Aaaaand, that's why you are still single.

 

A first date is a chance to see if you two enjoy one another's company, not a structured interview to determine whether you want to spend the rest of your life w/the guy. Women like you are the reason men sneak out the bathroom window before dessert.

 

I have plenty of friends to enjoy company with. If I want sex, there is no problem there either. Like it or not a date is a job interview, just a very tactful one.

 

They are perfectly normal questions that can be slipped into any conversation.

[edjr 6,580]

Is this an interview or can you suck my d!ck already?

[itsjjw 0]

I thought that you had a list that looked more like this?

 

1. What is his net worth?

2. Does he have any friends in the jewelry business?

3. Does he mind you boning other guys?

4. What is his net worth?

5. How does he feel about being manipulated?

6. How does he like materialistic women?

7. What is his net worth?

8. Does he have a large inheritance coming and are his parents close to death?

9. Does he like taking it in the butt?

10. What is his net worth?

Too hard to find out on a 1st date.

[davebg 0]

I have plenty of friends to enjoy company with. If I want sex, there is no problem there either. Like it or not a date is a job interview, just a very tactful one.

And I'm telling you that by approaching a first date like this you will scare off 99.9% of the men you go out with.

 

ETA: Trust me, there is nothing "tactful" about you approaching a 1st date like that.

[itsjjw 0]

And I'm telling you that by approaching a first date like this you will scare off 99.9% of the men you go out with.

 

ETA: Trust me, there is nothing "tactful" about you approaching a 1st date like that.

How could a person be offended by asking what their favorite childhood pet was?

 

Mine was my dog 'Dakota'.

[edjr 6,580]

How could a person be offended by asking what their favorite childhood pet was?

 

Mine was my dog 'Dakota'.

 

do you know when Dakota died your parents sold him to the local chinese buffet restaurant?

[Mungwater 597]

too interviewy, prefer something a little more fun..

 

"Tell me about your last relationship..."

 

Hey, I just ordered a drink, I'd hate the thought of having to leave it here so I can get away from you..

[TheNewGirl 1,489]

For some reason, i think that davebg is sitting there thinking that you whip out your list of questions and just bam bam bam all at once.

 

i think getting these questions into the conversation is a great idea!!! If you're at dinner, looking at the menu and saying, "Hmm...what should I order?" that's easy.

 

Eating dinner and having a great conversation and saying, "So, did you ahve any pets growing up?" this can EASILY be placed into the conversation, especially if you're both all ready talking about pets.

 

Some of the others though, like retirement and job goals, those might be a little more difficult to get in there, but you can do so without it sounding like an interview.

 

One of the most memorable dates my husband and I had, we were out to dinner with another couple, and for some reason, the topic was about living together before marriage. We weren't even living together, didn't even talk about it, and he says, "I totally need to live with someone before I marry them, what do you think?" He was able to find out some pretty key info about me, and I about him. We talked about it a bit more at dinner, then moved on. Didn't bring it up again until our relationship was ready.

So, there is a way to find these things out.

[davebg 0]

How could a person be offended by asking what their favorite childhood pet was?

 

Mine was my dog 'Dakota'.

All of the stuff that you mentioned makes you come off like one of those desperate, pathetic women whose sole goal in life is to be married and consider themselves a complete failure if not at least engaged by the age of 30.

 

It is a particularly pungent form of desperation that has a "turn off" effect on men that is equivalent to you hiking up your skirt, only to reveal that you are really a man by whipping your cawk out on the table in between courses.

 

I am not saying this to be mean. I am trying to tell you how your Guantanamo-esque interrogation plays out in the minds of guys.

 

When you go out w/someone on a first date, lighten up. Just see if you enjoy one another's company before you get him fitted for a tux for your impending nuptuals.

[Jessy 0]

1 ) Last serious relationship and its length.

 

It tells you a lot about them and their attitude towards that person is very telling.

 

2 ) Religious beliefs, in general.

 

Not to debate about, but to get a feel for their overall character and if it can co-exist with my beliefs.

 

3 ) Feelings about having children.

 

Talking about my nephews is a good indication on his feelings towards children.

 

4 ) Occupation and work history.

 

Does he have potential or not?

 

5 ) When was the last time that he spoke with or visited his mother.

 

Shows proper respect. Its important for a man to have a good relationship with his mother.

 

6 ) In what state would he like to retire in.

 

Inside info on his goals long-term. Lets him talk about his dreams and desires.

 

7 ) Favorite pet as a child.

 

Dog lover? or cat lover? or no heart? or total freak?

 

8 ) Women working versus motherhood

 

Asking if both of his parents worked leads him into revealing this opinion.

 

9 ) What should I order for dinner?

 

Is he going to lead or defer? Its a fine line for him to walk. I like to see how guys handle it.

 

10 ) If you were an animal what animal would you be and name three reasons why?

 

Greatest psych question ever invented.

 

Jeebus H. Christ.

 

On the FIRST date? I wouldn't go out on a second date after being asked most of those questions.

[davebg 0]

One of the most memorable dates my husband and I had, we were out to dinner with another couple, and for some reason, the topic was about living together before marriage. We weren't even living together, didn't even talk about it, and he says, "I totally need to live with someone before I marry them, what do you think?" He was able to find out some pretty key info about me, and I about him. We talked about it a bit more at dinner, then moved on. Didn't bring it up again until our relationship was ready.

So, there is a way to find these things out.

Was that your first date together? I doubt it.

 

I'm not saying that these are unreasonable things to ask or want to know, but to have a list of 10 such things that a girl tries to get answered on the first date is why so many men think chicks are focking

 

Try getting through a round of drinks or a single meal before you plan the rest of your lives together.

 

That's all I'm saying.

[DaWeffa 0]

Like it or not a date is a job interview, just a very tactful one.

 

They are perfectly normal questions that can be slipped into any conversation.

 

 

ohhhh i get it you are talking about a "date"....

 

in that case i am not too sure what corner edjr works but i am sure he would be willing to accept your money.....

 

PS a first date is just that.... a first date, you should be having fun to see if you want to ask these questions at a LATER date.....

[itsjjw 0]

All of the stuff that you mentioned makes you come off like one of those desperate, pathetic women whose sole goal in life is to be married and consider themselves a complete failure if not at least engaged by the age of 30.

 

It is a particularly pungent form of desperation that has a "turn off" effect on men that is equivalent to you hiking up your skirt, only to reveal that you are really a man by whipping your cawk out on the table in between courses.

 

I am not saying this to be mean. I am trying to tell you how your Guantanamo-esque interrogation plays out in the minds of guys.

 

When you go out w/someone on a first date, lighten up. Just see if you enjoy one another's company before you get him fitted for a tux for your impending nuptuals.

Its not like its speed dating and you just start questioning people. As TNG says, these are questions to ease into over the course of two or three hours of chatting. I need to get you off guard and be relaxed before the interview starts.

 

Take the ordering question, I am going to ask you what you are having before I'd even think about ordering anyway. Its the right thing for a woman to do. You have no idea of what the guy's budget is, so you never order anything more expensive than he orders. So what harm is there in asking him 'What do you think I should order'?

[edjr 6,580]

Jeebus H. Christ.

 

On the FIRST date? I wouldn't go out on a second date after being asked most of those questions.

 

 

Good.

 

I'm not really looking for a second date.

[davebg 0]

Its not like its speed dating and you just start questioning people. As TNG says, these are questions to ease into over the course of two or three hours of chatting. I need to get you off guard and be relaxed before the interview starts.

 

Take the ordering question, I am going to ask you what you are having before I'd even think about ordering anyway. Its the right thing for a woman to do. You have no idea of what the guy's budget is, so you never order anything more expensive than he orders. So what harm is there in asking him 'What do you think I should order'?

Yeah...and I bet you can just as easily sneak in those questions about children, religion, living together, retirement and committment too, right? On the first date no less.

[Brown Eyed Girl 1]

Jeebus H. Christ.

 

On the FIRST date? I wouldn't go out on a second date after being asked most of those questions.

 

I agree.

[itsjjw 0]

Yeah...and I bet you can just as easily sneak in those questions about children, religion, living together, retirement and committment too, right? On the first date no less.

Were you born in Syracuse? Really? are your parents still here? Are you going to your mom's for Christmas?

 

How on earth is that offensive? Believe me guys love to do nothing more than talk about themselves.

[BMoney 0]

ive been with my gal for 4 years and we never got into the religion thing....

 

you just eventually find out..its like politics..its OK to have a belief or take a side..but if you want to argue about either..your fun night is focked...

 

 

retirement? cripes...im in my 30s...my gals the same age and has travelled the world..id like to say sweden..but really..who the fock knows where u are retiring?...

[Fervid Ro 0]

I agree.

ditto

[Brown Eyed Girl 1]

A first date is a chance to see if you two enjoy one another's company, not a structured interview to determine whether you want to spend the rest of your life w/the guy.

 

This is how I see it too.

[DaWeffa 0]

Were you born in Syracuse? Really? are your parents still here? Are you going to your mom's for Christmas?

 

How on earth is that offensive? Believe me guys love to do nothing more than talk about themselves.

 

not that they are offensive, just too overbearing on a first date....my thoughts would be "dude relax"....guys like to talk about themselves, but not on a first date in ways like that.....ask them what they thought about a movie or a book or a game or something....

[TheNewGirl 1,489]

Was that your first date together? I doubt it.

 

I'm not saying that these are unreasonable things to ask or want to know, but to have a list of 10 such things that a girl tries to get answered on the first date is why so many men think chicks are focking

 

Try getting through a round of drinks or a single meal before you plan the rest of your lives together.

 

That's all I'm saying.

 

 

No, it wasn't our first date.

 

To be totally honest, the night that we met was in a bar. There were some friends visiting from LA, and THEY asked him many questions. Some of those were, "If she gives you her number, are you going to call? How much money do you make? Where do you live? Are you going to be nice to her?" Granted, these were all asked with the air of being in a bar, alcohol being consummed, so some of them were asked "jokingly" but serious at the same time.

 

I am not saying that I would ask those questions, because I do think that a few of them are a bit over the top for a first date. But...you can get them into the conversation if you want to.

 

I had a date with a guy once that all he did was talk about going to the gym, going rock climbing and sky diving, and his Jeep. His questions for me were if I went to the gym, went rock climbing, and if I liked Jeeps. HE didn't get a second date, that's for sure.

[hoytdwow 202]

1 ) Last serious relationship and its length.

 

It tells you a lot about them and their attitude towards that person is very telling.

 

2 ) Religious beliefs, in general.

 

Not to debate about, but to get a feel for their overall character and if it can co-exist with my beliefs.

 

3 ) Feelings about having children.

 

Talking about my nephews is a good indication on his feelings towards children.

 

4 ) Occupation and work history.

 

Does he have potential or not?

 

5 ) When was the last time that he spoke with or visited his mother.

 

Shows proper respect. Its important for a man to have a good relationship with his mother.

 

6 ) In what state would he like to retire in.

 

Inside info on his goals long-term. Lets him talk about his dreams and desires.

 

7 ) Favorite pet as a child.

 

Dog lover? or cat lover? or no heart? or total freak?

 

8 ) Women working versus motherhood

 

Asking if both of his parents worked leads him into revealing this opinion.

 

9 ) What should I order for dinner?

 

Is he going to lead or defer? Its a fine line for him to walk. I like to see how guys handle it.

 

10 ) If you were an animal what animal would you be and name three reasons why?

 

Greatest psych question ever invented.

The fact that you care more about these things than, say, what kind of music he likes, or whether he has a sense of humor, doesn't cast you in a very positive light.

 

itsatip

[Yer mom 2]

Is this an interview or can you suck my d!ck already?

 

 

Edjr...quickly becoming one of my fav posters...

 

itsatipthat: If your even considering structuring questions, its lame. A great date should have a natural chemistry and flow otherwise its almost inevitable that the chances of the relationship working come to a screeching halt sooner than later, unless of course both parties are desperate to make it work or willing to settle for less.....

[itsjjw 0]

ive been with my gal for 4 years and we never got into the religion thing....

 

you just eventually find out..its like politics..its OK to have a belief or take a side..but if you want to argue about either..your fun night is focked...

retirement? cripes...im in my 30s...my gals the same age and has travelled the world..id like to say sweden..but really..who the fock knows where u are retiring?...

Like I said not to debate but to find out. For instance... [dumb blonde] I am so confused about Iraq? [/dumb blonde] and boom there he goes off telling you everything there is to know about Islam and solving the middle east problem. Make him feel like a genious. Why has no one else ever thought of those ideas? From there seque into what religion he was raised, and he'll never even know what hit him.

[DaWeffa 0]

Like I said not to debate but to find out. For instance... [dumb blonde] I am so confused about Iraq? [/dumb blonde] and boom there he goes off telling you everything there is to know about Islam and solving the middle east problem. Make him feel like a genious. Why has no one else ever thought of those ideas? From there seque into what religion he was raised, and he'll never even know what hit him.

 

itsatipthatyoudonttalkaboutreligionoverdinner

[davebg 0]

Were you born in Syracuse? Really? are your parents still here? Are you going to your mom's for Christmas?

 

How on earth is that offensive? Believe me guys love to do nothing more than talk about themselves.

I didn't say I'd be offended...I'm saying I'd be scared off.

 

A first date is just that...a first date. You should be seeing if you two enjoy one another's company...not checking to see if the focking planets align and you two are destined to spend the rest of your lives together.

 

Just as women can smell desperation dripping off of the loser who cruises through the bar looking for a hookup at closing time, we men can easily detect the desolation and hopelessness that emanates from a woman who evaluates whether or not a man is husband material before the first kiss.

 

Even if a man is at that point in their lives where they are not afraid of committment and are looking for a long-term relationship...the one thing that will surely scare him off is sniffing out a woman for whom determining whether or not the guy is "marriage material" before you two even know if you want to go on a second date together.

[itsjjw 0]

itsatipthatyoudonttalkaboutreligionoverdinner

Not talk, help me I am confused about Iraq, seque to one simple question about how he was raised, seque to how is your dinner? No time for any details or for him to ask you the same questions. Just keep him talking and keep it light.

[edjr 6,580]

Edjr...quickly becoming one of my fav posters...

 

itsatipthat: If your even considering structuring questions, its lame. A great date should have a natural chemistry and flow otherwise its almost inevitable that the chances of the relationship working come to a screeching halt sooner than later, unless of course both parties are desperate to make it work or willing to settle for less.....

 

[BMoney 0]

Like I said not to debate but to find out. For instance... [dumb blonde] I am so confused about Iraq? [/dumb blonde] and boom there he goes off telling you everything there is to know about Islam and solving the middle east problem. Make him feel like a genious. Why no one else has ever thought of those ideas. From there seque into what religion he was raised, and he'll never even know what hit him.

 

 

i know where u are going with it and its ok...

 

but i love to joke around and be silly...lighten up..some of us guys are actually a bit shy...you dont want to scare away a guy who is a blast to be around because u made him wonder what happened to his dog Rusty..maybe hes trying to get over how his last job focked him over..dont drag him through that...people can have potential even in their darkest hours...

 

i couldnt tell about Iraq but I could show you a missle...

 

just to show you how they are used etc...

 

seriously though...what if he just lost his brother or best friend in Iraq? sure..he may be spirited and u may admire how intense he is speaking about it...its just a topic i would avoid..someday? sure..if u need to know...

 

but i would stick with asking a guy...

 

when can i take u to a girly movie?...last one u saw?...that one will get an answer and hopefully a laugh..its a lighthearted question...

 

as opposed to...thoughts on the war?..just as u ask, someone drops a tray and he goes diving under the table having flashbacks from being there...

[itsjjw 0]

I didn't say I'd be offended...I'm saying I'd be scared off.

 

A first date is just that...a first date. You should be seeing if you two enjoy one another's company...not checking to see if the focking planets align and you two are destined to spend the rest of your lives together.

 

Just as women can smell desperation dripping off of the loser who cruises through the bar looking for a hookup at closing time, we men can easily detect the desolation and hopelessness that emanates from a woman who evaluates whether or not a man is husband material before the first kiss.

 

Even if a man is at that point in their lives where they are not afraid of committment and are looking for a long-term relationship...the one thing that will surely scare him off is sniffing out a woman for whom determining whether or not the guy is "marriage material" before you two even know if you want to go on a second date together.

 

We just have different philosophies. I have plenty of people that I enjoy their company with already. Why would I waste my time, if I cannot see if there is any chance of a future? There are plenty of other guys to date that don't feel the way you do.

 

 

 

 

i couldnt tell about Iraq but I could show you a missle...

 

just to show you how they are used etc...

 

lmfao

 

 

but i would stick with asking a guy...

 

when can i take u to a girly movie?...last one u saw?...that one will get an answer and hopefully a laugh..its a lighthearted question...

 

as opposed to...thoughts on the war?..just as u ask, someone drops a tray and he goes diving under the table having flashbacks from being there...

 

The last thing I would do is drag a guy to a chick flick. If there is a movie that I want to see, I'd rather go with my roommate.

[RLLD 4,230]

1 ) Last serious relationship and its length.

Is was sorta short, and they haven't found her body, yet

 

2 ) Religious beliefs, in general.

Religion is poison, the opiate of the masses

 

3 ) Feelings about having children.

I love children, I think they are great.

 

4 ) Occupation and work history.

Most of my past jobs involved killing in one way or another, now i am just a Project Manager

 

5 ) When was the last time that he spoke with or visited his mother.

I talked to her last night, she never see's the irony in calling me a son-of-a-b!tch

 

6 ) In what state would he like to retire in.

Semi-Lucid

 

7 ) Favorite pet as a child.

I had two raccoons, which i starved and then threw live rabbits in the cage with them, it was awesome

 

8 ) Women working versus motherhood

I know and empathize that keeping the house clean is hard work, so STFU about it already

 

9 ) What should I order for dinner?

Order? What fock are you going to "order" dinner for

 

10 ) If you were an animal what animal would you be and name three reasons why?

I would be a baboon. 1) I have a fantastically big red arse 2) i like to fock when and where it suits me 3) I like to fling my own sh!t at things

 

 

What do i win?

[Brown Eyed Girl 1]

Why would I waste my time, if I cannot see if there is any chance of a future? There are plenty of other guys to date that don't feel the way you do.

 

Yeah, like the one who wanted to whisk me away to San Francisco to meet his mom after date #1!

 

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

The last thing I would do is drag a guy to a chick flick. If there is a movie that I want to see, I'd rather go with my roommate.

 

This leads me to some of the key questions that a guy would want to find out from you on the first date:

 

1. Will you and your roommate be scissor-kicking on the floor after watching said movie?

2. Is it reasonable to expect some sex if I lie my ass off during your interrogation?

3. What are the odds of me getting you and your roommate at the same time?

4. At what point do we start to incorporate anal into the equation?

[davebg 0]

We just have different philosophies. I have plenty of people that I enjoy their company with already. Why would I waste my time, if I cannot see if there is any chance of a future? There are plenty of other guys to date that don't feel the way you do.

lmfao

The last thing I would do is drag a guy to a chick flick. If there is a movie that I want to see, I'd rather go with my roommate.

As I said in my original post, this is why you are still single.

 

I guaranfockingtee you that you have scared off many good guys (maybe even "The One") by approaching your first dates this way.

 

From a guy's perspective you come off as kinda' shallow...as if you were only interested in getting married, rather than being interested in the guy, as a person.

 

Yeah, like the one who wanted to whisk me away to San Francisco to meet his mom after date #1!

 

Do you still have his number? Maybe we could set him and itsjjw up.