So my wife want's me dead!

[BunnysBastatrds 1,938]

Damn hard to retalliate from dead mans post?! Need some help geeks! A 9MM by the bedside is making me stoopid! I'm a gooner!

[Saint Elistan 106]

Any chance you can make me the benefactor of any life insurance you may have? If not, just choke her in the middle of the night and claim that you did it in your sleep. Worked for this guy.

[naomi 347]

What happened and why is that an option you're imagining going with?

[ens189 1]

http://www.fftodayforums.com/forum/index.p...=337550&hl=

[BunnysBastatrds 1,938]

What happened and why is that an option you're imagining going with?

 

 

She tried to kill me two months ago. It was an "accident", but I stiil bare the scares from it, even today. I fell down on the kitchen floor after she threw water on me. She set the trap and I followed it. A friend of hers told me to be carefull and her own mother said the family didn't think any one would ever marry her. She is loyal but her patience is waning with the health of some in my family. She hates her job but realizes that I am a meal ticket out of her current situation. I may be wrong, but so far, I have been spot on in her decisions concerning the health of our family. That being said, she is bying her time, IMO. I removed all guns from the house and found one last week under her side of the bed. When I asked her about it, she told me it was an unsecessary evil and was glad I found it. I have been scared of many women over the years. But she is scaring the sh!t out of me. I feel as though I am being paranoid about it, but who knows? People are capable of anything.

[Saint Elistan 106]

See I found one of these crazy ladies too. I made the mistake of getting her pregnant, but I pulled out of marriage and live in. She's still killing me financially and depression has set in now that I'm unemployed and fat...but at least I'm alive. Until 2012 at least.

[naomi 347]

She tried to kill me two months ago. It was an "accident", but I stiil bare the scares from it, even today. I fell down on the kitchen floor after she threw water on me. She set the trap and I followed it. A friend of hers told me to be carefull and her own mother said the family didn't think any one would ever marry her. She is loyal but her patience is waning with the health of some in my family. She hates her job but realizes that I am a meal ticket out of her current situation. I may be wrong, but so far, I have been spot on in her decisions concerning the health of our family. That being said, she is bying her time, IMO. I removed all guns from the house and found one last week under her side of the bed. When I asked her about it, she told me it was an unsecessary evil and was glad I found it. I have been scared of many women over the years. But she is scaring the sh!t out of me. I feel as though I am being paranoid about it, but who knows? People are capable of anything.

Whoa. I thought either you were playing around with the OP or just had a bad fight. I saw my parents go through some heavy crap back in the day and both are glad neither hurt each other or themselves. Was going to say something along the lines of no matter how low things feel, there can be better days ahead.

 

How much water did she throw on you? You're saying she threw water with the intent of you falling down?

 

>She is loyal but her patience is waning with the health of some in my family.

 

Not sure what that means.

 

>I may be wrong, but so far, I have been spot on in her decisions concerning the health of our family. That being said, she is bying her time, IMO.

 

Sounds like her hostility towards you (real or perceived) is tied to how the decisions you've been making are going to pan out for the family?

 

Questions aside (although I don't entirely understand your situation) that's just wrong to be legitimately scared of your own wife. If people have really warned you about her, and you don't feel safe with her, you need to extricate yourself from the situation. I am the last person to ever suggest a spouse leave the other, but this is different.

 

If you're being serious.

 

That's pretty messed up and you need to be safe.

[MedStudent 56]

If she wants you dead then chances are she won't just kill you with a gun. That would be a dead giveaway. she may look at trying to hire someone to kill you. So, instead of being scared of the guns in the house, I would instead look at every stranger you see in the street as a potetial assasin. Just take precautions, vary your routine, don't go to work the same route everyday. You might want to look into buying a bullet proof vest.

[VikesFan 1]

She tried to kill me two months ago. It was an "accident", but I stiil bare the scares from it, even today. I fell down on the kitchen floor after she threw water on me. She set the trap and I followed it. A friend of hers told me to be carefull and her own mother said the family didn't think any one would ever marry her. She is loyal but her patience is waning with the health of some in my family. She hates her job but realizes that I am a meal ticket out of her current situation. I may be wrong, but so far, I have been spot on in her decisions concerning the health of our family. That being said, she is bying her time, IMO. I removed all guns from the house and found one last week under her side of the bed. When I asked her about it, she told me it was an unsecessary evil and was glad I found it. I have been scared of many women over the years. But she is scaring the sh!t out of me. I feel as though I am being paranoid about it, but who knows? People are capable of anything.

 

I don't know the situation, but this seems odd.. throwing water on someone constitutes attempting to kill them? I'm pretty sure my mom tossed a glass of water in my face as a teenager b/c she was mad at me for something... I wouldn't constitute that as trying to kill me. Then again, maybe something was lost in the cliff's notes.

 

That said, if you are worried for your life, separate now. It's pretty straight forward. Either that or start carrying a gun on you at all times.

[naomi 347]

That said, if you are worried for your life, separate now. It's pretty straight forward. Either that or start carrying a gun on you at all times.

 

Thinking the same thing, it is really straightforward. On the creepy off chance she really does want him dead, a gun on him at all times wouldn't be enough. Spouses often knock each other off in sly ways like poisoning.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,938]

I don't know the situation, but this seems odd.. throwing water on someone constitutes attempting to kill them? I'm pretty sure my mom tossed a glass of water in my face as a teenager b/c she was mad at me for something... I wouldn't constitute that as trying to kill me. Then again, maybe something was lost in the cliff's notes.

 

That said, if you are worried for your life, separate now. It's pretty straight forward. Either that or start carrying a gun on you at all times.

 

 

I'm convinced it was a trap. She threw water on me eight feet away from where I slipped. She poured water on the floor knowing I would confront her about throwing water on me. I slipped on my first step into the kitchen. Even the EMS were skeptical of our story. I never told them about her throwing water on me. I just told them I slipped. I didn't want to go to the hospital and the miss seemed fine with that. But the contusion was bad. It was right above my left temple and the size of a baseball. One of the EMS ladies said it was the worst she had ever seen and asked if I was taking blood thiners. She said that I would need to sign a release if I wasn't going to the hospital with them and have a doctor perform a catscan. I went and everything checked out. They told me to see my doctor, which I haven't. Eight weeks later and I still have a lump the size of a pecan and she hasn't once suggested I go see one.

 

Every one of my friends and workers said, "She finally got ya. What she hit you with? A frying pan?" And when they say it in front of her, she smiles and looks away with a tinge of guilt. I may be paranoid. But when you're laying on the kitchen floor and can't move or even know where or who you are, it's damn scary sh!t. Oh, one thing I forgot, she didn't call the EMS first. She called her dad. He took one look at me and called 911.

 

I don't know what I am going to do. The holidays are here so I would like to think I'm good till the first of the year as to what I should do. No guns. I hate bullets.

[MedStudent 56]

I'm convinced it was a trap. She threw water on me eight feet away from where I slipped. She poured water on the floor knowing I would confront her about throwing water on me. I slipped on my first step into the kitchen. Even the EMS were skeptical of our story. I never told them about her throwing water on me. I just told them I slipped. I didn't want to go to the hospital and the miss seemed fine with that. But the contusion was bad. It was right above my left temple and the size of a baseball. One of the EMS ladies said it was the worst she had ever seen and asked if I was taking blood thiners. She said that I would need to sign a release if I wasn't going to the hospital with them and have a doctor perform a catscan. I went and everything checked out. They told me to see my doctor, which I haven't. Eight weeks later and I still have a lump the size of a pecan and she hasn't once suggested I go see one.

 

Every one of my friends and workers said, "She finally got ya. What she hit you with? A frying pan?" And when they say it in front of her, she smiles and looks away with a tinge of guilt. I may be paranoid. But when you're laying on the kitchen floor and can't move or even know where or who you are, it's damn scary sh!t. Oh, one thing I forgot, she didn't call the EMS first. She called her dad. He took one look at me and called 911.

 

I don't know what I am going to do. The holidays are here so I would like to think I'm good till the first of the year as to what I should do. No guns. I hate bullets.

 

not sure if there are any tax implications if you die this year as opposed to next. You may want to look into that as you prepare your defense.

[phillybear 365]

Jumping Faggut Mohammad on a pogo stick. Either kill her or move out right away, Phil Hartman.

 

What the mother shitty fock?

[BunnysBastatrds 1,938]

Jumping Faggut Mohammad on a pogo stick. Either kill her or move out right away, Phil Hartman.

 

What the mother shitty fock?

 

 

I can die now knowing pb is on my side!!! Shitty fock is the least of my worries!

How do I kill her pb? Invite her to the Grand Canyon for a candle vigile? And a push and shove contest? I should win, but a crazy woman is in the cards! She's a ######!

[Saint Elistan 106]

I'm tellin' ya...choke a b1tch when she's sleeping. Just tell a lot of people about you having really bad sleep walking problems and nightmares for a few weeks before you do it.

 

Or make a icicle stake in the freezer and stab her with it. Let it melt or have it freeze shipped to PB for him to eat it when you're done.

[Voltaire 4,572]

She threw water on you and she has a handgun. Maybe she'll try to slice your neck with Occam's razor.

[WahooJim 4]

Jumping Faggut Mohammad on a pogo stick. Either kill her or move out right away, Phil Hartman.

 

What the mother shitty fock?

 

So phillybear is just an alias for Debra Morgan?

[MedStudent 56]

How do I kill her pb?

 

 

Now this is getting kind of creepy.

 

(AP) Mr. Bunny Bastard is accused of killing his wife with a variety of techniques that were suggested to him on a racist website. Police said the delusional Mr. Bastard claimed his wife had been threatening him with a large glass of water. Mr. Bastard was heard muttering "PhillyBear" as he was lead away in handcuffs.

[phillybear 365]

(AP) Mr. Bunny Bastard is accused of killing his wife with a variety of techniques that were suggested to him on a racist website.

 

Racist website? Are you out of your mind? This is a place where people can discuss issues honestly and create humor about anything and everything. You have to be some kind of sociopath to not recognize that.

 

Racist? You're one dumb motherfocker. You sicken me.

[FrogAssassin 6]

Maybe she was hoping a teaspoon of water would go down his throat and he would drown.

 

That is what my mom always told me.."you can drown from a teaspoon of water"

 

Dude, auto erotica.. mebbe she can do a David Carradine to herself.

[MedStudent 56]

Racist website? Are you out of your mind? This is a place where people can discuss issues honestly and create humor about anything and everything. You have to be some kind of sociopath to not recognize that.

 

Racist? You're one dumb motherfocker. You sicken me.

Dude, you really need to cut down on your salt intake or something and lighten up. what I wrote was a tongue in cheek news article. I don't think this is a racist site although there are probably some racists on here.

 

But what would happen if BB really killed his wife and they found out he posted on here. Some hack journalist would see a couple of posts asking can size and see a thread bashing peenie and automatically label the site racist and sexist.

[Frank M 181]

Maybe the march of our nation to socialism under Obama pushed her over the edge.

 

But really, folks, come on. If Bunny happened to have an "accident", would it really be all that bad?

[JackARoot 2]

If she wants you dead then chances are she won't just kill you with a gun. That would be a dead giveaway. she may look at trying to hire someone to kill you. So, instead of being scared of the guns in the house, I would instead look at every stranger you see in the street as a potetial assasin. Just take precautions, vary your routine, don't go to work the same route everyday. You might want to look into buying a bullet proof vest.

 

I'm not so sure MS. It seems like alot of people get caught because they bring a third party into the situation. She might just try the self-defense/battered wife syndrome angle.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,938]

I'm not so sure MS. It seems like alot of people get caught because they bring a third party into the situation. She might just try the self-defense/battered wife syndrome angle.

 

 

That won't work. I'm a nice guy.

[surferskin 30]

Just remember. No body. No crime.

[phillybear 365]

Dude, you really need to cut down on your salt intake or something and lighten up. what I wrote was a tongue in cheek news article. I don't think this is a racist site although there are probably some racists on here.

 

But what would happen if BB really killed his wife and they found out he posted on here. Some hack journalist would see a couple of posts asking can size and see a thread bashing peenie and automatically label the site racist and sexist.

 

I'm a perpetually angry person.

 

Also, threads that bash peenie typically get deleted by peenie.

 

Besides, Mike might appreciate the publicity and increased traffic. I'd kill to be famous.

[VikesFan 1]

I'm convinced it was a trap. She threw water on me eight feet away from where I slipped. She poured water on the floor knowing I would confront her about throwing water on me. I slipped on my first step into the kitchen. Even the EMS were skeptical of our story. I never told them about her throwing water on me. I just told them I slipped. I didn't want to go to the hospital and the miss seemed fine with that. But the contusion was bad. It was right above my left temple and the size of a baseball. One of the EMS ladies said it was the worst she had ever seen and asked if I was taking blood thiners. She said that I would need to sign a release if I wasn't going to the hospital with them and have a doctor perform a catscan. I went and everything checked out. They told me to see my doctor, which I haven't. Eight weeks later and I still have a lump the size of a pecan and she hasn't once suggested I go see one.

 

Every one of my friends and workers said, "She finally got ya. What she hit you with? A frying pan?" And when they say it in front of her, she smiles and looks away with a tinge of guilt. I may be paranoid. But when you're laying on the kitchen floor and can't move or even know where or who you are, it's damn scary sh!t. Oh, one thing I forgot, she didn't call the EMS first. She called her dad. He took one look at me and called 911.

 

I don't know what I am going to do. The holidays are here so I would like to think I'm good till the first of the year as to what I should do. No guns. I hate bullets.

 

I think you are paranoid, but that's just me.

 

Those kind of things are typically imulsive in nature. We have a family friend who was murdered by her husband. He killed himself later that day. He didn't plan that out more than a day before doing it.

[jerryskids 5,268]

This thread kinda weirds me out. Either you seriously think your wife wants to kill you, or you post a pretend thread about thinking your wife wants to kill you, either way you suck at life. The whole "water on the floor" thing implies the latter, because I find the concept of death by slippery floor hard to swallow.

[Gepetto 994]

BunnyBastatrds,

 

Does she have depression? Or, has she been diagnosed with any psychosis/mental conditions? If so, what? Does she take any medications? What medications is she taking? (if you don't mind sharing)

[Saint Elistan 106]

I find the concept of death by slippery floor hard to swallow.

 

That's about the only thing you find hard to swallow. Shapow!

[ERZER 0]

Just ruin her plan and kill yourself already and make it look like she did it. If she was really planning it the guilt will cause her to fail any lie detector...who knows, maybe she'll be so pissed at you she'll follow suit.

 

Next.

[kutulu 1,554]

Once your dead and gone she's gonna host weekly gangbang parties.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,938]

Once your dead and gone she's gonna host weekly gangbang parties.

 

 

I'm counting on you to fawk her good! Can I count on you????? Once I'm dead?

[Let Da Big Dog Eat 37]

Take the blue pill already, shove it down her throat and suffocate her. Problem solved.

 

Police: You killed her by suffocation with your winkie.

You: She was liking it, I was excited, who knew? Geepers Creepers, she was playing with herself while it was going on.........