Confession is good for the soul

[Mr Anonymous 24]

I recall starting a thread like this many, many years ago on this forum and vividly remember the wonderful weight that was lifted off my shoulders just by sharing with the world some of my not so saintly transgressions.

 

There is only one rule for this thread, no matter how many sins you confess, at least 1 of them MUST be true.

 

As for me, 3 of the following 5 confessions are true. There are 2 things on this list that I did not do.

 

- I had sex with a woman other than my ex-wife, a mere 1 day after my ex-wife and I got married.

 

- I was kicked out of a small, Hillary Clinton for President campaign rally for yelling obscenities in her direction during her run for the Democratic nomination.

 

- I was detained at and then later escaped from a US military base somewhere in the central part of the continental United States. I was never caught.

 

- I was escorted off the premises of the Wynn Resort and Casino in Las Vegas and barred form re-entry for verbal harassment of a bartender.

 

- As a child, I regularly stole money out of both my parents' wallets/purses as well as that of my sister and set up our housekeeper to take the fall for which she did and was ultimately fired.

 

 

Ah, I feel so much better having that off my chest. Feel free to share you own or comment on others. Just remember the one rule: no matter how many confessions you post at least 1 of them must be true.

[Mr Anonymous 24]

No one has confessions they'd like to make? What did you guys have one too many "Geek Meets" and now are too afraid to spill your guts to people you've met face-to-face?

[Lackman 0]

No one has confessions they'd like to make? What did you guys have one too many "Geek Meets" and now are too afraid to spill your guts to people you've met face-to-face?

 

Nobody around here has a soul.

[Geo-Jay 0]

I eat my boogers

I am an alias

I eat cum

 

Hey, all of these may be true.

[Big_Pete 0]

I've been married before

[kilroy69 1,250]

I stuffed a hooker in a trunk...and kinda feel bad for it looking back.

I killed said hooker.....i dont feel so bad about it because they are dead inside anyway

I once dropped a book bag on a kids face from a stairwell and feeeeel reeeealy bad about it looking back.

[Franknbeans 46]

my mangirth is so impressive that only your mom can handle it

[Juggernauts 0]

I focked your mom. There I feel better now. Thanks!

 

(I'm surprised it took so long for someone to post that.)

[parrot 789]

I fathered edjr's baby in the bar's bathroom while he was filming a water pong tournament.

[Mr Anonymous 24]

I focked your mom. There I feel better now. Thanks!

 

My mom is currently hospitalized and in a deep coma.

[Sho Nuff 720]

I shot a man in Reno...just to watch him die.

[tikigods 76]

I fathered edjr's baby in the bar's bathroom while he was filming a water pong tournament.

 

[RicemanX 20]

I have made a total of $20,000 in donations to the obama campaign.

I saved a kitten from death by diving into a frozen lake to rescue her.

I enjoy the company of Hispanic people.

I convinced a girl to turn down a nice job in So Cal and move to the bay area with no job and then wanted nothing to do with her when she got here.

[Lackman 0]

My mom is currently hospitalized and in a deep coma.

 

I guess she didn't move around much.

 

How does she feel about wristwatches?

[Strike 5,545]

I guess she didn't move around much.

 

How does she feel about wristwatches?

 

At this point I'm guessing she doesn't feel much at all.

[Geo-Jay 0]

I have made a total of $20,000 in donations to the obama campaign.

I saved a kitten from death by diving into a frozen lake to rescue her.

I enjoy the company of Hispanic people.

I convinced a girl to turn down a nice job in So Cal and move to the bay area with no job and then wanted nothing to do with her when she got here.

 

 

You like Niggs, cats, Messycans and dudes.

[Mr Anonymous 24]

I once lied about my mom being in a coma on an internet message board.

[sgumm23 2]

I confess I've never confessed, oops. Til now.

[Recidivist 1]

IMO, truth is better than fiction. That said, I will confess to three things, all of which I am guilty of:

 

1) I stole a 600ml bottle of Oxyfast (30 doses of oxycodone in liquid form - it is administered subligually) from my Grandmother's medicine cabinet as she laid in her deathbed. In my defense, she had another unopened bottle and one bottle that was nearly full - she resisted taking it. Further, she passed about four (4) hours later and it would've gotten thrown away by my Aunt if I hadn't taken it.

 

2) I masturbated to completion in front of a semi-cute, but learning disabled girl during my senior year of HS. This event transpired in the locked office of a teacher for whom I served as an aide for one period each day; this girl was in the office taking a make-up test while I was grading papers. I offer the following mitigating circumstances: she was, unbeknownst to me at the time, 18 years old (I was 17); she had actually initiated the encounter by requesting first that I show it to her, asking to measure it, and then asking to see it come; I politely declined her offer of fellatio as I felt that it would consitute cheating on my GF. I was able to easily and credibly deny it due to her bantam brain. Despite of my repeated and successful denials in the following weeks, this episode added to my rep as she overstated the size of my wang Why get in the way of a good rumor?

 

3) When I was 13, I purposely allowed Brutus (my neighbor's 100lb+ black Lab which I walked whenever they went out of town) to shitt on another neighbor's yard for three weeks straight. This was done in spite - he had falsely and rudely accused me of allowing the same to occur in the preceding days. This neighbor (who is now dead ) was a complete assshole. I continued to repay him for his false accusation over the following years by egging his house, stealing his newspaper, jobbing his lawn, etc.

 

Ahhh . . . I feel much better now. Thanks!

[remote controller 143]

I stole a bottle of Communion Wine from my church to take on the pep bus to the state basketball tourney when I was a Sophmore. I made sure the whole bus had the oppurtunity for forgiveness of sins though.

 

 

 

 

 

DON'T JUDGE ME!!!

[Eagles Green 34]

At least 75% of my posting here is done while I'm on the sh!tter.

[Juggernauts 0]

My mom is currently hospitalized and in a deep coma.

 

 

I know. Made it that much easier to do.

[patweisers44 846]

My mom is currently hospitalized and in a deep coma.

it doesnt matter much to me, as long as she spreadddddd

[kilroy69 1,250]

it doesnt matter much to me, as long as she spreadddddd

MY NAMES BUCK......AND I LIKE TO FOCK.

[kutulu 1,676]

MY NAMES BUCK......AND I LIKE TO FOCK.

 

YEAH, WELL MY NAME IS MARTY AND I LIKE TO PARTY!

[Big Blue 06 195]

2) I masturbated to completion in front of a semi-cute, but learning disabled girl during my senior year of HS. This event transpired in the locked office of a teacher for whom I served as an aide for one period each day; this girl was in the office taking a make-up test while I was grading papers. I offer the following mitigating circumstances: she was, unbeknownst to me at the time, 18 years old (I was 17); she had actually initiated the encounter by requesting first that I show it to her, asking to measure it, and then asking to see it come; I politely declined her offer of fellatio as I felt that it would consitute cheating on my GF. I was able to easily and credibly deny it due to her bantam brain. Despite of my repeated and successful denials in the following weeks, this episode added to my rep as she overstated the size of my wang Why get in the way of a good rumor?

 

If this is true, you have serious problems.

 

 

As for me, I once told a hot girl in college that my father was in the hospital following a heart attack in hopes that it would get me her sympathy and a sweet focking hookup...and it worked.